


Safeguard

by corvidkohai



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Brief Unsafe Knifeplay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Sex Work, Sex Worker Cloud Strife
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2020-08-18 22:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 74,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvidkohai/pseuds/corvidkohai
Summary: Shinra develops a department called the Safeguard Department, which is essentially a sex worker department for the company at large, but particularly for the SOLDIERs, so they don't accidentally enhance civilians. Cloud joins the department and meets the SOLDIERs First. Eventual ASGZC.





	1. Chapter 1

They were both Shinra’s best and worst kept secret.

They were the best kept secret because absolutely no one outside the company knew about them. If you were told, you were hired or you disappeared; those were the options. If you told someone outside the company, you disappeared. Shinra’s reputation was on the line, and they wouldn’t have it tarnished. The executives were fully aware of how this would look to the public and had no intention of letting it become common knowledge.

They were the worst kept secret because every single Shinra employee was aware of their existence. No one was told upon hiring, they just happened to find out, and usually quickly. They were a hotly discussed topic. Even if people never went to see them, or found them distasteful, they still _knew_ they were there. It was hard to avoid in the Tower.

The Safeguards were there for an endless number of reasons. Having what amounted to essentially company sex workers was not necessarily orthodox, but had its benefits. They were stress relief, often. Grunts got a sick pleasure out of being able to sleep with the same people their bosses did. They prevented the troopers (for the most part) from getting involved in one another, which prevented unnecessary drama between the ranks. But overall, the average Shinra employee just didn’t go see the Safeguards. As normalized as a visit to their floor was, there was still a certain stigma around going to see them. Just because the employees didn’t pay them directly didn’t mean they weren’t aware the Safeguards were paid to sleep with them. It was just that the company footed the bill.

No, the real purpose for the Safeguards was for the SOLDIERs.

When the program had first began, there had been no restrictions on dating outside the program. It was more or less an inevitability. But then, partners started showing signs of enhancement. It turned out that, like a blood transfusion, mako could be exchanged through almost _any_ bodily fluid. Anyone who didn’t use a condom was at risk of enhancing their partner.

While it was certainly possible to maintain a relationship without sleeping with your partner, it wasn’t something that appealed to a lot of people, and that included SOLDIERs. They started sleeping with each other, but there were certain risks that came with that. Favoritism for partners, for one: SOLDIERs prioritizing the safety of one fellow SOLDIER over another in the field. The drama that always went with relationships, especially break ups, causing jealousy and strife between the ranks. Shinra needed a solution, and they needed it quickly.

It had seemed like a harebrained idea at first. They needed some sort of safeguard, something to protect the civilians from the SOLDIERs and the SOLDIERs from themselves. When it had been proposed, with infinite sarcasm in an elegant drawl, from Rufus, he’d expected the idea to be scrapped immediately. But they were desperate, and were willing to do whatever it took to rein the problem in. It couldn’t hurt to try; in the worst case, the Turks would clean up the mess.

So the Safeguard Department began. They went to the brothels of the city extending their offers. At first they tried to hire the best there was, only to find that they couldn’t persuade them. They were making a killing without risking permanent bodily changes as it was; they had no reason to take the risk of joining up with Shinra. So they changed tact. They started looking for the desperate. The newcomers, those having trouble getting clients. Anyone that they could dangle the high pay in front of and successfully blind to the other consequences. Those in severe enough need that they would accept what amounted to becoming quasi-human at best to earn their keep. It worked. There were always people willing to do what it took for money, if you looked to those desperate for gil.

Cloud hadn’t been a sex worker for very long before becoming a Safeguard.

He’d moved to Midgar with stars in his eyes. He was going to make it big, somehow. He was going to find his place in the big bad city and earn enough to keep not only himself comfortable, but also his mother. He was going to make her see that she had nothing to worry about; and she had worried, about sending him off to the city.

He couldn’t have known what he was in for.

He’d moved to the city and had to get a place below plate, finding that the places that weren’t in the slums were so exorbitantly priced they couldn’t be more than a dream. He tried to get jobs, but things were so competitive, he was floundering. He’d been in Wall Market, begging, because that was what he had come to. He told himself it was only temporary, just until he could find work.

He hadn’t expected work to fall into his lap.

A man had come and crouched in front of him. When he’d asked for gil, the man got a shark’s grin.

“Oh, I’ll be able to get you gil, alright. Why don’t you come with me? I think I’ve got a job for you.”

Cloud had been so taken in by the offer of a job that he was blindsided when he found out what it was. When he was taken to the Honey Bee Inn, he couldn’t be more shocked. This wasn’t what he wanted. He was a _virgin_, for gods’ sakes.

But he stopped, and he thought about it.

His options were thin. He might get a job eventually, but who knew how long out that was. He could risk waiting and begging and maybe lose this offer, or he could swallow his pride and take it and make what he could from it.

He decided he’d make do.

He got a frankly ridiculous sum of gil for his first time. But that was the largest amount he ever saw. The Honey Bee just didn’t pay well. They gave him lodgings, but took a cut of his pay in exchange, leaving him with a scant handful no matter how hard he worked, no matter how many clients he took. He wasn’t getting anywhere. He didn’t have anything to send home to his mother like he promised, and that was unacceptable.

So when the man from Shinra showed up and made him a better offer, he took it.

He had been warned over and over again about the risks. He was almost certain to become enhanced, they said. They couldn’t promise he wouldn’t be injured by his SOLDIER clients, if they forgot their strength and were rough with him before he was enhanced. They would still be johns; he couldn’t expect better treatment from the SOLDIERs or the Shinra executives, no matter their reputation or status.

He didn’t care. He saw the amount they were offering and that was it. He’d give his right arm for that much gil. There was nothing to think about.

Shinra, like the Honey Bee, took a cut in exchange for room and board. The difference was, his pay was mindblowing. He got paid whether or not he saw anyone. He was essentially on a salary, now. He had dry days, where no one came, and he still got paid. He didn’t care about being sworn to secrecy. He didn’t care that the executives looked at him like he was filth, or that the SOLDIERs _did_ forget their strength. There were potions provided when it happened, which was more than he could say for when he got rough johns at the Honey Bee. It had almost seemed like too much the first time he got a bone broken on accident, but the SOLDIER had Cured him immediately, and it was like it never happened; the man even _apologized_, and did so profusely.

It wasn’t great. It wasn’t what he dreamed of when he left home. But it was a dream compared to what he had been doing.

He was living in relative luxury. He had his own room. He had a whole wardrobe (given, most of it was provocative, but he’d take what he could get). He ate well. He had time to himself. He didn’t even have to work every day. He wasn’t breaking his back to barely scrape by. He was working occasionally to be provided for, and well at that.

He was finally, finally able to send money home to his mother.

And, honestly, he didn’t mind the SOLDIERs. The executives were, for the most part, assholes. The grunts were a mixed bag, and he couldn’t pin a label on them as a group. But the SOLDIERs, for the most part, treated him well. They were grateful for the Safeguards; either they had been there long enough to remember what it was like before them, or had heard stories. The Safeguards were giving up a fair amount to provide them a service they needed sorely, and the group mentality was that the least they could do in exchange was treat them right.

The SOLDIERs were an odd bunch. Sometimes they brought him presents. Some just wanted to sit and chat, to vent about their workweek with someone they knew would keep their secrets. When he had his first birthday in the Tower, and his regulars found out, they’d thrown him a _party_ and all brought him gifts, without anyone ever making a pass at him. He had a hard time remembering they were johns sometimes, and not counting some of them as friends.

Zack Fair, in particular, was hard to keep out of the friend category. He knew perfectly well that the man saw multiple Safeguards, and that he was friendly with all of them. But he was the one who threw that birthday party for Cloud. He came to talk as often as he came to sleep with him. He was one of the ones concerned with Cloud’s pleasure, and not just his own. He’d even gone as far as to ask if they were allowed to exchange PHS numbers, only to be infinitely disappointed Cloud didn’t have one in the first place. He’d offered to buy him one to remedy the problem, but Cloud had told him not to, as it was too expensive a gift. When he woke up the next morning with a brand new model sitting next to him on the pillow, he hadn’t even had it in him to be mad. Zack’s number was already inputted into it.

So? Yes. Cloud was having a very hard time remembering that Zack was not actually his friend. He was friend_ly_, but Cloud suspected he was that way with everyone. He was probably the type that didn’t know how to just fuck and leave. He found he didn’t mind. He had a scant few amount of friends.

The few he did have were fellow Safeguards. There was a beautiful older man named Vincent who refused to tell anyone how old he was or how he had gotten here; he also refused adamantly to sleep with Sephiroth, but was the only one Professor Hojo would visit. Yuffie, similarly, refused to say how she got there, only that she was from Wutai. The common theory was that she had been taken by some SOLDIER or trooper as a prize of war, but no one dared ask her, in case they were correct.

There was Tifa, who he was infinitely disappointed to see. She had still been in Nibelheim when he left, but she was already a Safeguard when he got hired. They had cried when they saw each other and clung to one another for weeks, talking in Old Nibel until it drove everyone else away. The only person who approached them was Vincent, who admitted to knowing the language. And, though they were an odd set, where Vincent went, Yuffie followed. They formed their odd group and stuck by one another.

Cloud had to remind himself firmly that _those_ were his friends, not Zack. No matter how many times the man gave him that wide smile or sent him stupid cat gifs over his PHS. There was a difference between them, and it would go poorly for them both if Cloud forgot it.

Still, when they were curled up together in bed, laughing and holding one another, it was hard to remember.

It was harder to remember that he couldn’t ask for more. That there was a firm line set between them. That this was a business transaction, and nothing more. Sure, Zack wasn’t handing him gil when he was done, but Shinra was, on his behalf. The time they spent together was on the company dime. They never would have met if it wasn’t for the Safeguard Department. Their whole relationship revolved around Cloud being paid to do anything Zack asked for. Just because Zack was asking to be friendly instead of asking him to bend over all the time didn’t make that any different. It was just hard, infinitely hard, for him to keep that in mind during the occasional moments they shared that could be called nothing but tender.

What he hadn’t expected was that Zack legitimately considered him a friend. He saw multiple Safeguards, but only Cloud had his PHS number. Cloud was the only one he talked up to his friends.

“I’m serious! He’s something special. He’s being wasted there,” Zack said, flopped back on Angeal’s couch.

Genesis tossed a pillow at him, which Zack caught lazily out of the air before sending him a pout.

“You’re getting attached to what you shouldn’t. He’s there to provide relief, not friendship,” Genesis said in a huff.

“You’re only saying that because you haven’t _gone_, Gen. He’s a little diamond. You’d _like_ him, if you went to see him. I think you all would,” he said, pointedly looking from Genesis to Angeal to Sephiroth. Angeal was the only one who didn’t outright scoff. “Seph, you in particular.”

“Why me?” he asked, a look of outright disdain on his face.

“Because you need to blow off steam in general, to start with. And you have the same sense of humor. And I think you might actually have a good time with him, in a way you don’t with the other SOLDIERs.”

“The only issue I have with them is their constant need to defer.”

“He won’t.”

Sephiroth raised his eyebrow.

Zack propped himself up on his elbows, saying, “I’m serious. He’s a little spitfire; he doesn’t take shit from anyone, and I don’t think he’ll take _your_ shit either. You could give it to him all you want, and he’d probably still let you sleep with him since that’s his job, but he’ll give as good as he gets. He’s one of the few people I think could keep up with you.”

“I doubt that,” Genesis said, snorting a laugh.

Zack scowled at him.

“You’ve never met him, what do you know?”

“I know that _everyone_ who isn’t currently in this room is either terrified of him or in awe of him.”

Zack frowned and said, “You know what, let’s find out.”

Zack pulled out his PHS and flipped to the texting app.

_Zack:_ cloud how do you feel about sephiroth

_Cloud:_ uh

_Cloud:_ I don’t really feel any way about sephiroth?

_Cloud: _never met him

Zack repeated the conversation aloud and looked around expectantly. Sephiroth rolled his eyes and Genesis shook his head.

“That doesn’t mean anything Zack,” Genesis insisted.

So Zack tried again.

_Zack:_ what if I got him to come meet you

_Cloud:_ uhhhhh sure? makes no difference to me

_Cloud:_ but if his “sword” is as big as his actual sword I want a warning

_Cloud:_ need to know exactly what kind of abuse my ass is about to take

Zack coughed a laugh.

“Hey, how big is your ‘sword,’ Seph?”

“Eight feet long. Do you not know that by now?”

Angeal sighed and said, “I think that was a euphemism, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth frowned, saying, “What is the point of such a question?”

“I’m asking because his only concern with meeting you was whether or not his ass was gonna hurt later.”

Genesis and Sephiroth both raised their eyebrows.

Zack sat all the way up, crossing his legs.

“See? I’m serious. He’s not gonna be afraid of any of you. The worst he’ll do is treat you like any other customer, because until you prove otherwise, that’s kinda all you _are_. Make friends with him and he’ll treat you like an actual friend, not some demon or idol.” Zack spread his hands and then dropped them. “Look, all I’m saying is that if you give him a chance, something good might come of it.”

None of them looked quite convinced.

But it _was_ an interesting idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Sephiroth hadn’t intended to take Zack up on his advice. The SOLDIER was, at almost all times, some level of ridiculous or another. He didn’t take his comments seriously. Genesis had been right: everyone who wasn’t afraid of him had been in the room during that conversation.

But the fact of the matter was, he was developing a… dilemma.

He was never much of one for sex. It was a need to be met and nothing more. He frankly preferred to take care of it himself, and only sought outside assistance when his hand was no longer enough. He preferred other SOLDIERs, and only Seconds or higher. Sex didn’t have to be truly vulnerable if you didn’t let it, but there was always some degree of it involved, and he never liked that.

It wasn’t necessarily the nudity; his concerns with that had been stripped from him in the labs. He didn’t much care who saw him undressed, and he had to change out and shower with the other SOLDIERs many times. That didn’t mean he usually undressed for intercourse, either. He preferred to keep some sort of barrier between him and his partners, for a buffer if not because nudity bothered him. He didn’t like allowing anyone too close.

And that was the issue. He didn’t like sleeping with strangers, but he didn’t want to get close to his partners, either. Strangers, or as close as you could get in the SOLDIER department, since he wasn’t permitted to have sex with anyone outside it, all looked at him wrong. It was all deference to their superior officer, or stars in their eyes for their great hero. He wanted neither. They were more interested in fucking his title than they were him, and that grated.

The Seconds were his preferred lot. They were high enough up the ladder that they weren’t quite so intimidated, and knew him just well enough for him to have misspoken and been rude in front of them at some point, so their hero worship was tarnished. They still did as they were told in bed, and didn’t protest him keeping his clothes on, and it was tolerable. The issue was, that too many of them thought it made them friends, afterward. They reached out to “hang out” and keep up communication, and that wasn’t something Sephiroth was interested in. He had as many friends as his tolerance for socialization would allow. He didn’t have the energy for any more. Things always got awkward after he inevitably rebuffed them, which spoiled the whole thing.

The Firsts weren’t much better. Zack, he had never taken to his bed. He was newly promoted, and his penchant for making friends made Sephiroth concerned he might read more into the encounter than was meant. Angeal he had slept with a few times, but it wasn’t something they did often; they hadn’t in years. Angeal was more interested in Genesis, and despite the fact that Sephiroth was well aware their relationship was open, he felt uncomfortable intruding. Particularly with Angeal, who always seemed to touch him with a strange degree of tenderness that he never fully knew what to do with.

That usually left him turning to Genesis. He still didn’t like interfering with his relationship with Angeal, but he knew nothing romantic was happening between him and Genesis. When they fucked, it was very nearly a fight. It usually started with them sparring, to be truthful. Their kisses were full of teeth. It was a grapple to see who would be on top. They always came away with bruises. And while it was exhilarating, it still wasn’t quite comfortable, because at the end of it all, when they were catching their breath, Genesis would give him this _look_. It was a look he never saw any other time, and it always made him question his earlier assertion that this wasn’t romantic. Then he’d leave whatever bed they were in with some excuse or another, feeling sick with guilt, that maybe he _was_ coming between Genesis and Angeal.

It left him with no good options.

He knew the need was building. Even if he got himself off, it stopped feeling like quite enough anymore, and he’d done this enough times to know how it went. When he caught himself watching the swing of Angeal’s hips as he walked, he knew he was going to have to do something soon. This was usually the time when he reluctantly began sorting through his options again. He’d weed through the Seconds, see if there was anyone he hadn’t soured the relationship with who might be interested, or someone who maybe wouldn’t read more into than what it was. He considered Angeal, but shut that down with the usual logic. He considered Genesis, but got a flash of that _look_ behind his eyes, and discarded the idea with a sour taste on his tongue. He briefly considered Zack, but no, he still couldn’t quite risk it—he needed more time to evaluate him before taking the chance. He could hear Angeal’s gentle reminder that he’d known Zack for years, that Zack was safe, but he still didn’t quite trust it.

But while he was considering Zack, he thought of Zack’s Safeguard.

He had resolutely discarded the idea of the Safeguards long ago. He didn’t know anything about them. They were as close to the general populace as he was permitted to sleep with, and he knew very well what civilians thought of him. It was always abject fear or hero worship. He wanted neither. He knew there were no concerns about a Safeguard getting attached, which was his issue with his other options; it would be a transaction and nothing more, with both parties aware of that. But he’d always been unwilling to turn to them out of concern over how they’d look at him, either in horror or adoration.

But, allegedly, this Cloud would fare better.

He tapped his fingers against his desktop.

It was worth a shot.

He stood and left his office, told his secretary to handle his calls for him, and left for the Safeguard floor.

When he entered, the receptionist was stunned. No one had ever seen him in the Safeguard Department. The only time they heard his name there was when someone asked about the Safeguards’ lists of hard no’s, and Vincent firmly said he’d never see Sephiroth. No one ever thought they’d see him in person.

He raised an eyebrow, and the secretary burst into action. She went about asking him all the usual questions—room preference, toy or supply preferences, gender preferences. She promised to match him with the perfect Safeguard for him, and he shook his head.

“I’m here to see a young man by the name of Cloud. Is he available?”

She blinked in surprise, but after a few keystrokes and some clicks of her mouse, she informed him that he was. She asked again if he needed any supplies, and when he said no, she sent a message through her computer to warn Cloud, and led him deeper into the department.

She brought him through a maze of hallways lined with doors. There were a variety of sounds coming from them. There was the obvious moaning and cries of pleasure. There were some heavy impacts and slaps. There wasn’t a lot of it, but he was surprised to hear any laughter here, where he imagined everyone must be miserable with their lot. Eventually, she stopped in front of a door that she identified by some means unknown to him, and knocked three times. She smiled politely and gestured him forward. Sephiroth nodded brusquely and entered the room, the receptionist already disappearing down the hall by the time the door closed.

Cloud was sitting on a rather large bed, cross-legged, with one elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand. His eyes were downcast, reading what appeared to be a magazine spread open on the sheets in front of him. He held up a finger as he finished what he was reading before picking up the magazine and tossing it haphazardly to the side.

Sephiroth knew what Cloud looked like. Zack had shown him pictures plenty of times before, sometimes bragging about his friend’s cuteness, sometimes trying to entice him to visit. The pictures didn’t quite do him justice. His eyes were mako-bright, proving he had been here for a while at least, but still the clearest blue he had ever seen, like some far-off mountain lake. His hair was, frankly, absurd, but it was charming in its disarray, and looked feather-soft. He had a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and high on his cheeks, and pale, pale skin that made Sephiroth long to watch bruises bloom across it, or turn pink with a blush that would show so well. He was lithe and trim, making Sephiroth think that he worked out some, outside of the exercise of his job, but that might have just been the mako. He wasn’t dressed provocatively, as Sephiroth imagined he might be, but he supposed he didn’t have much notice. He was wearing simple dark jeans and a white tee-shirt that hugged his frame nicely, while being entirely barefoot.

The magazine tossed to the side, Cloud dropped his hands into his lap. He tilted his head to the side, sweeping his eyes up and down Sephiroth.

“So. Sephiroth, huh?”

“That is my name, yes.”

“Didn’t think you’d actually come see me. Zack’s told me he’s been trying to convince you, but he also said you’re stubborn.”

“Zack talks too much.”

Cloud chuckled, and the sound warmed something in Sephiroth. It was a curious reaction; he’d have to examine it later.

“He does. Still could’ve used a heads up—front desk doesn’t give us much time if it’s not pre-scheduled.”

“I apologize. It was an… impromptu decision.”

Cloud quirked an eyebrow, leaning back on his hands.

“Was Zack right, then? You just need to get laid?”

Sephiroth frowned. He would have a talk with Zack about indiscretion.

“I need a less complicated option than the other SOLDIERs.”

Cloud shrugged, saying, “That’s kinda why we’re here. I’m surprised you haven’t come to the department sooner, if that’s your issue. I’ve heard plenty of talk about how you’ve never stopped by.”

With the topic of why he’d never visited brought up, Sephiroth let his mind pass over what had been said so far, his eyes running over Cloud.

He really didn’t seem afraid of him. Or in awe of him.

Curious.

“I dislike how civilians treat me. Zack promised you would not be cowed the same way.”

Cloud blinked in surprise, then shrugged again.

“I’m here to fuck you, not kiss your ass. Unless you mean literally, in which case, I’m going to have to ask you to wash up in my bathroom first—I’ll rim you, but not unless you’re clean.”

It was Sephiroth’s turn to blink. He wasn’t accustomed to people being so frank with him, especially not about sex, not anyone but Genesis. Even Angeal had toed around actually talking about what they were doing.

“I’m not interested.”

“‘Kay, let me know if you change your mind. What _are_ you interested in?”

“Intercourse. I thought that was obvious.”

Cloud snorted.

“‘Intercourse.’ You always so formal?”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed. He _certainly_ wasn’t accustomed to teasing from civilians.

“I tend to be, yes. You still haven’t explained your question.”

“I mean what _exactly_ do you want? We can wing it if you’d like, but if you need sort of supplies, it’ll go smoother if I get them first. I’ve got lube on the nightstand, but if you need plugs, or rope, blindfolds, handcuffs, et cetera, I should go get them now.”

Sephiroth blinked again. He was being caught off guard a lot in this conversation, and he wasn’t sure he necessarily liked it.

“Let’s just—stick to the basics. We can discuss other things if I decide on a second visit. The only rule is that I will be keeping my clothes on and we will not kiss.”

Cloud didn’t so much as bat an eye, just scooted to the edge of the bed.

“Alright. Should I undress, or do you like to do that?”

Sephiroth furrowed his brow. Almost everyone asked about him not undressing, or at least looked at him oddly. He was given to understand it was a strange request, but Cloud made nothing of it. Perhaps he was just accustomed to strange requests from clients.

Sephiroth didn’t answer, just approached Cloud as he stood from the bed.

When he took someone to bed, it could go in wildly different directions. Angeal kissed him passionately, but tenderly, his touches strangely soft for all of their intensity. He yielded to Sephiroth, seeming to know he’d be more comfortable in control. Genesis kissed him with teeth, the whole thing a fight until the end, fully incapable of being predicted. The Seconds tended to hang on his word, letting him lead the entire proceeding, daring to ask nothing from him, only taking what he deigned to give, which often didn’t include kisses at all—it felt too familiar for them. Sleeping with a Second was wildly different from sleeping with Genesis. He had no idea where Cloud would fit into all this.

He had decided even before arriving that he would not kiss Cloud. Kissing felt vulnerable to him. It was something he allowed with Genesis and Angeal and no one else. His concerns about deference from Cloud had been more or less soothed, but the fact remained that he did not know him, did not trust him. It wasn’t an option.

So instead of beginning at the obvious start of a kiss, he cupped Cloud’s jaw as he stepped close, tilting his head back, dipping his head to mouth at his throat. Cloud did not protest, humming in what might have been approval, might have just been understanding. He looped his arms around Sephiroth’s neck, his back bowing as Sephiroth wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed him close.

For all of his irreverence, Cloud was submitting easier than Sephiroth had expected, but perhaps he should have seen it coming. He was being paid to provide his visitors with whatever they wanted. Unless he was told to put up a fight, it didn’t really make sense that he would.

Sephiroth began nipping and sucking at his pulse point, Cloud making soft noises of pleasure as he did so. He dipped his hand lower, cupping Cloud’s ass, kneading it firmly and earning a quiet moan.

He found himself second guessing everything. Every moan and sigh and gasp he earned, he couldn’t quite believe wasn’t a performance. And it was distracting. He wanted his partners to be genuine, to earn their sounds of pleasure. He wasn’t sure if they were being given away because it was what was expected.

He frowned into Cloud’s neck, but resolved to try for a while longer. He trailed his hand down Cloud’s throat just to push it up under his shirt, carefully rolling a nipple between his fingers. Cloud shivered, and he thought that wasn’t something that could be faked, but perhaps he was wrong. He slipped his other hand down the back of Cloud’s pants to grab at his naked ass, listening to the way his breath hitched. He bit down harder, and Cloud’s moan was rougher, and he was _inclined_ to believe it was honest, but he couldn’t _quite_.

He pulled away.

Cloud looked at him in confusion, breathing hard.

“Something’s wrong,” he said. “What is it?”

“I can’t tell if you’re performing for me, and I don’t like it. You must be. That’s your job, isn’t it?”

Cloud tilted his head, slowly catching his breath. He looked carefully at Sephiroth, eyes narrowing slightly.

“My job is to fuck you however you want it. If you want me quiet, I can do that.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“What are you saying, then? Because I can’t give you something if I don’t know what it is.”

“I… want you to be honest. But can you do that, if you can’t say no to me?”

Cloud rolled his eyes outright.

“I can say no, Sephiroth. I can tell you to fuck off any time, and security will come get you—not that I’m sure that would do much, considering you’re, well, _you_. You know there’s a Safeguard who’s only rule is that he won’t fuck you? We’ll do this how you want it, but not because I’m helpless to deny you.”

“And if I want this how you want this?”

Cloud laughed outright at that.

“Sephiroth, c’mon. That’s not what you want. Your need for control is _legendary_. You don’t want me to set the rules. Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you just how you want it, but you’ve gotta communicate.”

Sephiroth had half a mind to demand they do this however Cloud wanted, just to be contrary, just because Cloud told him he _didn’t_ want it, but then again, Cloud was right. He pursed his lips.

He stepped closer again and began slowly, carefully peeling Cloud’s clothes away.

“I only want sound from you if you mean it, if it actually feels that good. I don’t want to be kissed. I want to suck you off, and then I want to fuck you. You’re free to touch where you’d like, and I enjoy having my hair pulled. I don’t want you to give me what you think I want. React however you’d like. Make this as genuine as you are able.”

By the time he was finished, Cloud was standing naked before him. He finally raised his eyes from his work to find Cloud’s boring into his, and he nodded slowly.

“I can do that.”

To prove his point, he reached up and threaded his fingers through Sephiroth’s hair, nails grazing his scalp. He moved closer, pressing himself up against Sephiroth, and he could feel where Cloud was starting to harden against his hip.

Sephiroth dipped his head and began working Cloud’s throat again, and this time he was quieter, but not by much. There was less moaning, but more deep hums of pleasure and quiet gasps. Every now and again, his hips would twitch up, pressing him against Sephiroth. Sephiroth arched over him, his hands full of Cloud’s ass, and Cloud’s back curved to allow him to do what he’d like, offering himself up to his ministrations.

It was only when Sephiroth could feel Cloud fully hard against his hip and he was panting for breath that he walked them slowly back toward the bed before tossing Cloud up onto it. Cloud gave him a fierce little grin, apparently enjoying the display of strength.

Sephiroth crawled over him, their eyes locked, until he lowered himself to lap slowly at Cloud’s nipple. Cloud sighed, just to have his breath hitch when Sephiroth caught the tender nub when his teeth. Cloud grabbed two handfuls of his hair and _pulled_, and it was Sephiroth’s turn to struggle to breath. He’d always enjoyed having his hair pulled, but so far, only Genesis dared to actually do it, despite the fact that he always told his partner it was something he enjoyed. Cloud repeated the motion, harder, and when he looked up, it was to the sight of a mischievous little grin spread across his face.

“You said something about sucking my cock?” Cloud said, pulling him lower by the hair.

Sephiroth blew a hard breath through his nose that only his friends would have recognized as a laugh before allowing himself to be guided down. When he settled between his legs, Cloud stopped pulling, but kept his grip in his hair for something to hold on to.

“Stay still; if you move, I will hold you down,” Sephiroth said, glancing up to watch as Cloud nodded, before setting to work.

He understood, objectively, that most people considered giving blowjobs a sort of submission. It was true that he wasn’t the one being stimulated, instead giving pleasure. It was true that, should his partner grab his head and try to fuck his mouth, there would be some sort of surrender involved. But when his partner lay still, he enjoyed doing this, because it allowed him absolute control. He was the one who determined how much pleasure his partner had and when. There was none of the vulnerability that was involved in being the one pleasured, no tolerating touches he may or may not have liked. He set the pace, he controlled every movement, he got to play his partner’s body however he liked.

And Cloud was a _very_ good recipient. He did exactly what he was told—well, for the most part. He didn’t let his hips press up once, which was what Sephiroth had meant when he asked Cloud to hold still. He did, however, writhe beautifully. He kept shifting, squirming, clearly wanting more but not willing to ask for it. Sephiroth wasn’t sure if he didn’t think he was allowed to ask, but he liked to imagine that Cloud simply didn’t like to beg. It would be all the sweeter when he finally did.

Cloud’s hands flitted uselessly. One moment they were in Sephiroth’s hair, then they were pressed over Cloud’s mouth to hold in the sounds he was making, then they were fisting in the sheets. They landed above his head, they gripped the headboard, they pressed to his eyes as he whimpered.

And the sounds he made were _glorious_. He had taken Sephiroth’s request for no performance to heart. Sephiroth could watch him bite back the sounds when he could, sometimes choking on them. He tried to muffle them, or turned his face to the side to at least aim them away. But the little hums and gasps of before had turned into moans and whimpers and occasional whines. There was one moment when Sephiroth sucked hard on the head, digging his tongue into the slit, and Cloud’s back arched off the bed with the prettiest cry Sephiroth had ever heard. It was addicting, to hear him lose himself.

Every time he began to tremble, Sephiroth backed off, pulling away entirely, and Cloud relaxed against the bed, cursing fervently.

There was only so many rounds of that he could take before Cloud snapped, “Godsdammit, _stop_ edging me.”

“I’ll let you come if you beg for it.”

Cloud cracked an eye open and squinted down at Sephiroth. He was surprised to find that the man appeared to be enjoying himself. For all his hesitation when they first started, he seemed to be engrossed now. There was certainly a teasing glint to his eye and in the lilt of his lips. Cloud pursed his own.

“I don’t beg easily—not unless I’m told to. Are you telling me to?”

“Hmmm, no. I’d rather earn it.”

Before Cloud had time to process what that meant, Sephiroth went back to work, and he was well and truly distracted.

They went more and more rounds, Sephiroth bringing him to the edge before pulling away. At that point, his own hardness was aching so much he’d undone his pants to relieve the pressure, occasionally giving himself a few strokes to take the edge off. And besides, Cloud certainly made a delectable sight like this; it was a memory he knew he’d pull up again later. The blond was sprawled back against the bed, his hair mussed from squirming against the pillows and sheets, a pretty pink flush spread across his cheeks and chest. Every now and then, when he was getting close, fine tremors would work through him, and his mouth would part in a moan, and it would make Sephiroth ache to see if those lips looked as good stretched around his own cock.

Cloud had lost track of how long they had been at it before he gave out a desperate sob and said, “Please! Please, godsdammit, _please_ let me come.”

Sephiroth pulled away, stroking Cloud while his mouth was away.

“Surely you can do better than that.”

“I don’t—_nnnn_—I don’t know what you want me to say! Fucking—_please_.”

“How badly do you want it?”

“_Desperately_, Sephiroth, I’ll do whatever you want, just _please_.”

Neither pointed out that he’d already admitted that he’d do whatever Sephiroth wanted, but that wasn’t the point in that moment anyway.

Sephiroth leaned down to trail his tongue over the length, especially taking his time with the head, and earned a wordless keen for his trouble. He pulled away.

“What? _No_, Sephiroth, come _on_.”

Sephiroth chuckled, the sound low and dark. He reached for the lube on the bedside table.

“I want you to come on my cock.”

“I can do both. You said you wanted to suck me _off_. Which implies me getting _off_.”

“Very astute of you.”

“_Sephiroth_.”

He looked down at Cloud in amusement. No one who wasn’t a First Class dared to needle him.

“I changed my mind,” he said breezily, dropping the bottle to the sheets before spreading Cloud’s legs wider and circling his fingers at his entrance. “Tell me, Cloud, can you come without being touched?”

Cloud narrowed his eyes at him. He could do it, but it tended to take longer than he liked, and only ended when he was wound up to the point of desperation. He preferred to get off when _he_ wanted it—it was the reason he didn’t usually tell clients it was an option.

But apparently his expression spoke well enough for him, because Sephiroth was grinning wickedly down at him.

“_Excellent_,” he said, voice nearly a purr as he slid a finger inside.

“I can’t believe no one warned me that you’re—_ah!_—a relentless tease.”

“There are few people I tease, and I don’t believe you speak to any of them.”

Sephiroth added a second finger, and Cloud groaned, rolling his hips back to meet the thrusts.

“Why am I one of the few?”

Sephiroth made a point of finding his prostate and stroking over it repeatedly to distract him.

It worked for a while, Cloud whining loudly, until he struggled for enough breath to try again.

“I’m waiting for an answer,” Cloud said, eyes fluttering open just enough to look at him, still at a lazy half-mast.

Sephiroth leaned forward to nip at his neck so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact, and added another finger.

“That’s why. Because you don’t, as Zack put it, ‘take my shit.’”

Cloud gave a breathy laugh that turned into a moan.

“Hate to break it to you, but you’re not _my_ commanding officer. I don’t owe you anything but a lay.”

Sephiroth almost answered, but bit his tongue. This was ranging toward vulnerable territory. He was sure he could explain exactly what it meant to him that Cloud wasn’t afraid of him or revering him, but with that, came the admission that those things bothered him. It was too intimate, for Cloud to know those things about him. Better to keep distance.

Instead, he pulled his fingers out, breathing a soft laugh at Cloud’s sound of loss.

“On your front,” he said, and Cloud obediently shifted.

He rolled over and pulled his knees up under him, but let his chest pressed to the mattress, his arms pillowed under his head. His ass was on glorious display in front of Sephiroth. It wasn’t particularly the reason he liked this position—he liked not having the intimacy of watching his partners face-to-face. Most people went for hands and knees, or elbows and knees, not quite bending so far over, but Sephiroth had no complaints about the admittedly obscene image.

“Is this oka—_ah_, I, uh, guess it is,” Cloud mumbled, as Sephiroth interrupted him by digging his thumbs in and spreading his hole wide. He ran his thumbs around the edges of it, and Cloud shivered beneath him—he was perfectly accustomed to being on display, but this kind of inspection always felt dirty, even to him, and he enjoyed it.

“Are you ready?”

“Hurry _up_.”

Sephiroth gave that strange hard-breath-of-a-laugh again, but lined himself up and pressed in slowly. Cloud’s teeth sunk into his bottom lip to help contain the wordless noise of pure pleasure he made, but once Sephiroth was far enough inside to manage, he reached around and pressed Cloud’s mouth open with a finger to his bottom lip, the cry spilling out helplessly as Cloud arched beneath him.

Sephiroth guessed that it would probably be fine to move immediately. He assumed Cloud was used to frequent sex, by nature of his job. He was sure not every client was gentle. He certainly never gave _Genesis_ time to adjust—every time he tried, he was swatted and ordered to hurry it up. Still, something had him waiting anyway, rolling his hips to provide some movement, some stimulation, without thrusting in earnest. 

Cloud’s head was bowed and he was breathing harshly, trying to adjust to the size. Sephiroth’s guess wasn’t far off—in most cases, he didn’t really need this sort of grace period, but he usually let the client have a moment to feel they were doing him a favor before he encouraged them along. But Sephiroth was _big_. He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice until this point, but he hadn’t really had the opportunity to _look_. He kept wondering, now, where the hell the man fit that thing in pants that tight. He’d joked with Zack about the size of his “sword,” but he hadn’t really thought it would be an issue.

Sephiroth had known about the issue, of course. He’d had enough partners to know that he was, as more than one of them had put it, “hung.” He went as slow with the penetration with Cloud as he usually did, but had the expectation that he would adjust easier. He wasn’t entirely _wrong_, but Cloud was still glad he’d given him a chance to get used to the size.

After a long pause, where Cloud just breathed, he nodded. He shifted his arms so his head wasn’t resting on them, his forehead touching the sheets and his forearms uncrossed, hands fisting in the sheets. He used his new grip to shift forward on his knees and press back sharply, groaning as he did so.

Sephiroth took it as the permission to move that it was. His hands found Cloud’s hips, and that was the end of the effort Cloud had to put in. Sephiroth’s hands maneuvered him how he wanted, pulling and pushing him in time with his thrusts, sometimes holding him perfectly still. The first few strokes were entirely for Sephiroth’s pleasure, an indulgence, allowing him to get used to the tight, wet heat of Cloud’s body. Then he began shifting, adjusting his angle, trying to find Cloud’s prostate until he eventually hit it and Cloud pressed his face to the mattress to hide the sound he made. He had been perfectly serious about making Cloud come without touching him.

He wanted to reach out and grab Cloud by the hair, to yank him back so he couldn’t muffle any more sounds. He thought he’d look good, his back bowed in a harsh curve, trying his best to keep the difficult position despite the way Sephiroth wouldn’t have stopped thrusting into him. But this wasn’t Genesis, who he would have done that to in a heartbeat. This was Cloud, who he just met, who he was sure had rules that he didn’t know about. Cloud had mentioned another Safeguard had a rule he would not see Sephiroth; he was certain Cloud had a few of his own.

He didn’t think he’d be overstepping boundaries. Cloud had said over and over again, that they were going to do this how Sephiroth wanted. He suspected that if he hit one of Cloud’s rules, he would be told, and expected to back off or security would be called. It was probably safe to go ahead, but he hesitated anyway.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he liked what was happening here with Cloud. He liked that he didn’t either fear or revere him, that he didn’t “take his shit.” He liked that Cloud respected his boundaries and could listen to what he was told to do, that he didn’t ask questions about those rules. He gave without taking in a way that didn’t feel like deference, but more like a gift. Which was ridiculous, because Sephiroth understood Cloud was being paid to do this, had done the same for gods knew how many others, and would continue to. This wasn’t for _him_. But it felt like it was. It felt… special. Something was on the tip of his tongue with that, with what was happening here. If he followed this trail a little further, he would figure it out, he was sure of it.

Before he could get any further with that line of thought, Cloud grabbed handful of silver hair where it was tickling his side, and _yanked_.

But his voice was strangely soft when he said, “Focus, Sephiroth.”

Cloud’s head was tilted so he could look up at Sephiroth with one eye, and Sephiroth wasn’t entirely sure what he saw there. So instead of examine the moment too closely, he set about bringing them both closer to the edge with new fervor.

Cloud moaned his encouragement, this time taking the initiative to press back and meet the thrusts.

It wasn’t the first time someone had gotten lost in his bed. Where they got pulled aside, wrapped into some problem they were having. He didn’t know what issue Sephiroth was bogged down in, but he was the general of an army, Cloud was sure he had plenty to choose from. But he considered it part of his job to pull his clients away from that. He was a distraction, as much as he was stress relief. It was his job to keep their attention on him and away from their own problems for however long they were in his bed.

He had no way of knowing the problem Sephiroth was having was him.

So instead he did what he always did in these situations. He pulled out all the stops. Sephiroth had been enjoying having complete control before, and Cloud would let him have it again if that was what he wanted, but his plan was the equivalent of picking Sephiroth up and tossing him bodily over the metaphorical edge.

He tightened around him, pressing back to meet each thrust hard. It was an awkward angle, but Cloud managed to reach between his legs, rolling Sephiroth’s balls in his hand in a way that spoke of long practice. He could hear Sephiroth curse sharply above him as he curled forward, one hand pressing to the mattress next to Cloud’s elbow, the other clutching his hip tighter. He could feel Sephiroth’s breath hot against the back of his neck. He could feel when a hard shudder ran through the SOLDIER and he could feel when Sephiroth grabbed the arm that was reached between his legs and pinned it to the mattress, finally forgetting himself. Cloud knew his wrist would bruise, but it would heal quickly, and he cared more that Sephiroth was starting to get lost in the right way.

“You shouldn’t rush me,” Sephiroth warned, his teeth scraping the back of Cloud’s neck in a way that made him shiver. “You’re coming with me inside you or not at all. Unless you didn’t want to orgasm?”

Cloud thought privately that there was no way in hell he wasn’t going to orgasm, even if it meant getting himself off after Sephiroth left. He was more turned on than he usually was with clients and he had absolutely no reason to go unsatisfied. But Sephiroth’s idea _did_ sound better.

Still, Cloud couldn’t resist tightening one final time, because as he had been told many times, he could be a terrible tease. He didn’t fully expect the hand that cracked against his ass, but it did shock a moan right out of him, and then a breathless laugh that followed quickly after. He couldn’t see, but Sephiroth’s lips quirked up at the sound.

Cloud was content with the situation, now. Sephiroth had let loose enough to pin his wrist hard enough to bruise and slap his ass with enough force that he could still feel the sting. He wasn’t wrapped in his own head anymore, and that had been the goal, more than actually getting him off. He settled for meeting each thrust and only _occasionally_ clenching around Sephiroth, who smacked his ass every time for his effort—Cloud could admit he did it a few extra times just for the reaction.

But he couldn’t keep that game up for long. He could feel the moment when his eyes started to glaze over with pleasure; it was around when he pressed his forehead to the mattress and fisted his hands in the sheets. He was starting to fall out of rhythm and into trembling all over.

He felt Sephiroth sit back up like a loss, his body heat disappearing with his grip around his wrist, already stained purple. He forgave the motion because Sephiroth grabbed his hips instead, reverting to how they started this, with the general pushing and pulling his hips as he liked. Cloud didn’t have to do any of the work this way, and that was for the best, because his efforts weren’t very successful anymore. Cloud refused to consider that Sephiroth was being considerate of his current state, and chalked it up to wanting to fuck Cloud exactly as he wanted again.

Sephiroth himself couldn’t have said which one it was. He was too focused on making Cloud come.

It didn’t take much longer for it to happen. Cloud’s back bowed so hard it looked almost painful, baring the long line of his throat as he tossed his head back and cried out, the sound broken. His grip on the sheets was so tight that they tore under his fingers. For the first time, Sephiroth regretted his choice of position, thinking that he should have flipped them for the last second at least, just to see Cloud’s face as he came.

But it was too late now, Cloud was slumped boneless against the mattress, even if his ass was still in the air. He did crack one eye open to squint back at Sephiroth, though.

“Go on,” he encouraged, tightening around Sephiroth once again. The SOLDIER might have slowed so as to not overwhelm him while he was sensitive, but Cloud hadn’t forgotten that he hadn’t come. How could he, when he was still settled, hard and heavy, in Cloud’s ass?

Sephiroth nodded once, briefly, before beginning again in earnest. This time, he stopped caring about his aim, and just relished in the perfect heat surrounding him. He didn’t slap Cloud’s ass for clenching down anymore, though his fingers did tighten their grip on his hips when he did it. He was sure to have bruises there, too, but Cloud didn’t much care.

It _was_ nice, however, the handful of times he did accidentally hit Cloud’s prostate, to watch him jerk and gasp out a strangled moan in surprised pleasure.

Sephiroth followed Cloud not terribly long after the blond had orgasmed himself. The last few thrusts before it began were deep and hard, but Sephiroth didn’t stop fucking Cloud through his own orgasm, relishing in the almost-too-much pleasure burning in his veins. When he was finished, having given everything he had, he slid a hand up Cloud’s back in what he meant as a silent thank-you, but wasn’t sure if Cloud would understand. Perhaps it was for the best if he didn’t. Even as he did it, he wasn’t confident why he was doing the gesture. Before he could consider it too closely, he caught sight of the bruises he had left.

He pulled out and slid back a little on the bed, allowing Cloud room to collapse on his side, letting out a long breath. He stretched languorously, looking much like a cat that had gotten the canary when he slanted a look up at Sephiroth. But their eyes didn’t meet, because Sephiroth was too busy taking stock of his injuries.

When he trailed his eyes to follow the man’s gaze, Cloud sighed and waved his hand dismissively.

“Stop worrying. I’m not a SOLDIER, but I heal like one. They’ll be gone in an hour.”

“I’m not _worried_. I just… didn’t intend on leaving them.”

(He was worried. He just wouldn’t admit it to himself, much less Cloud.)

“It really doesn’t matter that you did. I’ve gotten way worse before. This is nothing,” Cloud said breezily, rolling over onto his back, stretching his arms above his head and all the way down to his pointed toes before slumping back against the sheets.

Cloud had been in the business too long. He forgot that injuries in bed weren’t exactly standard. Safeguards, and sex workers outside, exchanged stories of injuries all the time. The only difference was that, on the outside, it was done in fear, and here, it was with something closer to exasperation, because the injuries didn’t last very long and the clients tended to apologize for them.

Sephiroth did not know this. He knew that he had left bruises and scratches and bitemarks on Genesis before, and gotten much the same, but that was _Genesis_, and they had always fucked like they were fighting. He didn’t understand how Cloud could be casual about injuries, apparently bad ones, given to him in the context they were.

But he didn’t address it. Cloud clearly thought it was normal, and Sephiroth didn’t know enough about this work to say otherwise. Instead, as he stood and righted himself, he cast a Cure over Cloud, who blinked his eyes open and looked at him in surprise. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Cloud protested. “Really, I promise I heal like a SOLDIER. Mako eyes should prove that to you.”

“I’m not in the habit of leaving my SOLDIERs injured, either.”

Cloud frowned as he sat up, but leaned on one hand.

“I’m not a SOLDIER, and a few bruises won’t stop me from doing my job. The bigger threat to that would be how sore my ass was from taking you, seriously, how do you _fit_ that thing in your pants?”

His attempt at levity fell flat, as Sephiroth frowned back, saying, “Did I not prepare you sufficiently?”

“Oh boy,” Cloud whispered, running a hand through his hair. “It was a joke, Sephiroth. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I was fine before the Cure. I appreciate the gesture—I really do. But I’m not someone you have to worry about, okay? I’m just here to provide you a service. Let me do that, and let me take care of the aftermath. That’s part of my job, too. I wouldn’t make you change the sheets, would I?”

The frown fell away from Sephiroth’s face, but not because he was no longer displeased. He was just now too busy examining Cloud.

He didn’t like his word choice. He didn’t like Cloud thinking he was “just there to provide him a service,” especially considering what the service was. As if that was the only point of him. He didn’t like Cloud accepting injuries as part of the job, or taking care of them as one of his duties. He didn’t like that they were apparently as routine as changing the sheets.

But it wasn’t supposed to matter to him. He didn’t know Cloud. They weren’t friends. He had never been much of a humanitarian; he wasn’t one to be upset by someone’s unfortunate circumstances simply because they were unfortunate. He had no investment in Cloud, no reason to care. Cloud had a point, even. His relationship with Sephiroth extended as far as providing a service, nothing more.

He reminded himself of this firmly, and found that it tasted sour on his tongue.

He nodded brusquely, and Cloud smiled at him, hoping he’d set Sephiroth at ease. He found it strange that Sephiroth seemed to worry, but very endearing.

And that was a little dangerous. He couldn’t afford to get endeared. Sephiroth wasn’t Zack, for all that they might have been friends. He was just a client. If he kept forgetting that with people, the way he did with Zack, he was going to get himself into trouble.

Sephiroth wasn’t entirely sure what possessed him to speak, but he found himself saying, “May I see you again?”

Sephiroth blinked in surprise at his own words. Cloud mirrored the movement, but then grinned at him with a strange warmth and humor.

“You don’t have to ask, y’know.”

“You did explain that you could say no. It seemed appropriate.”

“If I was gonna say no, I would have already.”

“You might have changed your mind.”

“I might have. I didn’t. Come by whenever you’d like.”

Sephiroth found himself surprised it was that easy, though he wasn’t sure why.

He turned to leave, but hesitated in the doorway. He turned back to Cloud.

“I would ask you to keep the details of what happened here to yourself. I know Zack will ask. I expect your coworkers will as well. I’d prefer if they weren’t discussed.”

Cloud crossed his legs and propped his elbow on his knee, his cheek on his knuckles, and gave Sephiroth a shit-eating grin.

“Aw, not even to tell them how huge your dick is?”

Sephiroth blew out that strange laugh of his, and Cloud finally gathered what it was, by the slight uptick of his lips.

“Perhaps that, but only that.”

Cloud laughed brightly, but flicked Sephiroth the laziest, most improper salute he’d ever seen with two fingers.

“Yes, sir.”

Sephiroth nodded and left, the door swinging shut behind him.

Neither one knew how the other sighed just as deeply on the opposite side of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Sephiroth had been right in his estimation. People _did_ want to know what it was like to take the General to bed.

“Come _on_,” Yuffie whined. “Give us _something_.”

They were sitting around in one of the Safeguard common areas. There were multiple on the floor, including a cafeteria and one filled with couches and lounge chairs. This one had a smattering of tables and a sofa or two, but was usually left empty because there was less seating available and no televisions. These were spaces designated for the Safeguards themselves, where they wouldn’t feel like they had to work.

“He wants it private,” Cloud said, a laugh in his voice. “You know that’s his right.”

“I mean, yeah, but what’s a little gossip between Safeguards? Whisper it to me, Tifa and Vincent won’t snitch.”

Tifa rolled her eyes and Vincent just blinked slowly, but Cloud huffed a laugh outright this time. He reached out and flicked her in the forehead.

“_No_. I was only given permission to say one thing about it.”

Yuffie had been rubbing her forehead with a frown, but gasped in delight, slapping her hands to the table.

“_Tell me_.”

“Y’know how he’s ‘round about as tall as the Tower?”

“Sure. You must have looked like an idiot standing next to him.”

“You want me to tell you or not?”

“_Fine_, fine, go on.”

“He’s at _least_ proportionate.”

“… You don’t mean…?”

“I do. My ass _still_ hurts,” Cloud lied—the Cure took care of that, but it was funnier this way. “I don’t know where the hell he puts it in that leather get-up of his.”

“PHS,” Yuffie demanded, holding her hand out.

Cloud looked curious at the turn of events, but fished the device out of his pocket and handed it over. He was one of the few Safeguards with one. Vincent was one of the others, though his model was wildly outdated, and Cloud was surprised it still worked.

The four of them huddled together, with Tifa and Cloud peeking over Yuffie’s shoulder at the PHS, and Vincent leaning a little in his chair to look without actually seeming like he was. Yuffie pulled up a picture of Sephiroth and zoomed in on his crotch, but the quality wasn’t great. They cycled through photo after photo, but the angles were wrong, or his coat was in the way, or the image was grainy, and they just _couldn’t_ see if he actually had a monstrous bulge and none of them had noticed all this time. Cloud did suspect that Sephiroth’s next visit would include a lot of people trying to glance at his dick, once word got around.

“What’re we looking at?”

Cloud didn’t bother looking up, just waved Zack over.

“We’re trying to find where Sephiroth hides his huge dick, but these photos suck.”

Cloud could hear Zack hide a laugh poorly in a cough as he approached. Zack, strictly speaking, wasn’t supposed to be in this sort of area. It _was_ a Safeguard space. But Zack was friends with plenty of Safeguards, including security and reception, so he tended to get a pass to wander as he wanted.

He slung an arm over Cloud’s shoulder when he was close enough, leaning in to see a close up of Sephiroth’s crotch, very much blurred from the poor quality and movement when the photo was taken.

“That is shit. Let’s see if I’ve got anything of him,” Zack volunteered, pulling out his own PHS and flipping through his photos. The group turned on a dime, Yuffie standing on her chair to peer over Zack’s shoulder, Tifa leaning around Cloud, and Zack carefully angling the device to Vincent could still see.

Zack’s photos were full of the reaction images he tended to send to Cloud, the occasional selfie, and a lot of landscape shots that he explained were for Angeal, who liked to see where his friends travelled to on their missions, even if he’d already been to most of those places himself. There was a handful of photos of the Firsts and Seconds with the rare Third in the mix, but none of the shots that included Sephiroth provided the photographic evidence they were looking for.

“Damn,” he said, pocketing the device. “Sorry I can’t help. Why were you trying to see the size of what he’s packing anyway?”

“Cloud says he’s hung, but we all know how tight his pants are,” Tifa explained. “I don’t think we could’ve missed it if he was walking around with a huge bulge all the time, but I don’t see why Cloud would make that up.”

They all turned to eye him, even and especially Zack, who looked bewildered.

“Why do you know how big he is?”

“He came to visit. I thought you knew?”

“What! No, he didn’t tell me!”

(Sephiroth had been in a smug state of amusement since he returned from Cloud’s. He’d deliberately skipped informing Zack, despite knowing that he would find out eventually. It was half because it would be less time Zack would hound him about it, and half because he could imagine the stricken look on his face when he realized how long he _could_ have been hounding Sephiroth about it.)

Zack, admittedly, looked stricken.

Cloud laughed outright at the expression.

“Weren’t you trying to talk him into it anyway? Why do you look upset?”

“Because if I had _known_ I would have been pestering him about it!” Then he paused and gave Cloud a calculating look. “Though, I could pester _you_ about it.”

“Don’t waste your breath,” Yuffie said, propping her hands on her hips. “He’s sworn to secrecy about everything but the dick size.”

“We’ll see about that,” Zack said, picking Cloud up and tossing him over one shoulder. Cloud just sighed, long used to this treatment, and waved goodbye to his friends.

It was a testament to how often Zack toted Cloud around like a sack of potatoes that security, reception, _and_ the other Safeguards didn’t even blink at it as they made their way to Cloud’s room.

When they were inside, Zack tossed Cloud onto the bed, where he laughed as he bounced on the mattress. There was only a brief beat before Zack was sitting next to him.

“So? _Spill_.”

“No way, Zack,” Cloud said, shoving him gently, but with a hand to his face. “He asked me not to.”

“But he really said it was okay to say he was hung?”

“Well, I asked him if I could, and he agreed. It was mostly my idea, but I figure people should get a warning.”

“A warning? Why would anyone need that?”

“In case he sees a different Safeguard? In case he approaches _you_, since apparently he usually goes for SOLDIERs instead anyway?”

“Wait, what? _Me?_”

“Uh, yeah, Zack. Aren’t you friends?”

Zack blinked at him, but still looked baffled.

“Yeah?”

Cloud propped his chin in his hand.

“I don’t _think_ it’s out of lines for me to say it, but, I think it’s kinda a trust thing for him, y’know? He needs to know you’re not going to treat him like a demon or an idol. He knows you don’t do those things. Frankly, I’m surprised he hasn’t made a pass already.”

Zack shook his head, saying, “There has to be something else, man. I know he sleeps with the Seconds sometimes, but I don’t think he goes to bed with friends. You can always tell which Second he’s brought to bed because they trail after him like a duckling and make these heart eyes at him. That’s why I was trying to send him your way. You’re not gonna get all goo-goo for him, y’know?”

Cloud snorted and said, “I’d be pretty bad at my job if I did.”

“Right. I think the falling-for-him thing is a bigger issue.”

“But his friends aren’t gonna do that, right? Maybe he’s slept with Genesis and Angeal. Maybe he was just waiting on you. You _are_ kinda new as a First.”

Zack look thoughtful, but then shook his head.

“I don’t think that’s it. I mean, Sephiroth and Genesis? That’d be more of a catfight than anything else. Fur flying and everything.”

Cloud laughed and said, “They’d probably wreck the room they’re in.”

Zack grinned, “_Now_ I know why they ruin so many VR Rooms. And here Genesis says it’s the materia.”

(They were more correct than they knew.)

“I’m still not convinced they’re not in bed together,” Cloud said in a hum, before pointing a finger at Zack. “Y’know what I bet it is? All three of ‘em. Angeal’s there to mitigate. No catfights when there’s a referee.”

(Which was something Genesis was still trying to figure out how to put into motion.)

Zack rubbed at one cheek in thought.

“It _could_ work. But wouldn’t that be a lot of work for Angeal?”

“Eh, doesn’t he wrangle them all the time? At least in this scenario, he gets to fuck them after.”

Zack shrugged and said, “Fair point, it’s good incentive. That’s why I wrangle you.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow at him.

“Excuse me? _Who_ does the wrangling?”

“Me, obviously. You _were_ just tossed over my shoulder.”

“And people call _me_ a brat.”

Before Zack could answer, Cloud rose up on one knee for just enough leverage to tackle him off the bed. There was a resounding _thump_ as they hit the floor, the breath getting knocked out of Zack in the process, and in the moment before he could get it back, Cloud had him pinned.

“Ha,” he said, looking smugly down at Zack.

Who just gave him a wolfish grin and broke the hold, flipping them over and pinning Cloud instead.

“_Ha_,” Zack parroted.

Cloud stuck his tongue out briefly before beginning to try and wrestle his way out of the hold. He managed, and it devolved into scrabbling on the floor together, which wasn’t exactly uncommon between them. The conclusion was foregone, because, while Cloud was enhanced as well, he was missing the SOLDIER training and everything he knew about grappling he had gotten from Zack himself.

It wasn’t something Cloud did with the other SOLDIERs. Even the ones he was friendly with, he didn’t rough-house with them. It wasn’t exactly sexy, and that _was_ his job. Yet, somehow, it always ended the same, and Cloud was never quite sure how things led where they landed. Him pinned to the floor—that he understood. The fact that they were both straining at the confines of their pants from laughing and rolling around and putting each other in increasingly sloppy holds? That he would never get.

But the fact of the matter was, Cloud was there with Zack sitting atop his hips, his hands held down above his head. They were both breathing hard, but the grin Zack gave him was triumphant and glorious. He had a way of stealing someone’s breath with a smile like that, and Cloud wasn’t immune.

So instead of letting Zack see his reaction to the smile, he distracted him by rolling his hips up, wiping the grin clear off his face.

“That’s cheating,” Zack accused.

So Cloud repeated the motion.

“Don’t see how it is.”

“You lose when you’re pinned and can’t get out. Teasing your way out doesn’t count.”

“Sure it does. I just need to give you enough incentive to want to put your hands somewhere else.”

Cloud let his eyes drift to a lazy half-mast and bit carefully at his lower lip as he ground himself up against Zack again. He could feel his grip around his wrist tighten just a hair.

“You are the world’s _worst_ tease.”

“I don’t know, I think I might be the best,” he said, proving his point with another roll. “I’m pretty good at it.”

“And people say _I’m_ infuriating.”

“They say that because you run around like a hyperactive puppy slobbering on everyone. They tell _me_ that because I get under people’s skin and won’t apologize for it.”

This time, Zack pressed his hips down, meeting Cloud half-way, and Cloud could barely get that last word out.

“Because you pick fights, or because you’re a snarky little shit, or because you seem to get off on turning people on and seeing if they’ll try to follow through?”

Cloud bat his eyelashes and smiled prettily, but stopped moving his hips.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’ll find out the answer if _you_ follow through.”

“_Tease_.”

Zack finally kissed him to shut him up, and Cloud laughed into it. The sound turned strangled as Zack stroked his tongue over Cloud’s, making him wish that mouth was distinctly somewhere _else_. He distracted Cloud with kissing, until he almost missed the way Zack threaded their fingers together. He _didn’t_ notice, right up until his fingers were settling between Zack’s and tightening, squeezing faintly.

And that was the problem with Zack, and had been for a while now. He seemed to have forgotten how to just fuck and leave. There were these sweet little gestures every now and then—fingers threaded through his, a nose nuzzling behind his ear, a soft kiss to his inner thigh—that just didn’t fit. There were the types who had to act like this wasn’t an exchange for cash, the ones that played pretend, that wanted to chat first and make believe this was a date and that Cloud wasn’t there because he was paid to be. But Zack had never been like that. He was too upfront, too genuine for that kind of thing. Which made Cloud so helplessly _confused_ about all of this.

These were the gestures that kept Cloud up until four in the morning, turning them over from every angle, trying to guess at what was happening. Because the obvious answer was the impossible one. His gut screamed “romance” and Cloud pushed that down deeper and deeper until it drowned. He couldn’t have that with Zack. It wasn’t in the cards. The best he could do was say that maybe Zack was just a little sweet with friends he fucked and leave it at that. Because anything else would get his hopes recklessly high just to be inevitably dashed when he came crashing back down to reality.

That didn’t stop him from squeezing Zack’s hands though.

Zack squeezed back, unconscious of the motion, or the gesture he had initiated in the first place. He was too distracted to be thinking methodically. All he knew was that Cloud was beneath him, making the pretty sounds he always did, and Zack wanted to see him come undone. _That_ was the only goal he had in mind. Anything else could come later.

Especially since Cloud seemed distracted, at the moment. He didn’t know what was going on with his friend, what troubles he had brewing. He hoped it wasn’t Sephiroth, since he had sent him Cloud’s way. But he knew Safeguards had an endless slew of problems—just because they weren’t SOLDIERs didn’t mean their job was easy. Cloud had plenty to worry about, Zack was sure, and he always tried so hard to be the distraction for anyone who came through his door. He’d sure done it for Zack enough times; he’d caught him unfocused and took firm hold of his attention until it couldn’t wander anymore, and it was always such a relief. It was only fair that someone did that for Cloud, sometimes. Zack was no Safeguard, but he was pretty sure he could distract Cloud from whatever was on his mind.

So Zack slid his hand down Cloud’s body and undid his pants, slipping a hand inside and listening to the breathless sound Cloud made.

And it worked—sort of. Cloud didn’t forget his concerns, but it gave him motivation to bury them firmly. He was getting distracted on the job. His focus was supposed to be on _Zack_, on giving Zack everything he could ever ask for. He didn’t let his attention waver again; or at least, not in any way Zack would notice.

Floors above them, Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth were sitting in Sephiroth’s office. Not because the other two did not have their own, and not because they didn’t have more comfortable places to be. They were there because Sephiroth insisted on doing work, and Genesis insisted on bothering him, which meant Angeal needed to be there to mitigate, or they would end up in the VR Room and nothing would get done.

As it was, Genesis was carefully balancing his pen on his fingertip from where he was sitting on Sephiroth’s office couch, his feet propped on the coffee table, crossed at the ankles, with papers in his lap that he was ostensibly “working on.” Angeal sat next to him on the couch and shifted from time to time, not because he was uncomfortable, but because it unbalanced the pen on Genesis’s finger. A part of him was hoping it would just fall and Genesis would get back to work, and another part admittedly found it a little entertaining to watch Genesis try and rebalance it, often times jerking to do so.

Sephiroth ignored them both, including when Genesis piped up. Angeal would indulge him in conversation for a little bit, knowing otherwise he’d find another way to annoy them all into paying attention to him, but he was focused on his work at the moment. Genesis had since devolved into quoting long sections of Loveless, which Sephiroth and Angeal were both adept in tuning out, and had little success in annoying them into doing anything entertaining.

Since it was failing, Genesis opted to switch tact.

“Zack has been quiet about his little Safeguard lately.”

At this, Sephiroth’s pen stilled. It was longer than he intended before he began writing again. Angeal began to speak, but Genesis’s eyes were focused on Sephiroth’s pen now.

“I’m sure he’ll bring it up again soon enough,” Angeal said with a sigh.

“You _know_ something,” Genesis accused Sephiroth, who did not even look up at him.

“I have no idea why Zack hasn’t mentioned the Safeguard.”

“Perhaps not, but you know _something_. And I want to know what it is.”

“We don’t always get what we want.”

“So you’re _admitting_ to knowing something.”

“Nothing of interest.”

“But _something_, when you have no business knowing any more about the Safeguard than we do. Let me decide if it’s of interest.”

Sephiroth paused, but sighed after a long moment of deliberation. Genesis could be like a hound sometimes, when he caught the scent of something interesting. He would not let it go until he had an answer he found satisfactory.

“I went to see him.”

“The _Safeguard?_”

“Cloud, yes.”

“_Cloud_, hmm?”

“That is what I was told was his name.”

“But you don’t see Safeguards,” Angeal interrupted, something that mixed concern and confusion on his face.

“I haven’t before, no. But Zack insisted this one would not have the same attitude civilians usually have toward me.”

“Fear or revere, you mean?” Genesis asked.

“Why didn’t you come to one of us?” Angeal asked, and Sephiroth glanced up, to check if he was hurt by the fact that he _didn’t _turn to them. But he just seemed baffled.

“I suspect it’s the usual reasons,” Genesis breezily answered for Sephiroth. “How dare he come between us, and all that nonsense.”

“Regardless, it seemed to be worth a try,” Sephiroth explained.

“You know that isn’t an issue for us, Sephiroth,” Angeal said, not willing to let the previous matter drop.

Genesis, however, knew that Sephiroth would not follow further down that track, and said, “And was it? Worth it.”

Sephiroth tapped his pen against his desk a few times.

“I suppose. I expect I will go back.”

Genesis finally set down his pen and moved his papers to the coffee table, placing his feet on the floor and leaning forward.

“_Really?_” There was an interested gleam in his eye, which Sephiroth distinctly did not see, because he refused to look up.

“He was… respectful, without being deferent. He certainly did not seem to treat me like I was anyone extraordinary. He didn’t even look up at me when I entered the room until he was done with what he was doing.”

Angeal blinked in surprise and Genesis sat back with a hum.

“That solves your usual civilian problem neatly. But how _was_ he?”

Sephiroth finally looked up, frowning.

“You know I have little interest in re-hashing sexual encounters. I have no interest at all if it is only for your benefit.”

Genesis seemed unperturbed by this slight and said, “This is less a fond recalling and more of you selling me on him.”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed, and he glanced at Angeal, who just looked back at him, bemused.

“Why would you go see him?”

“Because—as you have been told many times, you absolute fool—our relationship is _open_. Neither of us were indulging you simply because you’re _you_.”

“_Or_ just because you’re a friend,” Angeal added.

“Though you do tend to stick to those you know,” Genesis said, glancing to Angeal, who just smiled and shrugged, not bothered by that fact.

Sephiroth returned to his paperwork, determined to ignore the reassurance, now that Genesis seemed distracted with teasing Angeal.

Until he threw his pen at Sephiroth.

It was caught easily out of the air, but Sephiroth still gave him an unimpressed look.

“Are you going to tell me about him or not?” Genesis prodded.

“Why should I?”

“Because if you don’t, I will just have to go see him myself.”

“And how is that my business?” Sephiroth said coolly, raising an eyebrow.

“Hmm. He isn’t good enough for you to feel protective over him, then.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

“If he could handle an encounter with me, I’m sure he’ll manage you without issue.”

Genesis’s lips thinned and his eyebrow quirked up in irritation, and that was Angeal’s cue to interrupt.

“Ooookay, how about Genesis goes to make up his own mind later, and we all go back to our work for the moment?”

“We’ll see if I can’t make him interested enough that he forgets all about you,” Genesis snapped, ignoring Angeal entirely.

“How could he forget? All I have to do is call the Safeguard front desk. I can literally book an appointment. Try as you might, you can’t demand his attention all the time.”

“We’ll see.”

“Even _your_ endurance isn’t that good, and you have work to do, besides. Not to mention, I can always send you to Icicle, if I feel you need to cool down.”

Sephiroth looked smug, and Genesis looked infuriated, which meant Angeal had an incoming headache.

“I’m going to have Zack running laps for days for even bringing up this Safeguard.”

He wouldn’t actually. Zack was very fond of Cloud, and Angeal knew that well enough. He had clearly just been trying to help, besides. It wasn’t his fault that everything tended to get subsumed into Genesis and Sephiroth’s rivalry.

But he’d made the comment quietly, and Genesis was already jumping out of his seat and grabbing Rapier where it sat leaning next to the table. Sephiroth stood shortly after, plucking Masamune from its stand, and maybe Angeal was a little delusional for thinking this wasn’t going to end in a spar.


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you expecting someone?” Yuffie demanded, looking Cloud up and down.

Cloud rolled his eyes and said, “No. But Fridays are busy days, you know that.”

“Still. None of us wear the uniform unless we’re leaving the department. It’s hot and tight and uncomfortable and why the hell are you wearing it?”

“Language,” Vincent chided, watching blankly as Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him.

“I’m out of my clean clothes, alright? I don’t feel like doing laundry, but there’s dozens of these things just lying around,” Cloud admitted, purposefully not looking down at himself.

Cloud, like most Safeguards, hated the uniform. It was a black, skin-tight get up made of leather, a jacket and pants that left nothing to the imagination. Even with the A/C on in the Department, the outfit tended to make one overheat. They weren’t allowed out of the Department unless they were in uniform, mostly because everyone in Shinra had a uniform, down to the secretaries. If you were in casual clothes, you were summarily tossed out the door, unless you bore a visitor’s pass. If a Safeguard wanted to move freely, the uniform was required.

But Safeguards tended to stick to their floor, unless they were leaving the Tower entirely. They had their needs met, here. There was a cafeteria, lounge areas, bedrooms, even a rarely used gym. There was little reason for them to wander around the Tower, and the uniform was such a hassle that few bothered. They all understood that the tight leather was provocative and fitting for their position, but they all hated it, too. It was enough motivation for them to stick to their own floor, where they were free to wear whatever they wanted.

Still, it wasn’t uncommon for clients to request the outfit. It wasn’t just hot in the literal sense, after all. Some liked the idea of uniforms, some just liked the look of all the leather. It wasn’t uncommon to wear it when expecting a first time client, before they got to knew their tastes and could tailor their outfits for the specific client. It was what Cloud would have worn for Sephiroth, if he’d had enough warning to get into the damn thing before he arrived.

“That’s a shitty reason to wear it,” Yuffie decided, folding her arms over her chest.

“_Language_,” Vincent reminded.

“Oh, bite me,” she said, before turning to Cloud. “You’re gonna be a slip-and-slide under that thing in half an hour. You better go do laundry.”

“Can I pay you to do it for me?”

“What do I look like, your maid?” she said, all indignant. There was a pause, where Cloud just raised his eyebrow, before she continued, “How much we talking?”

“100 gil.”

“How much laundry do you _have?_”

“100 gil’s worth. You wanna do it?”

“No, but I could use 100 gil,” she said, sighing deeply.

“Excellent,” he said with a grin, before hopping up and leading her back toward his room.

They got as far as his closet before the intercom in his room chirped, announcing a walk-in customer.

“Shit. Come back for it later.”

“I might change my mind by then.”

“Then I’ll do it myself or keep wearing the stupid uniform. Get out of here before whoever it is shows up.”

Yuffie sighed, but turned and headed for the door. Cloud followed in her footsteps, and she opened the door, just to see Genesis Rhapsodos on the other side, his hand outstretched for the knob. He looked between Yuffie and Cloud and raised an eyebrow.

“I won’t be paying for two.”

“You don’t pay anything, Shinra foots the bill. And she was just on her way out.”

Genesis stepped to one side to let her pass, and Yuffie ducked around him, mouthing, “Good luck,” to Cloud as she fled. Cloud took a step back and held the door open for Genesis, gesturing him inside. Genesis entered and, hands held loosely behind his back, began inspecting the room.

“So. This a thing, now? Firsts showing up at my door unannounced?”

“Would it be a problem if it was?”

“I know your schedules are hectic, but you _can_ call and schedule. It makes everything easier for both of us.”

“I don’t know. I like the idea of keeping you on your toes,” Genesis said, slanting a look at Cloud, who looked thoroughly unimpressed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Just because Sephiroth does something, doesn’t mean you need to do it too.”

Genesis’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. Sephiroth had been right; Cloud seemed wholly irreverent of them.

“I have no idea what you’re trying to imply.”

“Oh yeah? You don’t, huh?”

“I’ll have you know that Sephiroth told me nothing of his encounter with you. Any similarities are coincidences.”

And didn’t it grate that they both did the same thing, however unintentional.

Cloud looked him up and down, unconvinced.

“I think I believe you. But I want to say right now, I have no intention of being caught in the middle of your little feud. You two start trying to use me to get at one another, and I’ll blacklist you both, got it?”

“Zack needs to learn discretion.”

“Oh, please. The entire Tower knows about the weird thing you and Sephiroth have going. The only thing up for debate is whether or not you’re in bed together. Which, if you want to tell me, it would settle some bets, and I’d owe you one.”

At this, Genesis’s temper soothed. He looked faintly amused instead.

“While I like the idea of you in my debt, I dislike having my personal business spread around.”

“How about I keep it among the Safeguards? We know how to keep secrets.”

“I imagine you do, but I’ll have to decline.”

“Can _I_ know, then? For my own curiosity.”

Genesis hummed and changed the angle of his path, making his way toward Cloud.

“And what would you give me, in exchange?”

Cloud met him halfway. He pressed up against Genesis and curled his fingers into the soft leather of his red coat, tugging himself closer.

“Anything you’d like.”

“Tempting as the offer is, I imagine that, as far as the bedroom goes, you owe me whatever I’d like anyway.”

Cloud hummed and said, “Then, how about I tell you who keeps moving everything in Sephiroth’s office one inch to the left? It’s been driving him up the wall, and you must be curious.”

“It’s Zack, of course. Especially if you know the answer.”

“You wanna bet on that?”

“If it isn’t, and Zack told you, it must be Angeal, then.”

“Mm, but you’ll never know which. Not unless you tell me if you take Sephiroth to bed.”

Genesis looked at him, long and considering. This wasn’t what he’d been expecting from the Safeguard. A little irreverence, a lot of flirting, even more desperation to please. And there was some flirting happening here, and a smidge of irreverence, but mostly, Cloud was treating them like they were equals. Normally, he would call anyone who wasn’t a First presumptuous for doing that, and Safeguards were widely regarded as the bottom of Shinra’s food chain, given that they were obligated to serve any worker that came through their door, unless they chose to ban that particular person. But there was something charming in the way Cloud didn’t give ground, in his easy confidence that he was Genesis’s equal in every way that actually mattered. He imagined that, if he requested total subservience and obedience, Cloud’s attitude would change on a dime, but he liked things as they were going.

“Yes, Sephiroth and I have gone to bed together. Who’s been moving his things?”

“Angeal, but Zack watches the door for him. Who tops?”

Genesis tutted at him and said, “You’re out of things to trade, dear.”

Cloud reached down between them and cupped Genesis’s length, working it through the rough fabric of his combats.

“I’m sure we could work out an agreeable trade.”

“Not in favors you were going to give me anyway.”

Cloud pouted, and Genesis froze on the spot. It was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen, and he wasn’t one who went in for cute. He liked striking, and bold, and roughness, physical and verbal. He didn’t like _cute_. But from someone who talked back, who had the spine to argue with him, it was unexpected, and he _did_ like that. Cloud was incredibly soft in this moment, all wide blue eyes and full, pouty lips. His eyes were pleading, and his head tilted ever so slightly to the side as his brows furrowed in what could almost have been desperation, and dear Gaia, he was getting taken in by this absurd act, wasn’t he?

Genesis frowned and reached up, pressing his thumb to Cloud’s bottom lip. His goal was to stop the pout, but Cloud let his mouth part, and swiped his tongue out to taste the leather of his glove. He could feel himself start to harden in Cloud’s hand, which squeezed softly in time with the flick of his tongue.

“You truly aren’t used to being denied things, are you?” Genesis said, eyes narrowing.

A honey-sweet smile took over Cloud’s face as he said, “Nope. Are you?”

He wanted to be irritated by how unrepentant Cloud was, but he found himself charmed instead. He was even laughing at his question before he said, “Hardly.”

“How about a bet, instead, then? If I can get you to come first, you tell me who tops.”

“And if you come first?”

“I’ll tell you the great secret I learned about Sephiroth’s dick.”

The secret was that there were no good photos of it available online or through Zack. It wasn’t information of equal worth, but Genesis didn’t need to know that. If Cloud had his way, he wouldn’t even find out what the “secret” was, anyway.

“I can’t imagine you know more about it than I do.”

“Then don’t take the bet. What will it be?”

Genesis paused to consider. As he did, Cloud carefully lowered his zipper to palm him through just his underwear instead. It made Genesis’s thoughts slow, as if they were sticky with molasses, but eventually he nodded.

“Deal.”

“Perfect. Any rules I should know about? Any items I should grab?”

Genesis hummed in thought, tracing his thumb over Cloud’s lips. He pulled the digit into his mouth and began to suck at it, and that was more distracting than it had any right to be.

“Stop if I tell you to, and I expect you to tell me if you need the same. Grab a set of handcuffs and undress.”

“Sir, yes sir,” Cloud purred, pressing one final kiss to Genesis’s thumb before withdrawing his hand and stepping away.

Genesis watched with interest as Cloud unzipped the uniform jacket as he went, dropping it to the floor carelessly. He could hear him lower the zipper of his pants as he reached an armoire, and his interest spiked as Cloud bent at the waist to tug the pants and underwear down his legs, his ass on full, glorious display. Cloud peeked up at him from where he was bent over, managing a sultry look and a smug smile before tugging the garment off his heels and kicking it to the side. He was fully undressed, now, as he opened the armoire and dug around inside, opening and closing drawers. Genesis thought it was intentional that he kept bending over to look for the handcuffs, presenting his ass as he did so. Genesis was gratified to find out, as Cloud turned around with the cuffs in hand, that he was not the only one affected so far.

Cloud approached and pressed the cuffs into Genesis’s hands, saying, “Would you like to do the honors?”

“I would love to,” Genesis said, catching Cloud’s chin with his free hand. He dipped his head to capture his mouth, and Cloud gave a breathy sigh into the contact, his mouth parting for Genesis to sweep inside. He kissed him deep, and thoroughly, in a way that would have claimed, if there was any way he could have staked such a thing on a person who could never be his. Cloud stepped closer, pressing them together all over, but especially at the hips. His arms wrapped around Genesis’s neck and he pressed the line of his cock to the bulge in Genesis’s pants, his breath hitching at the friction between them.

Genesis reached down and picked Cloud up, only needing one hand to support his weight; it helped that Cloud readily wrapped his legs around Genesis’s waist to balance himself. Genesis cracked on eye open to see where he was going as he made his way toward the bed, where he only pulled away from Cloud to toss him up by the headboard.

Cloud watched him with eyes that blazed as he slowly, slowly reached up above his head and took hold of the headboard. Genesis made him wait like that as he took his time undressing, finding Cloud’s eyes growing hotter and hotter still as he watched. He knew, objectively, that this was likely an act on Cloud’s part. This was his profession, after all; it was his job to make Genesis feel wanted. But he did it perfectly, because Genesis remembered very few people who had made him feel like they were as desperate for him as Cloud seemed to be in that moment.

Genesis had no way of knowing that little of it was an act. He checked a lot of Cloud’s boxes; pretty, but still firmly masculine, unrepentant, able to break him in half if he so chose, willing to call Cloud on his shit, he could go on. The fact that he hadn’t had to touch himself at all to get hard, and he was already aching, said something about his attraction to Genesis. The man himself had no way of knowing just how genuine Cloud was being, but then again, it was probably best he didn’t know. Wouldn’t want it going to his head.

Genesis, when he was fully undressed, made his way up the bed. He paused when he reached Cloud to slowly part his legs, spreading them as wide as they would go. He paused to kiss the inside of his thigh, licking a long stripe along it before nipping sharply in a way that knocked the breath out of him. Genesis shot him a mischievous look that said that had been what he intended as he sat up and reached above Cloud.

He looped the cuffs through the bars of the headboard and then tightened them around Cloud’s wrists. They were metal, and would cut into the skin if he was too rough, or if Cloud pulled too hard. But Genesis absolutely did not believe that Cloud didn’t have a set of padded handcuffs, or even fuzzy ones at his disposal. Genesis hadn’t told him what kind of cuff to get, which meant Cloud had either chosen what he wanted, or what he believed Genesis would want. Genesis chose to believe it was the former and decided that, if Cloud’s wrists came out of this in poor shape, he would handle it later.

(Those were the cuffs Cloud liked best. He made the, albeit correct, assumption that Genesis wouldn’t be turned off if they bit into his skin, or that if he would, he would have protested when Cloud brought out that set.)

“Too tight?” Genesis asked, glancing down at Cloud, who tugged briefly on the handcuffs. They wouldn’t actually hold him if he really wanted to be free, enhanced as he was, but it was a fun game nonetheless.

“Just right,” Cloud said, turning his face up. Genesis reacted on instinct, pressing the kiss Cloud had been looking for to his lips, as if they were long lovers—and that was odd. Genesis took many people to bed, but it was never quite this _easy_. There was no awkwardness, no hesitation, no frantic need to make sure things weren’t going wrong. Cloud did this often—if something was wrong, he would speak up. Genesis found that, strangely enough, it wasn’t that he wasn’t worried about Cloud, or that he thought Cloud could take whatever he could give; he trusted him not to let him go too far. He chalked it up to Cloud being a professional who knew what he was doing, and refused to believe that he might trust Cloud, even a little, even just with this, after their brief conversation.

As they pulled away from the kiss, Cloud tugged at Genesis’s bottom lip, letting his teeth clack together when he was out of reach. He licked his lips and watched Genesis with half-lidded eyes.

Genesis lowered his head to mouth at Cloud’s neck, where he began working a mark high, high onto Cloud’s neck, in a place that it would be difficult to hide, even with the uniform’s collar. He understood that hickeys were likely common in the Safeguard Department. He understood that this wasn’t the claim it would be in another circumstance, but part of him ached to leave his mark. He wasn’t sure _why_ he ached to make Cloud his in any way he could, but he knew that he did. If it took covering Cloud in bruises to let the world know he was claimed, Genesis would take the time to do it. He didn’t like this fact. He wasn’t entirely sure what it meant, just that it was something to be considered later. For now, he focused on rolling Cloud’s skin between his teeth, working his mark deeper and deeper onto his throat.

Cloud was making beautiful sounds beneath him; he sounded like a dream. Every now and then, one hand or both reached until their extension was cut off by the cuffs, when Cloud would make throaty sounds of frustration. It took Genesis a while to realize that he kept absent-mindedly trying to touch him, and that renewed Genesis’s fervor, enough that he began making a new mark. They kept at this, Genesis bruising his skin and Cloud aching to do anything in return, until Cloud was wearing a collar of bruises around his throat. When Genesis realized he was out of room, he sat back on his heels, admiring his work.

Cloud’s hair was mussed from the way he kept tossing his head as he writhed in pleasure. His face and chest were flushed a pretty pink, and his mouth was parted as he panted for breath. His rosy erection leaked against his stomach, his legs spread wide to fit Genesis between them. That collar of already-purpling bruises stood out stark against his pale skin, and it looked beautiful on him. Genesis thought, then, that if Zack had a picture of Cloud looking like this, it wouldn’t have taken him _or_ Sephiroth so long to pay a visit.

“I swear, Genesis, if you’re thinking about leaving me like this—”

Genesis reached out and pressed two fingers into his mouth, in part to shut him up, and partially because he looked even better like this. He could feel his own eyes drift to half-mast as he slid his fingers in and out of Cloud’s mouth. The blond obediently sucked on them, his tongue laving over them. Genesis pressed them in deep enough that he expected Cloud to gag, yet he didn’t, and wouldn’t that be an interesting reaction to explore later. Instead, he dragged his fingers out of Cloud’s mouth and down his chin, smearing the saliva there. He reached out with his spare hand as he did so for where he remembered seeing lube on the nightstand. It took a moment of feeling to grab it, and by the time he had it, Cloud’s chin was coated. He looked delectable like this, and the almost lazy, sultry look he gave him said he knew it. Cloud’s eyes cut to the bottle in Genesis’s hands before they slid back to meet his gaze and he bit carefully at his lower lip.

Genesis poured some of the lube onto his fingers, spreading it over them briefly, before he leaned forward to kiss Cloud again. Cloud hummed into it, his tongue lapping at Genesis’s bottom lip, until Genesis pressed a finger inside and Cloud’s breath got caught in his throat. Genesis’s eyes slid open to watch his face twist with pleasure before a sigh slipped from his lips. Cloud began kissing him with renewed fervor as Genesis pumped his hand a few times before slipping a second finger inside. It went in easily, and Cloud let out a small whine into Genesis’s mouth. His hands tugged at the cuffs again, longing to touch but unable to reach. He pulled a few times fruitlessly in his frustration, the handcuffs wearing at his skin, but he could hardly care less. He just wanted to _touch_—to grab Genesis by the hair and pull him closer, to reach between his legs and make him feel as good as Cloud was, to wrap his arms around him just for something to hold onto. He gripped the bars of the headboard instead, and they were a poor substitute.

Genesis felt around, adjusting his angle minutely, until he felt Cloud go tense under him, the breath knocked from his lungs. He grinned down at him and began stroking that spot, watching as Cloud tossed his head back and moaned, his legs coming up to squeeze Genesis’s hips. His hips began to twitch, pressing up into the air with no way to find the relief he was seeking. His stomach was slick with precome at this point, and gods, he _ached_.

“Please, Genesis, I need—_ah!_”

Genesis interrupted him by pressing a third finger inside, but he did not stop his ministrations.

“Was that what you needed?” he asked in a purr.

“I—_yes_ but _no_, I—I need _you_. Stop trying to cheat on our bet.”

“You never said coming before the actual act didn’t count toward the bet.”

“Because that should have been _obvious_, you absolute _cheat_.”

Cloud began to tug on the handcuffs again.

“I told you, tell me to stop if you need me to. Is that what you need?”

Cloud glared up at him; they didn’t have a safeword, but the principle was the same, and he wasn’t going to tap out over this.

“No, but I’m not going to tell you the secret. This won’t count.”

“Are you trying to renege on our bet?”

“No, I’m trying to stop you from _cheating_.”

“Hmm. Won’t you reconsider?”

“_No_. This doesn’t count.”

Cloud’s legs were starting to tremble, his orgasm building rapidly. There was something predatory in Genesis’s eyes as he watched.

“Maybe I’ll make you come anyway, just for the fun of it.”

Cloud let his head hit the headboard with a groan.

“And they call me a tease.”

“I hardly call getting you off teasing.”

“It’s the spirit of the thiiiiiing—oh _gods_.”

Cloud all but choked on the moan in his throat as Genesis pressed harder to that spot inside him. He stroked roughly once, twice, three more times, and Cloud’s body tensed, but Genesis’s free hand came to close hard around the base of Cloud’s cock, cutting off his orgasm. He pulled his fingers free from inside him and waited until he was certain the moment had passed before withdrawing his other hand, running them up and down Cloud’s thighs instead.

Cloud cursed as he slumped, boneless, back against the bed. He angled a hard look up at Genesis, who smiled smugly down at him.

“Luckily for you, I _am_ a tease,” Genesis said, leaning down to press a slow kiss to Cloud’s mouth. “How could I resist getting you so close, just to deny you?”

“Lucky me,” Cloud grumbled.

“You’re still in the running for our bet.”

“I told you, I wasn’t going to count that one anyway.”

“I would have, though. I’m sure I could have found a way to wring the answer out of you. Perhaps make you come, over and over again, until it’s entirely too much, and you tell me just to make me stop?”

Cloud looked up at him, and neither of them could have said if his expression was one of dread or anticipation.

“You know, people usually come here to get off _themselves_, not just get me off.”

That was at least half a lie. He had plenty of clients whose primary interest was watching him orgasm. But they _were_ still a minority.

“Clearly they’re missing out.”

“You haven’t even seen me come yet.”

“Perhaps not, but what I’ve seen so far promises that it will be glorious.”

Cloud huffed, but kicked Genesis in the back with his heel.

“C’mon, before you waste all your build up and win the bet for me.”

“Someone is just greedy for an orgasm.”

“And _someone_ is taking too damn long, hurry it up.”

Genesis chuckled, but grabbed the lube to slick himself. He tossed the bottle to the side again and glanced up at Cloud, checking if he was ready; he won an eye-roll for his trouble. He got the feeling that, had Cloud’s hands been free, he would have reached down to try and pull Genesis inside himself. As it wasn’t an option, he kicked Genesis in the back again, instead.

Genesis rolled his own eyes, but it was more fond than irritated, and he lost even pretending at irritation when he pressed inside Cloud. He blew out a slow breath and held still, waiting for Cloud to adjust, but Gaia, he was _tight_. The wet heat around him felt so _perfect_ and, oh, yes, he was in danger of losing their bet, wasn’t he?

Cloud tightened around him and Genesis moaned outright, his hips twitching forward without his consent. It was Cloud’s turn to curse, but he wrapped his legs around Genesis’s hips and encouraged him in deeper, so he took it as consent to begin moving.

Genesis’s thrusts were slow and deep, almost teasing, until every now and then, he’d jerk his hips forward the last inch, slapping their hips together. Every time he did, it shocked a moan right out of Cloud, who was alternating between tugging at the handcuffs and gripping at the bars. His wrists were raw at that point, but he didn’t even seem to notice. That did something to Genesis, to know how much Cloud wanted to touch him in return.

He hadn’t picked the handcuffs because he was afraid of intimacy, the way Sephiroth might have. He wouldn’t have minded Cloud’s touch—in fact, he was already looking forward to their next time, where he wouldn’t include the cuffs. It wasn’t out of some misguided need for control, either. It was mostly because Genesis was an unfair bastard at the best of times.

The cuffs were a handicap. He wanted to force Cloud to perform at less than his full capability, so he could judge him, and find him wanting. He hadn’t wanted to be impressed, or charmed, or endeared. He wanted to come down here, see the darling that had caught both Zack and Sephiroth’s eye, and dismiss him entirely. He had been dead certain he wasn’t worth the hype, that when put to the test, he would be easy to find fault in. And if he was hedging his bets with the handcuffs, not even really giving Cloud a fair shot to prove himself, well no one would know, and his own shaky morals didn’t demand that he give him a fair chance.

But he _was_ all the things he said he wouldn’t be: impressed and charmed and endeared. He liked that Cloud wasn’t cowed by him. He liked that, despite what anyone else might think, Cloud stepped up to him as an equal. He liked the way that everything about him was contrary, the way he was hard and soft, not only in turns, but occasionally at the same time. He liked that he was as unapologetic as Genesis himself was, that he seemed to have no shame in his occupation, and that he wasn’t so serious that he couldn’t place slightly ridiculous bets to sate his own curiosity.

He would never admit to liking these things, but he liked all of them and more.

Cloud leaned up and nipped sharply at his bottom lip, dragging him out from where he had gotten bogged down in thoughts he had promised himself he would only turn to when he returned home. He blinked in surprise, that he had let himself get distracted, and then Cloud clamped down on him, and he cursed fervently under his breath. He renewed his efforts, this time fucking Cloud hard, hard enough that he was outright _loud_.

Was he putting on a bit of a show? Yes, absolutely. But it had taken him longer than he was proud of to realize that Genesis had been drifting away, he was so caught up in the pleasure, and he was irritated with himself for that. It was his job to be a distraction, to grab and keep his client’s attention at all costs. It may have taken him too long to realize he needed to be putting in more effort, but he refused to slack now. He made the prettiest sounds he knew how, tightening himself around Genesis in a rhythmic way that he could feel from his thrusts was dragging Genesis closer to the edge. This wasn’t about the bet, anymore. It was about doing his job well. It was about being exactly what Genesis needed him to be in that moment, the art of performance, of offering up what was desired on a silver platter. Cloud had as many clients as he did because he took pride in his work, in doing not only everything a client could ask for, but the things they didn’t even consider requesting. He would be everything Genesis needed him to be in that moment.

And he was. The picture he made, debauched beneath Genesis, was doing unspeakable things to him. He looked perfect—hair disheveled against the pillows, wrists raw from the ache to touch Genesis, flushed a pretty pink everywhere that counted, eyes hazy with lust. He sounded even better, from pitch to sound level to the rare curse or fervent utterance of Genesis’s name. He was like a dream. He was everything Genesis, as used to Angeal’s rugged masculinity as he was, hadn’t remember he wanted. But he _had_ wanted everything Cloud was offering—and wanted it terribly, by the way he was speeding towards climax.

He wasn’t even thinking of the bet when he reached between them to begin stroking Cloud; he was thinking only that he wanted Cloud with him, wanted to see him come undone, wanted to give him the same pleasure he was receiving. Cloud let out a wordless keen, his eyes rolling back and shut as he thrust himself up into Genesis’s hand.

“_Gods_, Genesis, I—_fuck_, please, _please, Genesis_!” His begging broke off into a high cry, and he looked so perfect, writhing beneath him on the sheets, trembling all over, that Genesis broke, coming deep inside him.

He hadn’t intended on stopping, but when he came down from his high, it was to see Cloud watching him with a hungry look in his eye.

“I swear, I could come just from watching you,” Cloud muttered, and that was all the reminder Genesis needed that Cloud _hadn’t_, in fact, come yet.

He slipped out slowly, Cloud whining at the loss, but quickly moved down Cloud’s body to take him into his mouth. He swallowed him down in one quick motion, the feeling so overwhelming that his hips jerked up without his consent, choking Genesis for a moment before he pressed his hips back against the mattress. He began using every trick he had, the time for teasing long since passed. He looked up to see Cloud watching him, and gave him the sultriest look he could manage with his mouth full of cock. It seemed to work, because Cloud cursed, his head falling back.

Cloud devolved into a litany of Genesis’s name; sometimes a whisper, sometimes a yell. When he eventually came, it was straight down Genesis’s throat, with a shout to accompany it. Genesis stilled, trying to split his focus between swallowing down what came and watching the look of bliss come over Cloud’s face.

Cloud slumped back against the bed, his wrists hanging limply in the cuffs. Genesis pulled off of him with a wet pop and scooted up so he could thumb the latch on the cuffs, freeing Cloud’s hands. Cloud fought down the urge to rub his sore wrists, because he wasn’t sure if Genesis was like Sephiroth, and would worry over a few little injuries.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have considered it at all, as, the second he caught his breath, Genesis was pulling his wrist forward to examine it, his grip carefully around his forearm so as to not make things worse. He took careful stock of the injuries, turning each wrist over in his hands, working in silence. Eventually, he set Cloud’s hands down, and looked at him carefully.

“I want to Cure these for you, but I don’t want to remove the bruises, and those will go with spell. But what I want matters little. Do you want a Cure?”

Cloud looked at him oddly. What Genesis wanted was what mattered; he was the client. That was how this worked. Genesis expressed a desire, however fleeting, and Cloud tried to fulfill it if he was able, as long as it didn’t cross any boundaries. Cloud liked the rawness of his wrists, as much as he liked the hickeys, and would have wanted to keep them regardless. But even if he didn’t, after Genesis admitted that he wanted the marks to stay, there was no way he would do anything else. He couldn’t have Genesis following in Sephiroth’s footsteps and being worried for his wellbeing.

“I’m fine, Genesis. I’m the one that picked those cuffs, remember?”

“So you do have padded ones?”

“And fuzzy pink ones, if you prefer those, instead. But I like the metal.”

“And you like the way they leave you stinging.”

“Yes.”

Genesis nodded his understanding and let his worry go, content in his confidence that, if Cloud wanted the Cure, he would have said as much. He had no way of knowing he was distinctly wrong.

“You know what this means, though.”

“What’s that?”

“You lost the bet. Who tops?”

Genesis let out a lengthy sigh before admitting, “It depends.”

“On?”

“Whoever wins.”

Cloud blinked, then laughed outright, and Genesis found himself charmed all over again. The sound tinkled like bells, and Genesis found himself bewildered yet again, because this still wasn’t the sort of thing he was usually interested in. But when it came in the confusing package that was Cloud? Maybe his tastes could change.

“Is _everything_ a fight with you two?”

“We _are_ rivals.”

“You can be rivals, and not fuck like you hate each other.”

“We don’t hate each other.”

“You act like it, and apparently you fuck like it.”

Genesis frowned, and realized in that moment that this was why Sephiroth came to him more than he came to Angeal, despite the fact that they were both in the relationship he hated “interrupting.” He was convinced that there was nothing brewing between them, nothing that could be misconstrued as romantic, and Genesis was well familiar with the way Angeal was tender in bed. He thought he had been indulging Sephiroth’s fantasies as much as his own, that they both understood they could have fiery sex while also being intimate. He didn’t realize that Sephiroth was using it to keep a wall between them.

That would have to change.

Genesis surged forward and planted a kiss on Cloud’s lips.

“I owe you,” he told the Safeguard, who looked at him, puzzled.

“Did I say something important?”

“I think you might have.”

Cloud shrugged and said, “I hope whatever it was helps.”

“I expect it will. There will be growing pains in the interim, but it will.”

Genesis stood and began redressing as Cloud watched, still sprawled against the bed, apparently having little interest in moving.

“Will you come back?” Cloud asked, and Genesis looked up at him. He wanted to say that Cloud was interested in seeing him, but his expression was carefully blank. He was probably just interested in knowing who his clients would be. Genesis resumed dressing. He didn’t know that Cloud was struggling to admit, even to himself, that he wanted Genesis to return.

“I expect I will.” And wasn’t that the strangest turn of events.

“Then I’ll tell you what I told Sephiroth; call first, so I’ll expect you. You’re lucky I was already in uniform today, or you probably would have caught me in a tee-shirt and jeans.”

Genesis looked at him curiously as he said, “Do you not normally wear the uniform? All the Safeguards I see in the Tower wear it.”

“’Course not, it’s hot as hell in that thing. We have to wear it if we leave the floor, but if we’re staying here, we can wear whatever. I prefer _not_ sweating to death.”

Genesis hummed, slipping on his jacket and tugging his gloves into place. He walked around to the side of the bed, where he tilted Cloud’s chin up with two fingers to press a final kiss to his lips.

“I will call next time, then. But you don’t have to wear the uniform, if you dislike it. Be comfortable.”

Cloud thought, privately, that there was no way he was going to dress casually. He’d be in the uniform, and if Genesis didn’t like it, he could protest then.

“Call early in the morning, if you can. There will be more timeslots open that way.”

“Are you busy often?”

“Not all day, but a lot of it.”

Genesis hummed and said, “I’m surprised you bother getting dressed in between, then.”

Cloud chuckled.

“Most people don’t like thinking about the other clients I have.”

And at the reminder, Genesis felt something flare in his chest, something that felt strangely like jealousy. Only that couldn’t be right, because Cloud wasn’t his, and could never be.

He squashed the strange whatever-it-was and pressed another kiss to Cloud’s mouth, determined that one would actually be the last.

Instead of addressing what Cloud told him, he said, “Early in the morning, then.”

Cloud, who kept careful tally of his clients’ likes and dislikes, noted that Genesis, also, did not like thinking about his other clients. He resolved not to talk about them in front of him.

He sat upright and smiled brightly at Genesis as he stepped away.

“Try not to get in too many fights with Sephiroth until I see you next.”

“He’s the one who should have such hopes,” Genesis said with a snort. “Until next time, Cloud.”

“See you later.”

Genesis swept out the door, and Cloud watched it shut behind him. He pressed a careful hand to his chest, feeling his heart race and pound beneath his palm. He didn’t understand why it was still beating so hard; he’d caught his breath by now. He didn’t understand why so much of him ached to give Genesis everything he could ever dream of—except, that was his job, right? That must be it. He wrote it off, and climbed out of bed to clean up and redress himself. He resolved not to look at it too closely, and to instead consider his huge pile of laundry, and whether or not he could still get Yuffie to take care of it.


	5. Chapter 5

“I’m going to say something I say very rarely. I hope you’re paying close attention.”

Sephiroth took a long, long moment (mostly to be irritating) to finally look up at Genesis. Who, for some reason, didn’t seem to be bothered by how long he took. _That_ was what made him set his pen down and look at him curiously.

“What is it?”

“You were right.”

Sephiroth’s eyebrows both raised.

“Come again?”

“I won’t say it twice; I know you heard me.”

“What am I correct about?”

“Cloud _is_ much more than the average Safeguard.”

Sephiroth hummed, drumming his fingers against the tabletop. He felt a flicker of something in his chest at the notion that Genesis went to visit; he wasn’t sure it was jealousy or a longing to see the two together. Perhaps both; for all that he smothered them, his emotions could be fickle things.

“I take it you enjoyed your visit.”

“Oh, yes, he’s excellent, very good at his job, but that isn’t what convinced me.”

“What was, then?”

“He’s insightful. I don’t think he even gathered what he was implying, but I do have him to thank for my latest revelation.”

At this, Sephiroth sighed. Genesis’s “revelations” tended to be artistic things. Inspiring imagery, prompts for writing. He could admit the red general was a multi-talented man; he drew, painted, wrote both prose and poetry. He just had never been very artistically inclined himself, and dreaded when Genesis got into these moods. He would talk his ear off about something Sephiroth had very little understanding of, and then tended to get irritated at the lack of input. Sephiroth didn’t know why he spoke to him about the arts at all, if he was only going to get annoyed that he wasn’t invested, despite already knowing his interests lie elsewhere.

(It was Genesis’s attempt at sharing something he cared about with some_one_ he cared about, and he disliked the effort falling flat.)

“What is it this time?”

“You, my dear friend, are holding me at arm’s length.”

Sephiroth’s lips turned down. Genesis only called him a “dear friend” when he wanted something or was going to do something Sephiroth didn’t like. And, admittedly, he didn’t like the point he made; because yes, yes he was. He allowed no one too close to him, not even his friends, but he had been sure Genesis knew this. It could hardly count as a revelation. He also disliked talking about it, though.

“And?”

Genesis frowned.

“You’re not even going to try and deny it?”

“Why bother? You must have known this already.”

“I know you keep everyone at a distance, yes, but you are doing so especially with _me_.”

Of course he was. How else was he supposed to stave off the confusing emotions Genesis raised in him? The way he made his heart race and his stomach flip, the way he wanted to protect him despite knowing he could fend for himself, the strange urge to fill his desires, however minute. These weren’t things Sephiroth _did_, and he didn’t like that Genesis was raising these urges in him. Especially because he couldn’t indulge in them. He had an inkling, of what those things meant. But he would not come between Genesis and Angeal; he’d always been very clear about that.

He felt all these things for Angeal too, but it was different, with him. Angeal he kept at a distance literally—he avoided taking him to bed, these days. Genesis he kept away by burying everything under a bonfire. His heart couldn’t stray into dangerous territory if they were at each other’s throats. He used their rivalry to build a wall between them.

“And Cloud told you this?”

“Not in so many words, but he helped me make the connections. And _you_ are deflecting.”

Sephiroth sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What would you like me to say, Genesis? I thought we had an understanding.”

“Of?”

“Of the necessity of said distance.”

Genesis’s eyes sharpened, and Sephiroth dropped his hand just in time to catch it.

“Because you don’t like anyone too close, or because you believe you care too much?”

“Does it matter?”

“_Yes_.”

Sephiroth scoffed and looked away. Genesis rounded his desk, nearly sitting on it as he leaned against it. He reached out and covered one of Sephiroth’s hands with his own, but Sephiroth quickly pulled it away.

“I don’t see the purpose of discussing this.”

“Because you’re running away from me, and I don’t want you to.”

Sephiroth’s eyes cut to Genesis, who raised an eyebrow at him. His lips thinned briefly, before he looked away again.

“It’s both.”

“Sephiroth, you can’t care too much.”

“I can.”

“If this is about Angeal…”

“Of course it’s about Angeal. Do I seem a man inclined not to reach for what I want with no cause?”

Genesis tried again, setting a hand on Sephiroth’s knee. This time, he didn’t find a way to pull away.

“I don’t know what it will take to convince you. You won’t come between Angeal and I.”

Sephiroth looked back to Genesis, his gaze evaluating. There seemed to be something impossible implied, here. It was almost like there was an offer on the table. Only there couldn’t be. Their relationship might be open, but they weren’t looking for what Sephiroth wanted.

“You certainly say that.”

“I very much enjoy what we’ve done, the fight and fire of it. But it doesn’t have to be like that every time. I was inclined to indulge it when I thought it was just your preference, but if you’re hiding behind that, I won’t tolerate it.”

“It’s a good thing, then, that I found a different solution to the problem.”

Genesis frowned and said, “You don’t have to wait until you’re about to boil over to sleep with someone, Sephiroth. You are allowed to indulge simply for the fun of it.”

“It’s a need to be met, that is all.”

“You don’t wait until you’re on the brink of starvation to eat, do you?”

It was Sephiroth’s turn to frown. Genesis’s face softened, his thumb stroking over Sephiroth’s knee, and that was doing something strange to the beat of his heart. The gesture was soft, almost tender, and he hadn’t been aware that Genesis could act this way.

“Let me offer a different solution,” Genesis continued. “You can’t believe you’re coming between Angeal and I if we’re both there.”

“What? You mean, all three of us? Together?”

Amusement stole over Genesis’s face, but it was still strangely soft. Sephiroth wasn’t sure what to do with that, from a man who sniped at him more than anything else.

“Yes, the three of us. I already spoke to Angeal yesterday; he’s interested, as well. I don’t want this wall between us, Sephiroth. Let me show you that we don’t have to butt heads all the time.”

Sephiroth paused, considering for a long moment. It _would_ solve his biggest problem neatly, wouldn’t it? Genesis was right; he couldn’t come between them if they were both there participating. There _was_, however, the issue of intimacy. Genesis was saying outright that he wanted to be closer. He feared that both he and Angeal would take a large step toward Sephiroth with this. Maybe not in the way he wanted, but he got the sense that more than one barrier would come down. And that made him extremely anxious.

He had been alone all his life; that was the only way he understood how to be. It was a little different now, with Angeal and Genesis always reaching out to him, and Zack starting to needle his way closer as well. He wasn’t standing entirely by himself anymore, walled off behind reinforced glass like any other of Hojo’s “subjects,” but he didn’t know what to do without that distance. He was, he could admit to himself, a little afraid of what would happen without it. He was certain he would fumble. He would make some blindingly obvious mistake and then he would drive them away. Was it worth one night of fun, just to lose them later down the line?

He could feel his pause drawing out, but Genesis seemed content to let him take his time.

Now that he thought about it, though, he had proven himself to be anything but infallible in social situations. That was always going to be how things went, wasn’t it? Sooner or later, he’d make a mistake too large, and they wouldn’t forgive him as they had done before. It was inevitable. Perhaps the loss would hurt more if they were closer, but he understood well how to handle pain. It might be worth it, for the memories made in the interim. At least that way, he would have something to hold close when he was abandoned.

Better to get all he could from the time he had, before he lost it all.

Sephiroth nodded slowly, and looked up just in time to see the smile blossom on Genesis’s face. It was warm, strangely, in a way that didn’t blaze. There was no bite to it, no smugness or mocking air, no ferocity. Just simple joy.

Sephiroth hoped Genesis didn’t hear the way his heart skipped a beat.

“We’ll arrange something, when we’re all off next at the same time,” Genesis decided. “Let Angeal and I handle the particulars. I swear, we’ll put these worries of yours to bed. This will be the beginning of something marvelous.”

Genesis reached out and touched Sephiroth’s cheek softly. He wasn’t entirely sure why he flinched away from it—he didn’t expect to be struck, but maybe that was why. He wasn’t very used to soft touches, not from anyone but Angeal, and those he tended to push away as they came. Genesis seemed entirely unperturbed by the wince and just followed the movement, pressing his gloved fingertips to Sephiroth’s skin. He went still, allowing the touch, as Genesis’s fingers brushed over his cheekbone. Strangely enough, he had to fight down the urge to lean into the gesture, now that the contact had been made. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that.

Another smile, feather-down and small, touched Genesis’s lips before he pulled his hand away.

“See if you can do something with our schedules, hmm? And don’t try to stall out of nerves, or I _will_ just ditch whatever you assign me to, if that’s what it takes to make time.”

Sephiroth frowned, saying, “You can’t just skip whatever you’d like.”

“Then you better find us an opening.”

Sephiroth sighed, and Genesis beamed. For the fun of it, and to remind him that not everything had changed, he knocked Sephiroth’s stapler into the wastebasket on his way out.

“Be quick about it!” he called before the door swung shut behind him.

Sephiroth looked between the door and his trash can before sighing heavily, but there was a smile hugging his lips.

At least some things stayed the same.

“Clear my schedule.”

“Cloud, you’re booked solid today.”

“I said clear it.”

“But you have the _Vice President_—”

“Rufus will get over it. Tell him I’ll owe him one if he complains—but only if he really kicks up at a fuss.”

“Cloud, you can’t just—”

“Well I am. It’s in my rights.”

“But—”

“I will pick up his slack,” Vincent said, stepping around the corner where he had apparently been eavesdropping. He looked Cloud up and down, his gaze hard and inspecting. Cloud flashed him a grateful smile.

“See? No problems,” Cloud said to the secretary.

“But he already has his own appointments, he can’t take all of yours.”

“Listen, how many ways do I have to say it? _I don’t care_. Clear my schedule.”

Deciding that was the end of it, Cloud turned and walked back toward his room. It was only a formality, anyway. He could have turned down each client individually, but it was better this way, for everyone involved. No one wasted a trip to the Department, and Cloud wasn’t pestered all day.

Vincent fell into step beside him, but didn’t say a word until they reached Cloud’s door.

“Is there anything I can do?” he said quietly, watching Cloud with a look of understanding as he set his hand on the knob.

Cloud shook his head quietly, keeping his eyes carefully in front of him, and said, “Nah. It’ll pass. Thanks, though.”

Vincent didn’t set his hand on his shoulder as he passed, the way he usually would have. He tended to communicate in little touches with those he was close with, instead of words. Cloud knew the gesture was missing when Vincent slipped passed him, and was grateful to him and frustrated with himself for being obvious in turns.

Cloud went into his room and locked the door behind him before looking around at it. By nature of his job, he kept the space tidy; clients didn’t like seeing evidence of other clients lying around. Cloud knew the sheets were clean, and there were no smells on the air. But it didn’t matter. His skin was crawling.

He went to his wardrobe, carefully avoiding looking at anything work related, and picked out his change of clothes carefully. He picked a sweatshirt that was at least three sizes too big for him that Zack had left behind one day and he just hadn’t given back. He grabbed a pair of jeans that was old and so worn it was soft, torn in multiple places, and stretched loose to fit him comfortably. He grabbed the chocobo print boxers, covered in cartoon birds and speech bubbles that said, “Kweh!” They were a gift from Zack, who had made a joke about his hair when he gave them to him. He carried them into the bathroom before setting them on the counter. On his way, he turned off his PHS and placed it next to the clothes.

His bath was large enough to fit two people, but clients were rarely interested. It had come to be a safe place for Cloud, as clients hardly came into his bathroom. The only person in here often was him. It was as clean as the rest of his room, just in case, but there were little touches he allowed: a print of Mt. Nibel framed on the wall, his toothpaste sitting on the counter. The whole room might have been his, but this was _his_ space. He closed the door behind him to shut himself off from everything else. He began drawing a bath, the water scalding as it poured into the tub. He watched it fill in a daze.

Cloud didn’t mind his job, most days. It wasn’t where he had started, and he was grateful for that. All things considered, he had things pretty good. But it still got to him, on the odd day here and there. He worked every day, for most of the day. It was bound to happen that there would be days where he didn’t _want_ to work; everyone had those. But it was a little different, considering his profession.

Those days, when he wanted nothing more than to be alone, he still had to perform for people. He had to allow touches he didn’t want; in some cases, he had to beg for them. He had to smile and flirt and be someone’s wet dream when just the thought made him feel sick to his stomach. And normally, he could power through it. Did his mind float a little far away from his body when this happened? Yes, yes it did. But his body knew what it was doing, all the right ways to act, how to satisfy the customer. He didn’t need to be fully present to get the job done, and sometimes, it was easier with a little distance.

He knew he didn’t _have_ to push through, on those days. He was salaried; he’d get paid even if he took a day off. Most Safeguards had scheduled days off every week. There were occasional bonuses to those who worked hard, but they were few and far between, and largely not worth the effort of breaking his back. He worked hard because he didn’t know how to do things by half-measures, because he was good at his job, and wasn’t ashamed of it. That didn’t mean he always _liked_ it.

He forced his way through because he took pride in doing his work well. He forced his way through so no one would have to pick up his slack, the way Vincent volunteered to. He did it because he got push-back every time he requested a day off, and because he knew that saying no to certain clients (like Rufus) would be an issue if he did it too many times. He wasn’t sure how, but he was certain that people like Rufus could make his life hell if they didn’t get what they wanted. It was better, all around, to be available all the time. Better all-around to just push through.

But things like this could only be pushed-through so many times. Eventually, it caught up to him. Where the thought of working made him feel physically ill, where his skin crawled, where he felt an endless slew of touches that he hadn’t wanted at the time but allowed anyway, and wanted to relive even less. His chest would feel tight, and he’d have a hard time focusing, and his breath would come shaky and uneven. He swore that, in some of those moments, if there was a way to step out of his skin for just a minute, he would have.

Nothing he found really helped. People told him to focus on his breathing, but then he got wrapped up in things he didn’t want to remember as his mind wandered. People told him to talk to someone about how he felt, but that meant reliving everything, and anyone he would have talked to dealt with the same, and surely they wouldn’t want to hear him bitch about what was old hat for all of them. People told him to sleep it off, but he couldn’t tolerate his bed. They said to try hot drinks, or cold drinks, holding ice, counting off objects he saw by color. None of it worked. The only thing that made it pass was time.

So he waited it out. He went to his bathroom, because it was the safest place from the memories. He took a bath, because the hot water gave him something to focus on. The only issue was, he couldn’t tolerate the thought of being naked. So he climbed into the huge tub with his clothes still on, because no one was around to see how weird it looked, anyway.

And that’s where he was now, the tee-shirt and jeans he had been wearing already floating away from his skin a little in the water, billowing gently with the ripples. Cloud sank down, until the water reached his nose, then he took a deep breath and dunked himself under. He stayed down there as long as he could; it was peaceful, in its way. The sounds of the world dulled, leaving just his heartbeat in his ears, and the soft feeling of the water around him. It burned from how hot it was, yes, but it soothed in the way that mattered.

He repeated this process over and over again, so many times he lost count. Come up for air, catch his breath, pull in one deep one, then go under again, stay there until he needed to breathe again, come back up. Repeat.

He couldn’t have honestly said how long he was in there, holding himself underwater for the brief respite it gave. But by the time the water was cold, he felt calmer. His skin stopped crawling. He didn’t feel any not-there hands on him. He still felt fuzzy at the edges, and his chest was still tight, but it was better. He could work with it. He was left exhausted in the aftermath of what had passed through him, and found he just wanted to sleep, now. The last scraps of what he was feeling would be gone by the time he woke up, he was sure.

He thought that his bed would set him back again, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d gathered all his spare blankets and made a nest. The location depended on how good he felt by the time he left the bath. Sometimes he could manage the room, tucked in a corner, with the armoire pulled away from the wall to make a little tunnel in the corner he could crawl into, blocking off sight of the bed. Sometimes it was in the drained bathtub, where the walls would cradle him with how many blankets he stuffed in there, making him feel cocooned and safe. He thought he could handle the bedroom right now, though.

Before he got a chance to drain the tub, he heard a knock on his door.

Cloud froze in place, looking toward the door of the bathroom. He wasn’t sure who it was. Vincent would have told Tifa and Yuffie to give him space by now, so it couldn’t be them. The front desk would have called his clients to cancel at this point. Maybe one missed the call and showed up anyway? Maybe it was Vincent; sometimes, when this happened, he made him tea despite always being told that he didn’t need help with anything. He’d always knock and leave it outside his door. He hoped that was it.

There was another knock. Not Vincent.

“Cloud?” he heard someone call from the hallway, and the voice was so familiar Cloud cursed, pressing a hand to his eyes.

Zack.

He was sure that, when his friend dropped by, the secretary told him that Cloud took the day off. But Zack also knew Cloud didn’t _take_ days off. He would know something was up, and he would be concerned. He probably didn’t run into Vincent, Tifa, or Yuffie; they would have warned him that Cloud wanted to be alone. They were probably busy at the moment.

He knocked again. Cloud was running out of time to make a decision.

“Just a minute!” he called, trusting Zack’s enhanced hearing would pick it up. He unplugged the bathtub, letting it drain, hoping maybe Zack would hear that too and gather why he was taking a second, even if not all of the circumstances. He stripped out of his wet clothes, carefully keeping his mind on Zack and away from his own nudity (he absolutely avoided looking in the mirror). He tossed the clothes in the sink and yanked on his ratty, comfortable clothes.

He finally made it to the door, which he unlocked and opened to see Zack looking concerned.

And that helped, right now. What he needed earlier, in the thick of it, when he was at his worst, was Vincent’s careful distance. But the thought of a little care, strangely enough, didn’t make him want to crawl out of his skin, the way it would have earlier.

It helped even more that it was _Zack_. For all that Zack was technically a client, Zack felt safe, right now. He knew Zack cared genuinely about him. He thought that Zack would want to help, and he’d always been very respectful of boundaries. He thought that, maybe, this could work.

Zack was looking him over, trying to find some trace of illness. He wasn’t sure what Zack found, but he softened when he looked back at his face.

“Bad brain day?”

Cloud’s knees almost buckled with the relief.

He felt the corners of his mouth twitch him as he gave a little nod. Zack nodded in return.

“I get ‘em too. You want me to stay or go?”

“I… do you want to? Stay, I mean.”

“I want to do whatever will make you feel better. Don’t worry about what I want, right now. You worry about that too much, anyway.”

There was a protest on his lips, that it was his _job_ to do that, but Zack just shook his head.

“You’re not working right now,” he reminded Cloud. “What will help?”

Cloud paused for a moment, before stepping aside, and letting Zack in. They paused, looking at each other. Cloud was at a loss for what to do. He didn’t have people around, when things got like this. His mind was already starting to think about what Zack might be wanting, how to worry him least, how to make the problem as small as it could be. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Can I touch you?”

The smile Cloud gave him was tremulous. It was the one question almost no one ever thought to ask him.

The fact that he thought to ask was what had Cloud nodding.

Zack pulled Cloud into an embrace, tucking his head beneath his chin and holding him close. Cloud clung to him, finding his breath catching in his throat.

He had a strange relationship with touch. It wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed, anymore. It was usually something to be endured. A part of the job; maybe one that brought pleasure, at times, but even when he didn’t actively dislike the idea of it, he very rarely _wanted_ to be touched. It was just that he had gotten compliant about allowing it. He could have told Vincent not to touch his arm, or Yuffie not to slap his shoulder, or Tifa not to hug him. But he was used to burying his own wants. They wanted to touch him, so he allowed it, for their sake. The aversion he had wasn’t strong enough that those small touches by friends felt violating, so he didn’t protest; when it got that bad, he always told them to stop.

But he found, in that moment, that Zack’s embrace felt _comforting_. It wasn’t something to be tolerated; it was something to be savored. He felt safe, like this. It was more like wrapping a blanket around his shoulders than something uncomfortable that he allowed regardless. He couldn’t remember the last time he was touched and found himself sincerely _wanting_ it—and not in the way that he wanted the touch because it was how to get himself off.

“Stop thinking so much, okay? I know that’s hard, but try not to get bogged down in it. I don’t think your head is the best place to be right now, but that’s okay. We’ll figure out what to do until it’s an alright place to be again. What were you gonna do next, before I got here?”

Cloud shifted a little, embarrassed about what his plan had been. It sounded childish, now that he was going to share it with someone else.

As if he guessed the problem, Zack said, “When I get like this, I lock all my materia and weapons in my office and give Angeal my copy of the key. Then I go home and turn out all the lights and cover all the mirrors. I make spicy hot cocoa, the kind my mom makes, and I grab noise cancelling headphones. I go to a closet I keep empty for when this happens; it’s got a sleeping back and a bunch of pillows in it, and glow-in-the-dark stars on the bottom of the shelves. I go and I lie in there listening to a nature soundtrack. I stay in there until it’s better. Then I find Angeal, and I vent to him until the knot in my chest comes undone and I can breathe right again. I know, to a lot of people, a lot of those things would sound silly. But we can’t help what helps us. So. What were you going to do next?”

Cloud felt his fingers dig into Zack’s uniform top as he talked. That was something deeply personal to share, something he didn’t have to volunteer but did. It was a display of trust, and an outstretched hand, asking to be trusted in return. It was so much easier to reach back than it would have been before he said that.

“I was gonna take the spare blankets out of the linen closet. I take the armoire and angle it so it makes a wall and I make a nest in the gap it makes with the corner of the walls. I was just going to sleep off the rest, like that.”

“Naptime it is, then. You go move the wardrobe how you want it, I’ll get the blankets.”

Cloud moved on autopilot to go follow directions, but he was too busy marveling over the fact that slipping away from Zack actually felt like a _loss_. He tried to remember the last time he missed contact when it was gone, and came up blank. He got to the wardrobe and pulled it away from the wall, the feet scraping the floor and leaving marks he’d have to clean later, but his enhancements meant it wasn’t particularly difficult. Still, he must have been moving slowly, because by the time he turned around, Zack was waiting for him, his arms full of a pile of blankets that reached above his head.

“Nest time,” he announced, tipping the pile so some of the blankets fell into Cloud’s arms.

They went about arranging them in a big, cushiony pile. When they finished, Cloud looked up at Zack, who just nodded toward the blankets. Cloud hesitated for a second, but climbed in.

“Do you want to sleep by yourself?” Zack asked, waiting by Cloud’s feet. His expression wasn’t bright the way it usually was, but it also wasn’t dead serious. It was soft, and patient, like he had all the time in the world and all he wanted to do with it was help Cloud.

“I don’t—think so. Will you lay with me? You don’t have to, if you have somewhere to be. I was gonna do this by myself anyway.”

The reprimanding look Zack usually gave him when Cloud was overly-indulgent to the wants of others at the expense of his own (when he knew that was what Cloud was doing) was absent. He just nodded and climbed into the blanket-nest with him after toeing out of his shoes.

“Still okay if I touch you?” Zack asked, and Cloud’s heart fluttered at it again. He hadn’t explained anything to Zack, and he didn’t seem to want or need answers. It probably wasn’t difficult to guess where his issues were stemming from, and why it was important to ask if he could touch him, but it still meant something that he bothered asking.

When Cloud nodded again, Zack pulled him closer so he was half-lying on his chest, his back to the armoire and the bed behind it. He wrapped his arms around Cloud, who rested his ear on Zack’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

“Is it really okay if I fall asleep?”

“For however long you need. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Cloud peeked up at him, unsure.

“Don’t you have something you should be doing? Work, a mission?”

“I cleared my day when the front desk told me you cleared yours.”

Cloud frowned.

“You didn’t have to. I was fine.”

Zack cracked the smallest smile Cloud had ever seen from him as he said, “All due respect, Cloud, but I don’t think you were.”

Cloud paused, and then lay his head back down on Zack’s chest so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact.

“I would have been. I just need a bit more time.”

“I know you won’t believe me, and that’s fine, but it’s okay to accept help.”

Cloud’s fingers tightened a little bit around the fabric of Zack’s shirt.

“I don’t need—”

“Hey,” Zack said, his hand running soothing passes up and down Cloud’s back. “It’s alright. Argue with me when you wake up, if you still want to, but get some rest, for now.”

Cloud pursed his lips, still wanting to protest, but decided he could set Zack straight later. He’d tell him all about how it was irresponsible to clear his schedule when he didn’t have to, that Cloud didn’t _need_ help, that he usually took care of this on his own anyway. He was used to it. He could handle it. This was frivolous, and unnecessary, and Zack had better things to be doing with his time. He was a SOLDIER First; there was always some demand for his time, even if Zack usually ignored those demands anyway. Cloud wouldn’t tell him that he wasn’t worth the time and effort, because he knew Zack wouldn’t want to hear it, but he could dance around that truth. He could try to make him see that he had more important things to be doing.

But as Cloud drifted off into sleep, those thoughts drifted away from him, and weren’t going to come back for a long while.

Something strange happened that afternoon. Something stranger than Cloud actually yearning for a touch, or accepting help for once. It was something that had been brewing for a long time, but came to a peak right then. It was the vulnerability between the two, the trust exchanged, the experiences they shared, even if they differed some. It was the willingness to admit what they usually held close to their chests, the act of allowing the other to see a closely guarded part of themselves, that was usually under lock and key.

Zack had many friends, but few he actually allowed so close. Cloud had fewer, and play-acted that he was an open book, but allowed almost no one to actually see him. There was an understanding that passed between them, that they were allowing each other something they allowed few others.

For Cloud, the understanding slipped into the back of his head, but his mind was so fuzzy as he drifted off to sleep, that he didn’t notice it, and wouldn’t for some time yet.

For Zack, the understanding came clear as a bell toll, as he watched Cloud sleep in his arms.

They were never going to be able to pretend they just had a professional relationship again.


	6. Chapter 6

When Cloud woke up, he felt strange. He felt overly warm, to start with. But he felt enveloped. He wondered if maybe he put a few extra blankets on top of him for the weight, the way he used to in Nibelheim, though that had been during the winter and more for the heat. But this didn’t feel quite like a blanket. Now that he was waking up more, it felt like arms wrapped around him. And like there was a strange heater in his bed. Enough clients liked to cuddle after sex, needing to pretend they weren’t there just for a fuck, and that was certainly what this felt like. But he made a point of never actually falling asleep when they did that. What was going on?

Cloud cracked an eye open and looked up, to find Zack looking down at him. The day crashed over him like a tidal wave.

He quickly ducked his head back down, and Zack didn’t protest the movement. He loosened his hold, dropping one arm entirely, just one resting on Cloud’s arm, stroking his bicep lightly.

“Morning. Or evening, I guess. How do you feel?”

Cloud pulled away entirely, sitting up. He tugged at his clothes to straighten them for something to do, and he could feel the heat flooding his face.

It had been one thing, in the moment, to allow Zack as close as he had gotten. He’d been in a fog, in a daze, not thinking right. He’d just seen that outstretched hand and had been in just strange enough a mood to reach for it. It seemed unthinkable, now, that he ever let Zack set so much as a toe in his door today. As much as he liked Zack, as much as they were friends and they cared for each other, he was a _client_. What was he thinking?

It felt so wrong, now. Like he’d crossed some line. He knew, objectively, that it had been Zack who came to his door, Zack who held out his hand and offered to help, knowing full well what he was getting into. But he couldn’t help blaming himself. It was bad enough that he had these days, and worse to push them on someone else. _Especially_ a client. Gaia, Zack had probably only offered to be polite, and he’d been dumb enough to take him up on it. What had he been thinking, letting him see him that way? He knew he had been forgetting the right amount of distance to keep between himself and Zack, but he’d never overstepped the bounds _this_ bad before. This wasn’t how one acted with a client; it was like he actually thought Zack was his lover. Which was absurd, and ridiculous, and preposterous. He should _know_ better.

Cloud tried to angle himself so Zack couldn’t see his face, ducking his head to make it harder still to see. He knew he was blushing, but he didn’t know what else was on his face, but he could imagine the shame there. His hands made fists in the loose fabric of his jeans.

“I’m—shit, I’m sorry, Zack.”

He felt more than saw Zack sit up next to him.

“Is it still okay if I touch you?”

No. No, he didn’t want that right now; the fact that he had longed for it earlier terrified him. He didn’t know what that meant, only that he didn’t want it. But Zack wouldn’t ask if he didn’t want to touch him, and he had his priorities straight, now. Maybe things weren’t entirely ruined. He could remember Zack was his client. That meant his wishes came first.

He nodded quietly, but Zack didn’t reach out.

“Cloud, look at me?”

His wishes came first, remember that.

Cloud schooled his face as best he could into something even but pleasant before he looked up. He watched Zack examine every inch of his expression, turning to face him.

“What I said before still counts, y’know. I’m here to help; that’s all I’m interested in.”

Cloud felt his face flush hotter, but he offered a small smile; he knew Zack wouldn’t believe anything wider. He reached out and set a hand on Zack’s knee.

“I’m fine, Zack, nothing to worry about. I’m just sorry you had to see all that earlier; I shouldn’t have made it your problem. But it’s over now, I’m okay again.”

Something on Zack’s face cracked, and Cloud’s eyes narrowed. He’d said the wrong thing, but he didn’t know how. That had been right. Hadn’t it?

Zack took Cloud’s hand and deposited it back in his lap.

“See, here’s the thing: I don’t think you are. I think you’re just okay enough to push it all down again, and that’s not healing; it’s sweeping things under a rug. But they’re just gonna crawl right back out again if you do that. You let me help earlier, why are you acting like that’s a bad thing, now?”

Cloud sighed and looked away. He knew Zack was right, right about all of it, but he didn’t want to admit it. It was how he always did things, and it had worked so far, hadn’t it? Maybe Zack could have helped make it better, but reaching back toward him was out of the question, now that he was aware enough to know how wrong that was.

“I mean, it’s not your problem, y’know?”

“Of course it’s my problem. I care about you, and you’re hurting. If you caught me the way you were earlier, wouldn’t you want to help?”

Of course he would. _Obviously_ he would. That was the _problem_.

Cloud blew out a hard breath and ruffled his hair.

“Look, Zack, I—I don’t know how to say this. That’s not the issue here, and I think you know that.”

“What are you talking about?”

Cloud peeked up at him, hoping he was playing around, that he actually understood, but his brow was furrowed, concerned and confused.

“It’s—it’s not—well, it’s not _professional_, letting you see me that way. It’s not how things are done.”

“Fuck how things are done. Fuck being professional. Cloud, am I honestly just a client to you?”

Cloud hesitated. There was a right and a wrong answer to this, and he wasn’t sure which was which. All he knew, was that saying the wrong one would push Zack away, and he didn’t want that. But since he didn’t have a real clue as to which was the right answer, he’d have to settle for honesty.

“No. And that’s a problem.”

“_Why?_”

“Wh—because you _are_ a client, Zack, and I’m overstepping. I’ve been trying not to, I really have, but apparently it’s not working very well, because I forgot myself and let you in the door when I should have smiled and told you I was fine and shooed you out.”

“That’s not what I want, Cloud.”

He froze.

There was an implication, there. Zack had had however long he’d been asleep to think this over, to prepare for this conversation, and clearly he’d come to some sort of conclusion. Cloud was a little afraid to find out what he’d settled on.

“What do you want, then?” Cloud asked in a whisper.

“Whatever you’re willing to give me. I’m happy being your friend, if that’s what works best. If you want to stop sleeping with me because it makes me feel like a client, that’s fine too. I know some Safeguards have romantic relationships, but I know that’s tricky, so if you’re not interested, we don’t even have to put that on the table.”

Cloud’s brain felt full of static. He heard what Zack was saying, but he couldn’t process it. He blinked at him absently a few times, his eyes impossibly wide.

“What, are you—are you _offering_? To, what, date _me_?”

“Well, yeah. I’d like to, but if you can’t see me that way, I get it.”

An incredulous bubble of laughter slipped past Cloud’s lips.

“You saw me while I was falling apart and you thought, ‘Hmm, that’s the one I want’?”

“I saw someone who doesn’t trust easy trust _me_. There’s no way for us to go back to where I’m just a client after that, Cloud. I know it was in a moment of weakness, but you let me _in_. That means something—to me, at least.”

Cloud’s head was so scrambled. He was having a hard time telling which way was up.

“I’m—I’m sure we could. Find a way to go back, I mean. If that’s what you wanted. We can pretend today never happened, if you’d rather.”

Zack gave him a smile, but it was small, and fond, and strangely enough, a little sad.

“I don’t want to. Do you?”

Cloud ran a hand through his hair, pausing briefly to tighten his fingers in the locks before letting it slip through.

“I’m supposed to say yes. I’m supposed to say that you’re a client and that there are boundaries and I’m supposed to be professional.”

Zack shook his head and said, “I didn’t ask what you were supposed to do. I asked what you _wanted_ to do.”

Cloud bit his lip. He did so long and hard enough that he tasted blood, and Zack must have noticed somehow, because he suddenly glanced down at his mouth, a frown on his own lips.

“I want to try,” Cloud whispered. “I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it, Zack. I’ve never even tried romance; I’ve just seen enough movies to know how to play pretend for half an hour when a client wants that. There’s going to be a lot of fumbling. I don’t know where any of the lines are, what I should and shouldn’t do. I doubt it’ll be fun. Maybe we shouldn’t.”

Everything about Zack softened as Cloud spoke, his expression going tender. Something swelled in his eyes, some strange emotion Cloud hadn’t seen before. He didn’t dare let himself acknowledge that maybe it was (love) what he thought it might be.

“There are no rules, Cloud. We’ll make our own. We’ll take it step by step until we figure everything out and it comes easy. The way we do that is by talking to each other. You tell me what you want, I tell you what I want. Can you do that?”

“I can try. I’m—not very good. At that.”

“We’ll work on it. Just remember, I’m not a client anymore. You don’t have any obligation to be what I want you to be. I don’t want that, okay? I want you, as you are, even the jagged bits that hit wrong against mine. So, I know it’s going to be hard, and a learning process, but I want you to try and stop putting my wants first. So I’m going to ask again: can I touch you?”

Cloud paused for a second, trying to figure out the answer for himself. He was sure that touching was part of romance; hand holding and kissing and caresses. Zack was probably expecting it. But Zack was also saying he didn’t want Cloud to bury his wants anymore. But he remembered how good it had felt, earlier, when Zack had touched him. It had been healing in some way he hadn’t experienced before. He wanted _that_ again, but he didn’t know if it would happen if they tried contact this time.

“I—can I be honest with you?”

“_Please_.”

“I don’t usually like being touched. I think work ruined it a little for me. Most of the time it isn’t _bad_; it doesn’t upset me, or feel violating. It’s just not what I prefer. But I wanted you to touch me, earlier, and I _did_ like it. I want _that_ again, I just don’t know if it’ll happen every time.”

Zack took this in stride. Cloud had been expecting some heartbroken look; a touch aversion wasn’t exactly helpful in his line of work. But he just nodded his head, his expression never changing for his look of earnest interest.

“Do you want to try? If you don’t like it, I’ll stop. Simple as that.”

Cloud hesitated for a moment before nodding his head. Zack reached out and took Cloud’s hand in his, running his thumb along the knuckles. He was watching Cloud’s expression very carefully, trying to find anything he might not be saying. Cloud stared down at their hands and let out a shaky breath.

It still felt good. It felt _right_, like they were always supposed to end up here. Like everything else had just been a build up to this vulnerable moment. It felt like coming home after a long day out in the cold.

Cloud shifted his hand, threading their fingers together. He looked up at Zack, a small smile stealing over his face. Zack’s face lit up with joy, and it made Cloud’s heart stutter, and, Gaia, how had he ever managed to fool himself into thinking Zack was just a client?

“Can I kiss you?” Cloud asked, and Zack’s eyes turned warm and soft.

“Any time you like.”

Cloud leaned forward, their knees bumping, and Zack met him halfway. The kiss they shared was chaste, just their lips pressing together. They repeated the motion over and over again, feather-soft brushes of their mouths against one another, nothing more than little pecks. They had kissed many, many times; usually hot, open-mouthed, demanding things. The closest they had come to this had been Zack’s goofy kisses, accompanied by puckering sounds, meant to make Cloud laugh (they always did). 

But this was new, and it meant something. This couldn’t be misconstrued for work; there was nothing sexual about it. It was full of meaning, not lust. Cloud found himself leaning further and further forward, until he shifted to his knees. He shifted more, climbing into Zack’s lap, settling himself in the circle of his crisscrossed legs. He wrapped his arms around Zack’s neck, and Zack’s came around his waist, and they just pressed their lips together, again and again and again.

Eventually, they stopped, and rested their foreheads together. Cloud blew out a slow, shaky breath.

“Okay?” Zack asked, his arms already loosening to let Cloud go. Cloud tightened his and pressed closer.

“Yes. I—Gaia,” Cloud laughed a little and said, “I didn’t know it could feel this good. It feels—right. Like a key in a lock I didn’t know could turn.”

Zack held him tighter, whispering, “I think I know what you mean.”

“You too, huh?”

“Yeah. I think it’s a good sign.”

Cloud thought, briefly, about all the married men who described the initial honeymoon period to him, how love was strongest at the beginning before it burnt out, but you were left bound in the relationship. He thought about how many of those men ended up in his bed.

“You don’t think it’s too early to tell?”

“Probably. But that’s not a problem for now. I believe in us; we’ll last.”

Cloud paused, as the obvious question hit him. He didn’t know how it hadn’t occurred to him before. His breath hitched, and he cursed quietly. Zack pulled away to look at him questioningly.

“I can’t just quit my job, though.”

“Of course you can’t.”

“Won’t that be an issue? Me sleeping with other people all day long?”

Zack looked at him fondly and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

“I’m getting into this knowing damn well what you do for a living. That isn’t stopping me.”

“You aren’t going to get jealous?”

“I’m not really the jealous type, but even if I was, how could I think it was the same thing? I saw you at your weakest and you still tried to rebuild a wall between us. I don’t think I could ever make the mistake of thinking work isn’t just work to you—even when it’s not, like with me, even when you want it to be something else, you have a hard time letting it. All I ask, is that if you ever feel romantically inclined toward someone else, you let me know.”

“I sleep with your _friends_, though. You know Genesis came to visit, right?”

“I didn’t, but it doesn’t matter.”

“It’s not weird to let your friends sleep with your… boyfriend?” Gaia, it was weird just thinking it, much less saying the word.

“Maybe it would be to other people, but I know you, and I know them. If romance ever started springing up between you lot, someone would tell me. I trust _you_ to tell me, but even if you didn’t. Genesis takes romance too seriously not to, Sephiroth is a shockingly honest person most of the time, and Angeal, if he ever visits, is too honor-bound.”

Speaking of Sephiroth, and thinking of his inclinations toward SOLDIERs and friends, Cloud said, “You’re free to sleep with whoever else you want, too. In case Sephiroth finally gets around to asking. It’d be hypocritical of me to say anything else, anyway.”

Zack’s eyes narrowed, and he said, “I don’t care about hypocritical. Do you want me not to sleep with anyone else?”

Cloud laughed and shook his head.

“Of all people, I know that sometimes, sex is just sex. You promise me you’ll tell me if you start to have feelings for someone else, though?”

“Promise.”

“I promise too.”

Zack leaned forward to press another soft kiss to Cloud’s lips.

Cloud sighed happily and reached up to card his hand through Zack’s hair, who leaned into the contact.

“I’m sorry I make everything so complicated. For today, and then for trying to push you away, and for drawing all this out so long.”

Zack caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm.

“Nothing to apologize for. I didn’t say anything earlier either, remember? And for today, like I already told you—I get days like today too. I’m not proud of it, but the War left that kind of mark on a lot of people. Do you want to talk about it?”

Cloud paused, taking the time to fully consider. It might be helpful, to actually give voice to his issues, but he also didn’t want to rehash them. He shook his head carefully.

“Maybe someday, but not today. You’ve probably guessed most of it, anyway.”

“I wasn’t asking to satisfy any curiosity; I was asking because sometimes it helps to say things out loud. But if you don’t want to, then you don’t have to.”

Cloud pressed another kiss to his mouth, feeling a little thrill that he was allowed to when they weren’t in bed. He tucked his head forward, burying his face in the crook of Zack’s neck.

“Can we stay like this for a little longer?”

Zack chuckled, running a hand up Cloud’s back.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”


	7. Chapter 7

Angeal had taken a long time to make the call. Unlike Sephiroth and Genesis, he didn’t like making snap decisions. So Angeal had stared at his PHS off and on all morning before eventually calling the Safeguard Department and making an appointment; he thought it was more polite to let Cloud know he was coming, anyway.

His interest in the Safeguard had been growing slowly. It was curious that Sephiroth enjoyed his company, and even more so that Genesis seemed to have an equally pleasant time. He _had_ come bursting through their front door afterward to drag Angeal into conversation, replaying the encounter and the conclusion he had come to, and asking if he would be interested in bringing Sephiroth to bed with the both of them. He was essentially sold on the fact that he needed to visit then, because for someone to just meet Sephiroth and get such a good read on him was impressive.

But what made it a mandatory trip was when Zack had come bursting into his apartment at the end of the day. He and Genesis were both in the kitchen, Angeal cooking while Genesis drank wine and read, just close enough to be in the way from time to time. Zack came all but skidding around the corner, a wide beam stretched across his face. He rushed forward and threw his arms around Angeal, who carefully held his wooden spoon out of the way. He wrapped his one free arm around Zack’s shoulders, patting him lightly and laughing. Genesis set his book on the counter, knowing nothing would get done with it now.

“What’s gotten into you?” Angeal asked as Zack pulled away. He went to give Genesis the same treatment, despite knowing better than to try when he was holding wine that could spill. He backed off when Genesis held up his hand, a carefully controlled fire spell licking his palm. Genesis raised an eyebrow, and Zack took a step back, holding his hands up innocently, despite the fact that he was still grinning like a maniac.

“I’ve got good news! The best, really.”

“What could possibly be this exciting?” Genesis asked drily.

“Cloud and I are dating!”

Genesis and Angeal both blinked at him. Angeal was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the idea; Zack didn’t date. Oh, he flirted constantly, and he went _on_ dates at least once a week, but he didn’t go in for the partnership thing. He never had, not in all the time he’d known him. He seemed dead set against it, in fact.

Genesis recovered quicker, sighing and setting his wine glass down.

“Did you make an impulse decision again? Did you give this any thought beforehand?”

Zack sighed and rolled his eyes, propping his hands on his hips as he said, “_Yes_, I _did_. Plenty.”

“For more than five minutes, Zackary.”

“I spent hours thinking it over, okay?”

“How could that possibly work, given his profession?”

Zack crossed his arms over his chest.

“Are you seriously asking that? _Your_ relationship is open.”

“You misunderstand. My concern is not who sleeps with whom or how often it happens. My concern is your _boundaries_. His occupation, more than the actual fucking, is to give people what they want. In your position, I would be concerned any time he agreed to anything, in case he was only saying yes for my sake.”

Zack softened a little, his arms dropping from his defensive stance.

“I already asked him not to. I’m sure it’ll still be an issue, but I know to keep an eye out for it, and I believe we can move past it.”

Angeal’s brain finally finished catching up. It was still so _odd_ (Zack? With a _boyfriend_?) but it was starting to sink in. Enough, at least, that he could rejoin the conversation.

(What Angeal was not admitting, either aloud or to himself, was that something strange had flickered in his chest when he heard the news. It was almost like jealousy. Which made no sense, because Zack wasn’t his, and even if he had been, Angeal was accustomed to open relationships. He never had a problem sharing. It was more that he had told himself for years that Zack was off the table because he never dated anyone, and suddenly that was changing. It made him wonder if he had actually dared to take a chance earlier, if he might not be the one dating Zack. How that would end up working with Genesis would have taken negotiation, but it didn’t matter anyway, because they were now both spoken for by third parties.

This full thought process did not occur in Angeal’s head. A brief impression zipped through him, leaving a strange taste in his mouth that he didn’t like. He knew he was missing something, but not that it was jealousy.)

Angeal set a hand on Zack’s shoulder and, grinning, said, “Congratulations, Zack. The details will come with time.”

“Perhaps the more important question: am I still allowed to see him?” Genesis asked, watching Zack closely.

“_Gen—_” Angeal started with a sigh; this wasn’t the time for that question.

Zack waved his hand dismissively, though, and said, “That’s between you two. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

“It has quite a lot to do with you, now that you’re together. I understand that this must be a shocking turn of events for you, seeing as I don’t believe I’ve ever truly deferred to you in anything, but I will in this. Would you prefer it if I not go?”

Zack snorted and gave him a lopsided grin.

“You think I’d be okay with him sleeping with gods know how many strangers but not trust my friends with him?”

“Some would say it crosses boundaries, a friend sleeping with one’s boyfriend.”

“Well, those people aren’t me. I know I get in your hair sometimes, Gen, but I trust you. _But_, if you hurt him in any way—and no I’m not counting about anything consensual that happens in the bedroom—I’m gonna break your fingers.”

Genesis raised an eyebrow, but his lips tilted up.

“I’d like to see you try.”

Angeal sighed, but then he smelled dinner burning, and went to turn his attention back to it with a rare curse. Genesis wrapped Zack into talking about Cloud while he finished cooking, and then through dinner, which Genesis didn’t so much invite him to join as look offended when he tried to leave.

So.

If Zack was going to date Cloud, and the myriad of things he heard the other day were true, Angeal thought it was time for him to pay Cloud a visit.

Which was how he ended up trekking down to the Safeguard Department at 2:30pm.

He checked in with the front desk, where the secretary pressed a button (he assumed to let Cloud know he was here) and asked him to follow her. She led him through a maze of halls to an unmarked door that Angeal couldn’t understand how she identified before knocking politely. She gave him a bright smile.

“Enjoy your visit,” she said before stepping aside and disappearing down the hallway.

Angeal stepped in front of the door and took hold of the knob. He pulled in a deep breath and blew it out slow before pushing the door open.

Inside, Cloud was sitting on his bed. He was wearing the Safeguard uniform, all black leather, and he looked better in it than he had any right to. Angeal had always had a thing for leather (something he had yet to admit to Sephiroth, despite how much he loved his uniform), and the sight was doing something to him. Cloud had his legs crossed, one knee over the other, and was leaning back on his hands. He tilted his head as he regarded Angeal, trying to read something in him, though the SOLDIER had no idea what he was looking for.

Angeal coughed carefully and turned away to close the door, reminding himself firmly of his plan.

“You look nervous,” Cloud said, before he had a chance to turn back. He peeked over to see Cloud watching him carefully. “Why?”

“I don’t know if I would say it’s nerves,” Angeal protested.

Cloud hopped off his bed and approached. There was nothing timid in his stride—it was more of a strut, really. He moved like he was on a mission, and that at least half of it was to get Angeal hard with just the sight of his hips swinging. He stopped only when he was firmly inside Angeal’s personal space, not quite pressed against him, but leaving only the barest gap. He looked up at him, and then reached up to set a hand on his chest. Before he managed, Angeal caught his wrist.

Cloud’s gaze flickered down to where Angeal’s hand gripped his wrist, then back up, and a wry smile took over his lips.

“You’ve never seen a Safeguard, have you?”

“I see them frequently around the Tower.”

“You know what I mean.”

Angeal sighed, and lowered Cloud’s hand to return it to his side.

“No, I haven’t. And I don’t intend to; I don’t sleep with strangers.”

Cloud’s brow just barely furrowed.

“What are you here for, then?”

Angeal took a careful step back, putting a little space between them.

“You’re becoming more and more important to everyone around me. Is it really that strange that I’d want to meet you?”

Cloud blinked, then he sighed, rubbing absently at his hair as his weight sank into one hip. His allure dissipated, leaving something much more natural in its wake. Now, what stood in front of him was less a siren and more a man. And, somehow, that was more appealing.

Cloud peeked up at him and said, “This is about Zack, huh? He told you?”

“He _is_ very excited about this. Congratulations to you too, by the way.”

A strange smile came over Cloud’s face. It was a little shy, but a lot dopey. It did not fit a Safeguard at all, but Angeal found himself charmed.

“Thanks. C’mon, let’s go sit. I promise not to try and jump your bones.”

Angeal chuckled, and the dopey smile turned into a confident grin before Cloud turned and led the way toward the bed. He sat cross-legged on the bed, but he was barefoot, and wasn’t running the risk of getting the sheets dirty. Angeal sat with one leg tucked in front of him, boot carefully kept off the bed, the other firmly planted on the floor as he faced Cloud. They stared at each other for a long moment.

“You didn’t come here with a game plan, did you?” Cloud asked, and the amusement on his face was soft enough to make it clear he wasn’t poking fun.

Angeal smiled a little sheepishly as he said, “Is it that obvious?”

“Only a little. Let me see if I can’t help. I’d give you the rundown of how Zack and I got started, but I expect he already talked your ear off about it.”

“He may have, but I’d like to hear it from your perspective.”

Cloud looked at him for a long moment, clearly evaluating. Angeal let him search for whatever he needed to find, just blinking back at him.

As Cloud spoke, he watched Angeal, still evaluating.

“He started out as a client. He was one of my first regulars. He told me later that he basically got sent by another Safeguard. It’s pretty common practice to try and send the nicer clients to the newbies so they’re a little less freaked out. Someone flagged him down and sent him to me to try and ease me into things—which was stupid, I was _fine_, but the gesture was nice, I guess. He said he kept coming back because he missed being around other country boys, but I’m pretty sure that was bullshit.”

Cloud was judging every flicker of expression on Angeal’s face to try and decide how much he wanted to tell him. He didn’t know Angeal, but he knew how close he was to Zack. As much as Angeal had heard about him, he’d heard about Angeal. It was probably fine to tell him anything he wanted, but that wasn’t how Cloud did things. As he watched, he could see the infinite fondness come over his face, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. He knew that look. Zack gave it to him, that was true. Mostly, though, he got it from clients, who looked at him that way before complimenting him and sweet-talking and confessions tended not to come far down the line. That doe-eyed, honey-sweet smile was his biggest warning sign that he’d have to cut a client off soon. He didn’t know what it was doing on Angeal’s face, but he kept talking, trying to see how far it would go.

“He’s always been sweet with me, and cared more than he was supposed to. He threw me a birthday party, and brings me presents because he says they remind him of me. Hell, he bought me my PHS; he won’t say it, but I think he was frustrated by not being able to keep in contact outside of his visits. I’ve been pretty bad at treating him like a client for a long time now, and he’s been as bad or worse.”

He was dead certain, now. He certainly wasn’t going to give up any details about how they had actually ended up becoming partners; he didn’t know Angeal anywhere near well enough for that kind of vulnerability. And what he was seeing on his face didn’t make him inclined to do so.

Cloud propped his elbow on his knee and his chin on his knuckles.

“Maybe he picked that up from you,” Cloud finally concluded.

Angeal blinked, the fond look falling from his face. His brow furrowed.

“Picked what up?”

“Having a hard time remembering you’re not supposed to be in love with someone.”

Angeal sat upright, a look of confusion coming over his face.

“What are you talking about?”

Cloud hesitated. Maybe it wasn’t his place, but if there was anything he was coming to learn about the Firsts, it was that they occasionally needed help with revelations.

“Your feelings for Zack.”

“My… what?”

Angeal’s mind shot back toward that conversation with Zack like an arrow from a bow. He remembered that flicker of his chest, and Gaia, it _was_ jealousy, wasn’t it?

Angeal looked guilty and stricken. Zack trusted him—as a friend and as a mentor. And this was how he betrayed it, with unrequited feelings. Feelings that reared their head after he found happiness with Cloud. It had even gotten bad enough to make him jealous, and that was something he experienced with ever increasing rarity as he got older. He hadn’t been jealous since he was a kid, watching other children flirt with Genesis, and Genesis preen under their attention. He didn’t like how jealous made him feel; he grew ugly with it. He didn’t want that to slip out around Zack.

Cloud’s brow furrowed and his hand shot out to catch Angeal’s wrist as the man moved to stand; he hadn’t even realized he had moved.

“Hey—_hey_. It’s fine, okay? Sit back down.”

Angeal looked extremely hesitant, but he listened.

“How did you even _know_? _I_ didn’t know.”

A wry smile crossed Cloud’s face.

“I know the look of a man in love pretty well, and you got that look when I was talking about Zack. It was just a guess, but I think we’ll work this out better with everyone aware.”

“How are you so _calm_?”

“Because Zack trusts you, and I trust Zack. Now the question is: what are we gonna do about this?”

Angeal blew out a slow breath, running his palms over his thighs.

“I’ll have to talk to Genesis. Gaia, this is all going to get complicated.”

“In my experience, complicated and genuine is better than simple and fake. You ought to tell Zack, too.”

Angeal winced. That, he _really_ didn’t want to do.

“You’re right,” he admitted, despite sounding reluctant. He looked up at Cloud hesitantly. “You’re really not concerned? I have no intention of making any moves, but you two are still so new, and this could shake things.”

Most of Cloud wanted his relationship with Zack _terribly_. In fact, all of him wanted it, but there was a tiny, tiny part that said he didn’t deserve it. That he wasn’t good enough, that any one of his thousand flaws made him an unacceptable choice for Zack. So, yes. Partially, he was insisting Angeal come clean because it wasn’t good to keep secrets between the lot of them. But partially, it was self-sabotage. If Zack ended up running off with Angeal when he found out, it would probably be for the best. Angeal deserved him more than Cloud did.

Instead of admitting to this, Cloud gave him a bright smile and said, “Like I said: I trust him.”

Angeal paused. Something seemed off about that answer, that smile, but he didn’t know Cloud well enough to be certain. He stood instead, and this time, Cloud didn’t stop him.

“I have to go talk to Genesis. I’ll talk to Zack after, try to get things sorted. I’ll send him here when we’re done.”

“Thanks. Good luck. Genesis doesn’t do his fire spell shtick with you, does he?”

“You mean, will he send a fireball in my face when I tell him?”

“Yeah.”

“Probably. I’ve gotten good at blocking, though,” Angeal said, smiling down at Cloud, who laughed in response. And the exchange was, shockingly enough, easy. Far easier than it had any right to be, considering what had just come to light. But it felt like the air was clear between them, now, in a way it hadn’t been when he’d first entered.

“That big ass sword of yours probably helps.”

“A bit,” Angeal said before pausing. He continued, “Thank you, Cloud.”

Cloud blinked up at him, before laughing a little incredulously.

“You sure you should be thanking me? That was an uncomfortable realization that’s going to lead to some uncomfortable conversations with possibly uncomfortable consequences.”

“Maybe. But I’d rather be true and genuine, than hide behind a lie to keep what I have. Genesis was right; you are insightful.”

Cloud scoffed, waving his hand dismissively.

“Nah, I’m just more familiar with things that you aren’t. Different skillset.”

Angeal chuckled and said, “Maybe. But I’d still say you’re insightful; even with an unfortunate habit of giving people uncomfortable realizations.”

Cloud shrugged and climbed to his feet with Angeal.

“Someone’s gotta hand ‘em out—might as well be me. Pretty face like this means people tend to forgive you for those kind of things.”

Angeal tilted his head, humming briefly before saying, “I don’t think it’s because of your pretty face. I think it’s because people can respect someone who doesn’t apologize for doing the right thing, even when it’s not pleasant.”

Cloud blinked. It was a sweet way to put it. He still thought it was his pretty face, but he liked the sentiment, and he liked it more that Angeal thought to say it.

“If you say so,” Cloud said, refusing to argue the point.

Angeal began walking back toward the door, saying, “Do you mind if I come back? We’ll talk, and hopefully there won’t be any more big revelations to distract things. I do want to get to know you.”

“Of course, any time. Any time I’m not booked, at least; call first.”

Angeal smiled as they reached the door, and said, “I will. Thank you again, Cloud.”

“Thank me when you’re done having your hard talks.”

Angeal’s earlier nerves came rushing back. He smiled again, a little smaller this time, and set his hand on Cloud’s shoulder. They exchanged goodbyes and he slipped out the door.

Cloud was left watching it, staring blindly. His chest felt tight.

He knew it would be better, in the end, if Zack picked Angeal over him. Maybe Genesis would hate him for ruining his relationship with Angeal—or maybe all three of them would date, and leave Cloud behind. He shouldn’t, but he liked Genesis and Angeal both. He didn’t like the idea of never seeing them again.

He liked the idea of losing Zack even less. It would be the right thing to do, to let him go. But Cloud was selfish, and greedy, and he didn’t _want_ to. They’d barely had any time together. They hadn’t been out on a single date yet. They hadn’t slept together as a couple. They’d barely done any of the things that their new relationship allowed them. He didn’t even get a chance to enjoy the partnership, and he was going to lose it.

Cloud blew out a slow breath, hanging his head.

It would be okay. They would be okay. He would be okay. He was probably going to lose the lot of them, but he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself, if he kept this a secret from Zack just to keep him when he knew, he _knew_ Zack belonged somewhere else. He was going to lose him, but it was going to be okay, one way or another. The world kept spinning, after all. The clocks kept ticking, the tides kept turning, and time wouldn’t come to a pause just for him. Everyone was going to move on without him, and he’d just have to keep up with the world. He could always just throw himself into work as a distraction; that would work. It would all work out. It was going to be okay.

It was the right thing to do.

Cloud pressed a hand over his eyes and ignored the way it shook.

Hopefully, he’d manage to convince himself it was actually going to be okay before everything spun out of control.


	8. Chapter 8

Genesis was, strangely enough, taking this far better than Angeal had expected.

“You… know what I mean, right? I love Zack. Romantically.”

“Of course you do, Angeal,” Genesis said, sounding more impatient than anything. “You have for longer than I’ve bothered to keep track of.”

Angeal blinked at him in surprise. How did everyone figure out his feelings before he did?

Genesis sighed and took his hand, saying, “Angeal, of all people, I know what you look like in love. You’ve looked at Zack the way you’ve looked at me for ages. I was furious, when I first noticed, yes. I believe you thought I was irritated with you over the events of a mission. But you never stopped looking at me with your heart in your eyes. How could I stay angry? You never stopped loving me. Your heart is simply big enough for more than one, dearest. I’ve known that for quite a while. I’m only surprised it took you so long to realize yourself.”

Angeal looked down, tapping his fingers on his knee.

“I didn’t realize; Cloud told me.”

It was Genesis’s turn to blink. Then he laughed brightly.

“Oh, he does tend to do that, doesn’t he? Point out things he has no business knowing.”

Angeal found himself smiling faintly; Genesis’s good cheer was doing much to set him at ease.

“Apparently it’s a bad habit of his,” he said, before hesitating only a moment. “You really forgive me?”

Genesis looked at him, and then everything about him softened. He shifted closer and took Angeal’s hand in his, stopping his tapping fingers.

“Love, there’s nothing to forgive. Do you have some intention of leaving me for him?”

“What? Of course not.”

“Then, no, I don’t care. If you can arrange it between him and Cloud, you can even date him, if you’d like. As long as you always remember to come home to me.”

Angeal looked floored. That wasn’t something that had even been an option, in his mind. It was something he had cordoned off and guarded with large signs that said, “Off Limits.” And here was Genesis, saying that not only it was an option, but it was one he approved of.

“You’re—you’re sure? It doesn’t bother you?”

At this, Genesis turned hesitant.

“No, it doesn’t, but, I—well, I may be in a similar situation, myself. I’ve done some careful considering, but I can’t make heads or tails of what I feel for Sephiroth. I was going to come to you when I knew myself, but since we’re discussing it—there you have it. I don’t expect your permission to see him in any capacity beyond what we already do, but—”

“_Gen_. You can’t tell me to date Zack and then expect me to tell you not to date Sephiroth.”

“… But—”

“No buts. I trust you to come back to me. I trust that Sephiroth would do his damnedest to strong-arm you into it if you tried to leave me for him. I have absolutely nothing to be afraid of.”

Genesis looked at him hesitantly, his shoulders closer to his ears than they should be. Then he blew out a slow breath, and his shoulders dropped. He smiled softly and leaned forward, his fingertips pressing to the underside of Angeal’s chin as he kissed him.

“Thank you. I swear, I’ll figure out how I feel. You’ll be the first one to know. I just—he makes everything so damn _complicated_. You know him; you understand.”

Angeal chuckled, his smile turning fond.

“I do. It doesn’t help that you two have always gone at it like cats and dogs.”

Genesis smiled, and it was softer than it had any right to be.

“Perhaps. But we’ll sort it.”

It was Angeal’s turn to lean forward and kiss Genesis.

“I trust you.”

The conversation with Zack was not so easy.

“Listen, Zack. I have to tell you something, and I need you to be calm about it. It changes absolutely nothing, unless you want it to. Nothing has to be strange after. If you want to pretend we never had this talk the second it’s over, that’s fine too. I just need to tell you this.”

Zack was standing by the door, his boots still in his hand where he took them off. They were in Angeal’s apartment (so Angeal could give Zack the option to run away if he needed to), but Genesis was (not so) strangely absent. He dropped his shoes at the door, but looked wary as he went to sit on the couch by Angeal, in a way he would have buried if he was talking to almost anyone else.

“Okay, sure. Lay it on me.”

“I love you.”

Zack blinked, then grinned and said, “I love you too, man. Now, what’s this about?”

Angeal sighed, drumming his fingers against his combats again.

“No, Zack. I’m _in_ love with you. That’s what this is about.”

Zack stared at him for a long moment in what would have appeared to be out-of-character silence to almost anyone else. But Angeal had learned long ago that Zack fell silent as the grave when he was taking things truly seriously. Zack’s eyes roamed over his face, using every scrap of his natural people-reading talent to pick apart what Angeal was expressing. The honesty and sincerity. The hint of nerves. He was serious.

And Zack didn’t know what to do about it.

“I—Angeal, I—”

“Listen to me, Zack. Like I said, this doesn’t change anything unless you want it to. I just felt you ought to know.”

Zack paused for another long moment before saying, “You know, I had a crush on you for a long, long time. I think I stomped it out; at least, I tried to. I don’t know if any of it is still left, but I won’t leave Cloud because you had a sudden realization. Did you tell Genesis about this?”

Angeal nodded readily and said, “He was the first one I told. We have his blessing, if you’re interested, but that isn’t something we can decide here. You need to work out how you feel. If you decide you feel something, and if you decide you’re interested in pursuing it, know that I’m interested, but also know that I will check that you’ve discussed it with Cloud.”

Zack’s brow furrowed.

“What, you want to—date each other and other people at the same time? Me with Cloud and you with Genesis and us together?”

“Why not? If all the parties consent to it, I don’t see the problem. But everyone _does_ need to be okay with it, which is why I’ll make sure you’ve talked to Cloud.”

Zack looked hesitant, saying, “I don’t know, ‘Geal, things with Cloud are so new, I’m not sure I want to shake things with—”

“He already knows how I feel, Zack. He was the one who told _me_. He also told me to tell you; I think he was going to tell you if I didn’t. The only thing that might surprise him is if you feel something in return.”

Zack blinked, then huffed a soft laugh—yeah, that sounded like Cloud. He always did know too much for his own good.

“Let me think about it, okay? I’ll—get back to you. Once I’ve figured out where I stand and have talked to Cloud.”

Angeal smiled gently at him.

“There’s no rush. I don’t want you to be rash about this—and you know I’ll know if you are.”

Zack laughed, and it was a little less soft this time.

“You would never have been able to handle me if you couldn’t.”

Something he shouldn’t say about “being able to handle” Zack was on the tip of his tongue, and he swallowed the innuendo down with a careful demonstration of self-control.

“Good thing I have some practice,” Angeal said, and he thought that was innocent enough, even if Zack was looking at him like he knew what he wasn’t saying. He stood, but set a hand on Angeal’s shoulder as he rounded the couch.

“Since you’ve decided to give me homework _again_, I’m gonna go get a head-start on that soul-searching. I’ll let you know what I come up with.”

“Good luck,” Angeal called, faint amusement on his face. “Remember, there’s no rush.”

A few more pleasantries, and Zack had slipped out his door.

Angeal let him go with a sigh.

Zack sighed on the other side of the door.

Floors below them, Cloud sighed in time with affected pleasure.

He was doing something Tifa, Vincent, and Yuffie all hated. They all gave him endless grief when they caught him at it, but they were busy themselves, so they didn’t _always_ find him out. He’d managed to fly under the radar so far. No one except front desk seemed to know that he was picking up every last minute walk-in, every scheduling error that left a client without a Safeguard, every cancelled appointment. He had been working almost nonstop all day, and he had been doing this since Angeal left the day before. He took breaks to sleep (when it was so late the clients dried up), eat, and drink. He did the old Safeguard trick of taking a double-dose of hypers, which helped him keep his erection past the point where he shouldn’t have been able to get hard again. His friends would be furious if they knew, but he had to be caught before that could happen, and he was doing well so far.

It was stupid, he knew. He was certain Zack wouldn’t drop him without at least a conversation. But the petulant part of him said that Zack couldn’t have that talk with him if Cloud was otherwise occupied, and Zack had always respected his work. He would wait until Cloud wasn’t busy, and if Cloud was always busy, he could stall.

He didn’t know when Angeal was going to tell Genesis, much less when he was going to tell Zack. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could be next week, if he really needed time to figure out his phrasing. In the meantime, Cloud was burying his head in work so he didn’t have to think. He couldn’t worry about his own predicament when he was focused on a client. He let his attention circle around how to perform best, how to be everything the client ever dreamed of, and let that be the only worry to cross his mind. He couldn’t be afraid of his impending loss if he was too busy to think.

When Zack finally showed up, it didn’t go how Cloud expected. Cloud showed a client to the door just to find Zack leaning against the wall across from his entryway, waiting patiently for him to finish. Cloud bid the client a pleasant farewell, the client nodded to Zack, thinking him next in line, and Zack pushed into the room before Cloud could even think of an emergency plan.

Without a word, Zack held out his PHS to Cloud, a strange look of seriousness on his face. When Cloud took it from him, he pressed a button on it, and when Cloud held it to his ear, he could hear Vincent’s voice coming from the speakers.

“Cloud is overworking himself again. I don’t know why, or what has happened, but he never does this without reason. He hasn’t come to us, which means he’s hoping we won’t notice. Talk to him before I have front desk cut him off.”

Cloud slowly lowered the phone; Zack’s enhanced hearing meant that he would be able to tell the message had played out. He held the phone out, his expression blank, and Zack took it from his hand before pocketing it.

“The way Angeal told it, you were fine. But I guess you wouldn’t tell someone so new if you had a problem, right?”

Cloud looked to the side so he didn’t have to make eye contact with Zack and the unwelcome severity on his face.

“I just wanted to pick up some work, is all, and—”

“Cloud, _please_ don’t lie to me.”

Cloud shut up.

So Zack tried again, saying, “He said you told him, but that was about all he seemed to know. He would have told me if he thought you weren’t okay with it. I know you don’t feel safe with him yet, and you wouldn’t have told him even if it wasn’t fine, but why didn’t you _call me?_”

Cloud looked down at his toes this time. He plucked at the fabric of his boxer briefs for something to do. He had nothing to offer—there was nothing to say. No real way to defend himself.

Zack reached out slowly, giving him time to protest, and when he didn’t, took his hand.

“I know you do this when you’re upset. Vincent definitely wouldn’t have called me if he thought you were fine. I get you don’t like reaching out, but I’m already here, now. Talk to me.”

Cloud shrugged, but he tightened his hold around Zack’s hand.

“You told me a long time ago that you thought you loved him, Zack.”

Zack paused, and when Cloud risked a glance up, he saw his expression twisted with sadness.

“You really thought I was going to leave you.”

Cloud shrugged again. This time, he loosened his grip, and gently tried to tug his hand free. Zack didn’t let him.

“He deserves you.”

He didn’t need to say that he didn’t believe he did.

That was when Zack tugged him into a hug.

“You were never gonna lose me, Cloud. Not in a million years. You’ll have to convince me you actually want that, first, and not that it’s something you don’t believe you deserve.”

Cloud just let the hug happen for a long moment, but eventually, he raised his arms and embraced Zack in return. He pressed his face against his chest and nodded. Gently, Zack picked him up and carried him to bed.

“No more marathons, okay? I’m staying with you, and that’s that.”

Cloud finally peeked up at him.

“What about Angeal?”

“What about him?”

“Are you not going to—date him?”

“Cloud, the first thing we did was promise we’d tell each other if we had romantic feelings for anyone else. Have I mentioned any?”

“No.”

“Right. Because, as far as I know, I don’t. I’m still trying to figure that part out, but as soon as I do, I’m coming to _you_ first, not him. Even if the answer is that I don’t; I won’t leave you in limbo.”

Cloud paused to consider Zack, his eyes roaming over his face. After a long moment, Zack raised an eyebrow at him. He could hardly believe it, but everything he was reading on Zack said that he was serious. He nodded. Zack nodded in return and picked him up again, maneuvering him to tuck him in beneath the sheets before he kicked off his boots and followed in after him.

“You promise to stop marathoning?”

Cloud nodded, but it was interrupted with a poorly timed yawn. Damn, his hypers were starting to wear off, and when they did, it was always a sudden drop. He was crashing, and he’d fall asleep before long if he didn’t take more. But when he looked up, he didn’t see the concerned look he was expecting. Just relief, pure and simple.

Zack tugged him toward his chest, bundling him close.

“Good. Now get some rest. We both know you’re beat.”

Cloud wanted to argue—he had more clients planned for that day, even if he wasn’t going to do back to back appointments anymore. But, as the last effects of the hypers trickled away, Cloud found himself drifting off.

The last thing he was aware of was Zack kissing his hair and whispering, “Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok listen I know I love angst but I promise it's not just gonna be that Cloud isn't gonna be sad ALL the time


	9. Chapter 9

Sephiroth had never been a particularly moral person. He was afforded certain privileges after the Wutai War, when the company realized just how dangerous he was, and became afraid of displeasing him. He disliked the sentiment behind it, the distance that came with it. He disliked that he was given favors he didn’t feel he earned. But the fact was, those options, those avenues were available to him. He was in a position of power. They were opportunities, and he was an opportunistic man. He would achieve his goals with the most efficient means he had at his disposal. If that meant abusing his power, he had few qualms about it. His bigger concern was trying to keep it from Angeal, if he wanted to avoid a lecture.

So, yes, he used his power over the SOLDIER schedule to arrange a night for himself, Genesis, and Angeal. It meant Zack picked up shifts, and he felt vaguely bad about that, because he _had_ heard about his new relationship with Cloud. He thought they might be with each other constantly, honeymooning or whatever it was people in new relationships did, but he thought Zack might forgive him if he knew the why.

Sephiroth was slightly conflicted about Zack’s new relationship; he did like Cloud, a little more than he should. He _did_ want to see him again, especially since he felt he owed him for the realization that kicked off Genesis’s interest in the three of them being together. He stood to gain quite a bit from whatever comment Cloud had made to Genesis, and he disliked being in anyone’s debt. He hadn’t visited again because he was unsure of what he could do to even the score, but was unsure he would be allowed, now. Until, that was, Genesis mentioned in passing that he intended to go see Cloud again soon. Sephiroth had asked if Zack hadn’t told him, and he’d insisted that Zack insisted it was fine to continue seeing the blond. But just because Zack _said_ it was okay didn’t mean he would _like_ it. It was a conversation to have with the SOLDIER himself, when he had a chance.

But now he was walking down the SOLDIER First hallway to Angeal’s, which was, strangely enough, where Genesis told him to meet them, when he’d learned that their schedules lined up correctly. He would have thought that Angeal wouldn’t want this to happen in his space, certain he was mostly indulging Genesis’s whims, but maybe that assumption was exactly why they chose this location.

Still, Sephiroth felt wildly uncertain about the entire night. This felt distinctly different than what he had ever done with either of them. Genesis, he never planned to sleep with. Either Genesis came to him with a goal or whatever else they had already been doing just turned heated. When things turned heated, with stares that smoldered and glances toward mouths, it was more that they just ended up grabbing one another and hauling the other toward any semblance of privacy for relief.

Things with Angeal had some, but not much more decorum. Angeal never came to him, though he had tried to make it clear that it was because he was respecting Sephiroth’s boundaries (Sephiroth did not believe this, and felt more that Angeal was just indulging him whenever he was approached). Sephiroth turned up to wherever Angeal was, hesitant and unsure and covering those things poorly with indifference and bluntness. He walked in and made a frank proposition, and Angeal’s expression turned soft. The softness lasted only a breath before it turned to heat, and Sephiroth always managed to convince himself that he imagined the softness to begin with.

He made _plans_ with neither. Either Genesis instigated something or desperation made him reach out suddenly when he simply couldn’t wait any longer. But this was certainly planned, almost orchestrated. Genesis had told him to let them handle the details, and Sephiroth wasn’t even certain what “details” there were to be handled. He could only think that perhaps they were making meticulous plans about positions, but it didn’t seem like either of their styles. Genesis liked things to be spontaneous and Angeal liked things to be genuine; there was no room in either of those for planning things down to that level of nuance. Sephiroth was, overall, poorly prepared for the evening, despite having made some effort to try and figure out just what the hell he was in for.

Despite his efforts, he felt woefully out of his element as he knocked on Angeal’s door.

“Come in!” he heard Angeal holler from inside the apartment. He opened the door hesitantly and came inside, pausing only to leave his shoes at the door—it was one of the few policies Angeal insisted on. Sephiroth thought he just liked to stall mopping his floors as long as he could.

“In the kitchen!” Angeal called a second time, and Sephiroth followed his voice to the correct room.

When he entered, Genesis was tutting over some sort of fragrant, bubbling pot.

“That’s not enough, Angeal, come on now—”

“Genesis, just let me—” Genesis deliberately dumped at least half of the wine glass in his hand into the pot, and Angeal sighed heavily. “At least get me the salt to balance that out, now.” Genesis smiled, triumphant and beautiful, and kissed his cheek as he grabbed a shaker and pressed it into Angeal’s hand. His irritation melted into fond exasperation as he watched Genesis push away from the counter, shaking his head as he turned back to the pot.

Sephiroth looked between them in confusion (he had little understanding of how to cook, and the extent of help he was allowed to offer in their kitchen was cutting ingredients) as Genesis approached him. He held his wine glass out to one side so it was out of the way, set one hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder, and pressed a kiss to his lips that was strangely simple. And that was odd, because they did not share simple kisses. Their kisses were full of fire, and teeth, and were a battleground. _He_ didn’t kiss people casually; he rarely kissed anyone who wasn’t in this room at the moment at all. He wasn’t familiar with this kind of kiss, and it left him baffled.

If Genesis saw his confusion, he chose to ignore it.

“Took you long enough,” he scolded, though that, too, held no heat. “Angeal made me do your part of the prep work.”

“Apologies,” Sephiroth said, but even he could hear the confusion thick in his tone.

“Forgiven,” Genesis said, pressing the wine glass into Sephiroth’s hand this time. He took the cup because it was clear he was supposed to, but he wasn’t sure what to do with it. Alcohol had no effect on him, and he was given to understand that was the point of wine. He held it loosely until Genesis looked at him expectantly, so he took a hesitant sip from it. It didn’t taste as bad as some of the other alcoholic drinks he’d had did. Genesis nodded his approval and then went to the counter to pour himself another glass, as his old one was now spoken for.

“I hope today wasn’t too busy,” Angeal called, glancing over his shoulder with a smile. 

Sephiroth lingered by the doorway, unsure of what the hell was happening here. He thought they were going to bed, not sharing a meal. He hadn’t been prepared for this; he wasn’t sure what the protocol was, given what they intended to do later. He’d shared many meals in with these men, lately even with Zack in attendance, but never with the nightcap they had planned this time. It colored all the events wrong. This wasn’t what he had expected, what he had prepared himself for, and it was throwing him.

Genesis looked over at him with his new glass in hand, his eyes appraising. He sighed heavily and came back over, taking Sephiroth by the shoulder and hauling him closer. He settled him in between Genesis himself and Angeal, pressing his back against the counter, before Genesis slid in on his left side. Genesis raised a challenging eyebrow at him when he looked at him in askance, and when he made eye contact with Angeal, there was just a strange, soft smile on his lips.

What was going _on_?

“It was relatively slow,” Sephiroth said, his own words trickling out slowly.

Angeal hummed an acknowledgement as he stirred the pot, and Genesis tapped his fingers on his wineglass.

“‘Relatively’ slow could mean anything, considering your workload.”

“They do work you too hard,” Angeal agreed.

Sephiroth looked between the two of them again, and this time, there was the faintest furrow between his brows.

“I’m confused,” he admitted, which was not something he usually owned up to.

Angeal and Genesis shared a meaningful look, before Genesis sighed. He touched the back of his arm, just above the bend of his elbow.

“Do you remember the purpose of this, Sephiroth?” Genesis asked, his eyes strangely intent.

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“The three of us, together at the same time.”

“Yes, but _why_?”

The furrow in his brow grew deeper.

“To prove that I don’t come between you.”

“Yes, and that is significant for many reasons, but the primary one I gave you was…?”

“You dislike the distance between us.”

“Yes. Because you think you care too much, and I am trying to show you that you don’t. Because you are trying to force our encounters to mean nothing, when they do not have to. Do you see why it might be counterproductive, to that end, to drag you immediately to bed?”

He could see that argument, but he still didn’t _understand_.

“But what does _dinner_ have to do with proving that point?”

Genesis sighed and whispered, “Hopeless,” under his breath. Sephiroth felt the wound of that a little keener than he would have ever admitted to—he knew he was inept in these situations, but he thought it might be safe to ask these two, of all people. He couldn’t be too wounded, however, because when Genesis looked up at him, he looked nothing but fond. It had been exasperation, perhaps, but not a condemnation.

“There are a couple of reasons,” Angeal said, setting the spoon to balance across the edge of the pot so he could turn to look at Sephiroth. “Because this is familiar to you, and it will set you at ease to do something we do all the time. Because, for many people, this is what a date looks like.”

Sephiroth’s mind blanked out.

There was a lengthy pause before Genesis said, “Dear, I think you broke him.”

Sephiroth’s mind restarted, and went into overdrive.

It couldn’t be a date. A _date?_ Who would want to date _him?_ Rabid fangirls, maybe, who didn’t know him, didn’t understand how inept he was, how _bad_ he would be at this sort of thing, but Genesis and Angeal should know better. After all these years, he barely had his footing with a friendly night in, he was bound to botch a _date_.

Beyond that, why would _they_ want to date _him_ when they had each _other?_ They were in a relationship, they went to one another for that sort of thing. He understood that they took others to bed, but always as friends. Dates implied romance, and he didn’t think that was something they wanted with anyone else, much less with _him_.

Before Sephiroth realized what he was doing, he had set the wine glass down on the counter and made a break for the exit.

He only made it a handful of steps before Genesis caught his wrist in an iron grasp after setting his own glass quickly on the counter.

“Sephiroth, _wait_. Let me explain before you panic, alright?”

Sephiroth went perfectly still; he still wasn’t certain what he was supposed to be doing. Because, damn it all, he _wanted_ this. This was the dream he had never dared to put words to, because he knew he couldn’t have it. He’d never dared to reach for it, never allowed himself to even consider it, because it was out of bounds. He wasn’t allowed to want these men in that way. But he _did_, he _ached_ for this, and here they were, coming to _him?_

He wasn’t sure when Genesis had stepped around him to stand in front of him, taking his face between his palms.

“Breathe, love,” Genesis said quietly, and _Gaia_, he had never called him that before.

Wait, he wasn’t breathing very well, was he?

Sephiroth carefully took in a measured breath. It took only a try or two before it was under control; he’d learned mastery over his breath as a child. When it was even again, he realized that Angeal was standing at his side, one hand gentle around his arm.

“It is a _date_, but that is all it has to be,” Genesis explained slowly. “This sort of thing is a process. We don’t know how we fit together yet, but I for one would like to find out. I feel something for you, Sephiroth. I do not know what it is, but I would like to use this chance to figure it out. Angeal is even less sure of his feelings than I am. We’re not trying to rope you into anything, to coerce you into a relationship you do not want. If just the idea of a single date is too much for you, then we can call the whole thing off. This is an opportunity, not a death sentence of some sort. Nothing is final; there are just many possibilities, at the moment.

“When I said I wanted less distance between us, this is what I meant. I’ve been inside you, and you in me; there’s no physical distance left to close. I am talking about emotional distance. Intimacy. I know that scares you, and you dislike the idea, but I dislike seeing you isolate yourself. You wall yourself off from everyone and shy away from anyone who dares to reach for you. If this is too soon, then say so, but we _are_ reaching for you. Will you let us see where this goes?”

Sephiroth paused to consider, his breath coming a little shallower as he pulled his attention away from controlling it so closely. He _knew_ what he wanted; he didn’t need some sort of process, some intermediary period to figure it out. But they did. They had reservations, doubts of some kind, uncertainties. They seemed to think he had the same.

That was fine. If this was what it took to have a chance, so be it. It concerned him, distantly, that this might raise his hopes just to dash them. They had already gotten him to acknowledge that this was, in fact, what he wanted, if only to himself. Indulging this any longer would be dangerous, in the chance that they decided against it. It might be smarter, more strategic, to shut things down right now, and spare himself the potential heartache.

But, even if they decided against it, he would have the memories of this one night. He would be able to pretend, for tonight. He could remember the night the three of them shared together and dream, even if there ended up being no way to realize it. He might pay for it later, when they told him no, when he botched tonight somehow, but he was always going to botch things, sooner or later. As he told himself when Genesis first extended this offer, it was better to risk the heartbreak and keep the pleasant memories than keep himself distant and not indulge while he had the chance.

(There was a saying he had heard once, in Mideel, about it being better to love and lose than to have never loved at all. He’d always found it ridiculous, and absurd, and he thought he might understand it now, just a little.)

He nodded slowly.

It was worth it, for the way Genesis smiled gently, the expression curling over his face. He leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to Sephiroth’s lips that made his heart ache sharply.

Gaia, he didn’t know a kiss could feel so good.

Then there was a hiss from behind them as the pot boiled over, and Angeal rushed towards it with a curse. Sephiroth started to turn to look, but Genesis laughed against his mouth and kissed him again, and he forgot all about the pot. They kissed each other slowly, and neither moved to deepen it. It wasn’t passionate, the way theirs usually were. It was gentle and full of some meaning that made Sephiroth’s ribcage feel too small. He settled his hands with a strange hesitance on Genesis’s hips, but the redhead hummed his encouragement into his mouth, tilting his head for a slightly different angle. One hand stayed curved against his cheek, but the other slid up and into his hair, cupping the back of his head. For once, his fingers threaded through Sephiroth’s hair but didn’t tangle in it, didn’t grasp and knot in the strands.

Sephiroth could feel himself going to putty in Genesis’s hands, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Because it felt like losing control, and that was inherently _bad_, but it felt so _good_.

He lost track of how long they spent like that. He could distantly feel Angeal’s eyes on them, and that made him feel unsure for a split second. But Genesis seemed to tell his attention was split, because he scraped his teeth over his bottom lip—not a bite, nothing sharp, just a reminder to pay attention. When he focused again, Genesis slid his tongue along the same path his teeth had followed in apology, and wasn’t that strange, because it was the first hint of either in the whole exchange, when they usually led with teeth and tongue.

He focused so intently on Genesis that he didn’t hear the burner of the stove click off, or Angeal’s footsteps toward them. He started a little when he felt Angeal’s hand curve over his own hip, and his lips brush his ear.

“Dinner’s ready,” Angeal said, his voice a little throaty with some emotion that Sephiroth couldn’t place.

“Can it wait?” Genesis muttered against Sephiroth’s lips.

Angeal chuckled in his ear, and he had to fight down a shiver.

“Not unless you want it to get cold.”

“We can heat it up again,” Genesis said, a purr in his voice that said he was well aware of any second meanings.

Angeal laughed again, this time pressing a kiss to the space just behind Sephiroth’s ear.

“_Gen_,” Angeal said, a gentle scolding.

Somehow, even though they were talking to each other, it was like all the attention was on Sephiroth. And attention was something Sephiroth was very accustomed to; from the labs, to leading the war, to every piece of propaganda and meeting and interview, Sephiroth was the constant center of attention. But it had never been attention like _this_. There had always been some sort of emotional distance, but there was some sort of meaning thick in the air, here. Sephiroth was starting to guess at that meaning, but the fact that he might even have this chance still seemed impossible.

He had explained his childhood to them long ago, when their uncomfortable questions and pointed looks grew to be too much, but only after he had deemed them trustworthy. Even then, he’d only done it because he hadn’t had a full understanding of just how odd his childhood had been. They knew, full well, just how inhuman he was, what a freak he was, how monstrous and abnormal and inherently wrong. But they still were touching him this way.

It felt like a dream.

“Fine, fine,” Genesis said, and when he pulled away and looked at Sephiroth, he was greeted with a strange sight. Sephiroth—keen-minded, attentive Sephiroth—looked absolutely dazed, the pupils of his cat-slit eyes blown wide.

Genesis felt his heart stutter, an ache of impossibly intense fondness spiking in his chest, and _oh_, he was in deeper than he thought, wasn’t he?

Genesis had no idea what was on his own face, right up until he glanced over Sephiroth’s shoulder at Angeal, who was watching him with his own look of knowing fondness. He cleared his throat then and grabbed Sephiroth by the elbow, steering him to the already set dinner table. Angeal laughed lowly and went to fetch the food.

Sephiroth settled himself in his usual chair, and Genesis trailed his hand over his shoulder blades as he went to go sit in his own. Angeal joined them shortly, setting the put on a hot pad and distributing food among their plates.

Sephiroth, honestly, could not have told anyone what happened at that dinner. He knew he ate, but he didn’t remember what it was, or what it had tasted like. He knew he talked, but he couldn’t remember the conversation, or the topics, or anything that had been said. That kiss had knocked all the sense clear out of his head; he was elated in a way he never was, and it had just been a _kiss_. Had _this_ been what he had been missing out on, all this time, as he carefully kept up the wall between them all? He thought maybe he’d strayed too much into his own thoughts, but he didn’t recall either Genesis or Angeal calling him back to attention, so he must not have.

(He did. Angeal and Genesis exchanged many fond looks at the dazed look on his face. But he always came most of the way back to them, so they weren’t overly concerned.)

He did, however, think his attention might have lapsed when the scraping of chairs snapped him fully back to reality.

He stood abruptly to follow, and this time, he caught the look the other two shared. His eyes narrowed a hair, and Genesis’s grin grew—it seemed Sephiroth was finally back. Genesis checked his shoulders into Sephiroth’s as he passed, knowing it wouldn’t disturb his balance at all, and they all carried their dishes into the sink to be worried about later. The second Sephiroth had laid his in the sink, he was spun by the shoulders. With a practiced hand, Genesis flicked open a handful of clasps on Sephiroth’s jacket so he could dig his fingers into the upper lip of the wide SOLDIER stomach guard and tug him forward. Sephiroth allowed himself to be pulled and took a secondary step closer, pressing fully into Genesis’s space. This, at least, was more familiar.

Right up until Genesis freed one hand to cup his cheek and ghost his lips over Sephiroth’s own. He repeated the motion over and over, Sephiroth’s eyes fluttering shut, the faintest furrow between his brow.

“Does it always feel like this?” Sephiroth asked between passes of Genesis’s mouth against his own.

“Like what?”

“Like… too much and not enough, at the same time.”

Angeal chuckled and pressed himself up against Sephiroth’s back, sinking his hands into the pockets of Sephiroth’s coat and pressing flat to the hard musculature beneath.

“Always,” he agreed, nuzzling his face into Sephiroth’s neck. They could all feel when his breath hitched.

“Bedroom,” Genesis demanded.

His fingers dug back into the stomach guard and pulled Sephiroth along, walking backwards himself. Angeal pulled his hands from Sephiroth’s pockets to settle them on his hips and encourage him forward. They were moving slowly enough that Genesis could steal kisses every few steps.

They got as far as the bedroom door before clothes started being peeled away. Genesis shed his own with the sort of quickness that could be reserved for soldiers and Safeguards before focusing his attention on Sephiroth. He undressed him slowly and with far more care, the act almost reverential.

Angeal watched the baffled look return to Sephiroth’s face and their progress as he undressed himself. He was far more interested in the sight of Genesis treating someone else with the care he usually reserved for Angeal. They had taken SOLDIERs to bed together before, and he’d walked in on Genesis with others in the past, but he’d never seen this sort of tenderness before with any partner that wasn’t himself. It was that, above all else, that made it clear, to Angeal at least, how Genesis felt. If Genesis still didn’t fully understand by the end of the night, then Angeal would have a very Cloud-like realization to deliver himself.

Angeal was undressed not long before Sephiroth was, and the second the General was out of his clothes, Angeal began pushing him and Genesis gently toward the bed.

“I don’t—know how to do this, with more than one other person,” Sephiroth said hesitantly, looking between them. He followed the press of Angeal’s hands and climbed onto the bed.

“We could do a lot of things,” Angeal said. “Is there anything you do or don’t want?”

Sephiroth looked between them, considering, before he slowly said, “I just want you both. The details don’t matter.”

Genesis climbed onto the bed with him and straddled his lap, rolling his hips to grind them together, tearing a harsh breath from Sephiroth.

“You’ve never thought about it? How you would like us all together? No fantasies, no daydreams?”

“I—” another roll of the hips, another sharp breath, “I didn’t say that.”

“What did you imagine, then?”

Sephiroth looked so hesitant it would have read shy on any other man. Genesis paused to let him consider as Angeal got onto the bed and slid into place behind him, his legs coming to frame Sephiroth’s own. His arms wound around his waist, his hardness settling against the small of his back, though he seemed to be seeking no relief.

“You could say you wanted me face down with my ass in the air while Genesis rimmed you, and neither of us would mind,” Angeal promised, and Sephiroth looked sharply over his shoulder at him. He had never slept with Angeal in such a position, one that seemed so emotionally distant, and he certainly never imagined that Genesis would ever consider something so undignified.

Yet Genesis hummed, pressing them together again as he said, “That doesn’t sound half bad.”

Sephiroth almost jerked to look back at Genesis, who laughed softly at the astonished look on his face.

“Tell us what you imagined, Sephiroth,” Angeal encouraged, slipping his hands down Sephiroth’s torso and up Genesis’s legs. He grabbed his boyfriend by the hips and encouraged the rolling motion, pulling him down to grind against Sephiroth.

“Nothing too different from this,” he admitted slowly. “Angeal inside me, while I was inside Genesis.”

Genesis and Angeal hummed in time, exchanging a heated look.

“I think that can be arranged,” Genesis said, watching as Angeal reached back to their nightstand, where a bottle of lube was already sitting out, ready and available.

“Shift to your knees,” Angeal encouraged Sephiroth, patting his hip lightly as Genesis climbed off his lap. He poured some of the lube onto his fingers before passing Genesis the bottle, who repeated the motion before tossing the bottle to the side of the bed.

Sephiroth shifted to his knees as Genesis did much the same. Angeal ran his clean hand down Sephiroth’s back before pushing his long hair over his shoulder to drape over his chest, where it would be less in the way. He hummed his appreciation for the view as he pressed one slick finger between his cleft, trailing until he found Sephiroth’s entrance. As his breath hitched, Genesis leaned forward to kiss him, his own hand drifting back to begin preparing himself.

Sephiroth felt split in two directions, half of him focused on the kiss, half of him focused on the feeling of Angeal’s finger slowly sliding in and out of him. Genesis _still_ wasn’t kissing him with heat, though he was using tongue, now. It was still a strangely tender kiss. Passionate, in its own way, but not in the way that burned. Genesis was trying to press some emotion into his mouth, against his tongue, make him drink it down until there was an understanding between them. Sephiroth was afraid to guess at what that emotion might be, in case he misunderstood. He wouldn’t guess, wouldn’t put words to it, but he wouldn’t tell himself the swell of meaning in his chest was wrong. Tonight was for playing pretend, for dreaming that he might have all that he wanted. This was for making memories to hold close later, when all else was gone. He wouldn’t put words to anything, no, but he could imagine.

He felt, distantly, when Angeal pressed a second, then a third finger inside him. He felt himself grow so hard he ached, felt Genesis shift closer so he could line them up and circle a hand around them. He felt himself let slip a rare curse and a still rarer moan. Everything felt more intense than usual, as if the added meaning also added an undercurrent of electricity. There was fire licking up his veins, and Genesis and Angeal were certainly putting it there, but it still wasn’t the kind of fire he was familiar with. This fire warmed his bones instead of burning him. He found he liked it better.

Angeal continued long past the point where he thought he was prepared. Genesis had certainly stopped preparing himself, wiping his hand clean on his thigh before switching, using that to stroke them together. He buried his clean(er) hand in Sephiroth’s hair, and if it was still smeared with a little precome and dirtied his hair in the process, Sephiroth couldn’t even find it in himself to care. He just followed the gentle pull of Genesis’s fingers and ducked his head lower, at a better angle to kiss him deeper.

Eventually, he pulled away, to whisper, “Please hurry up.”

He wanted to leave it at “please.” He thought they would have understood what he meant. But that sounded a little too much like begging, and he wasn’t far enough gone for that.

Genesis chuckled breathlessly against his mouth and said, “What do you think, Angeal? Is he ready?”

“Oh, he has been. You two just seemed to be enjoying yourselves,” Angeal said, that strange, warm fondness in his tone again. Sephiroth would never understand what to do with it.

Genesis rolled his eyes as he pulled away, saying, “I would have enjoyed him inside me, more.”

Sephiroth couldn’t help the furrow in his brow.

“Really? It’s that easy? You won’t fight me?” Genesis had never once allowed him such a thing without making him earn it.

Genesis gave him a look of endeared exasperation.

“How many times do I have to tell you, that’s not what this is about? We’ll play those games again another day, but for now, let me do something for you.”

And that was an absolutely baffling sentiment. Few people ever did anything kind for Sephiroth simply because they wanted to. Any favor extended was to put him in debt so a favor could be requested later. He and Genesis never had the sort of relationship where they did things selflessly for one another (because Sephiroth had never allowed for that sort of thing) and he didn’t understand how they might now. Angeal, maybe, he could have understood this from, but not Genesis.

“Are we trading off from now on, then?”

Genesis sighed, touching Sephiroth’s face.

“No, Sephiroth. There’s no catch. This isn’t an exchange. Stop thinking so much.”

_That_ was certainly a sentiment he wasn’t accustomed to hearing. He was _always_ supposed to be thinking, _always_ supposed to be logical. This whole night went against anything he had ever been taught.

But this night also felt better than anything ever had before. Maybe Genesis was onto something.

Slowly, Sephiroth nodded, and Genesis smiled. He pressed one soft kiss to Sephiroth’s mouth before turning around, his back to Sephiroth. He grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him down, so Genesis was resting on one elbow, and Sephiroth was hovering close to his back.

Genesis had wanted to be face-to-face with Sephiroth tonight, but that wasn’t particularly practical, given Sephiroth’s request. Besides, it might be best this way. They were already overwhelming Sephiroth; that had been made perfectly clear by the way he seemed to grow hazy from time to time, like his mind short-circuited. He thought being able to watch each other’s expressions might be a little _too_ intimate, and it might backfire on him. But with Sephiroth pressed against his back, his breath in his ear, his arm wrapping around his waist now, he thought he might still be able to get his point across this way.

“Are you ready?” Sephiroth asked him.

“Please hurry up,” Genesis parroted back at him, and Sephiroth couldn’t help but huff a laugh that Angeal echoed quietly behind him.

Sephiroth pressed inside as slowly as he ever did; he was always concerned about injuring the people he took to bed, but it felt especially important not to tonight. Sometimes, Genesis had insisted on hurrying through prep and had come away sore and insisted that he liked it, but that didn’t feel like it was in the same vein as what they were doing tonight. It would have seemed out of place. But he was overly cautious, and eventually Genesis gave an impatient sigh, and began pressing back himself. Sephiroth took the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Genesis’s waist and grabbed his hip to stop him.

“Don’t you dare,” Genesis said, too breathless to be waspish. But it was pointed enough that Sephiroth listened, letting Genesis press back at his own pace, until Sephiroth was fully seated inside him.

“Angeal?” Genesis said.

That was when Sephiroth felt a hand slide onto his hip.

“You’re sure about this, Sephiroth?”

“The whole point of tonight was all of us, was it not?”

“But if you two changed your mind, and want your moment…”

Sephiroth reached behind him and grabbed what he could—Angeal’s leg, by the feel of it—and squeezed.

“Our ‘moment’ includes you. Genesis may be very focused on proving some point to me—”

“_Hey_—”

“But neither of us have forgotten you. He is just being overly indulgent with me tonight.”

He carefully didn’t say if Genesis was indulging Sephiroth or indulging _in_ him, for whose sake he was doing these things. Because Sephiroth was convinced Genesis was only humoring him, that this whole night was just humoring him, just testing the waters before he was set to the side and firmly back in their former parameters, but he thought Genesis might protest if he said so aloud.

There was a moment of silence, as Angeal considered whether or not he believed Sephiroth was being honest. Genesis breathed in to say something, but Sephiroth squeezed his waist to silence him. But the moment dragged on too long, and they had to do _something_, only he wasn’t sure that whatever was going to come out of Genesis’s mouth would work. Angeal had said “their” moment, but they had been indulging Sephiroth all night, and it felt like his responsibility to set things to rights. So he did what he had never considered seriously before.

He begged.

“Please, Angeal.”

Both Angeal and Genesis let out a gust of breath. Sephiroth was a man perpetually in control. He did not ask for things, much less plead or beg. He politely requested at best, but was more likely to demand, or if those failed, find some way to take. He never, _never_ admitted to the kind of weakness implied in begging.

But he begged Angeal.

And that was when Angeal wondered with actual seriousness, for the first time, if maybe _he_ was truly in love with Sephiroth as well. It seemed impossible, in light of the week he had. He couldn’t possibly love Genesis, and Zack, _and_ Sephiroth. That was absurd. A heart might be big, but surely it had limits. It would be absurd, to have two of these revelations in a row. But then, nothing about Sephiroth _or_ Zack tended to be reasonable.

It wasn’t a problem for right now. It could be sorted out later. To him, this had been intended to be a fun night for him, his boyfriend, and his friend, to help push the other two together. He had always expected to bow out before the end and leave them to it. His job was to facilitate, to ease Sephiroth’s mind and convince him that his presence wasn’t an intrusion or interruption. He had never considered that his feelings, or Sephiroth’s feelings for him, might become muddled up in the proceedings. He had never considered that he might _have_ feelings for Sephiroth _to_ get muddled up in _anything_. But he had gotten this far without examining his feelings (though apparently he should have at least put in a little effort to do so before it came to this), so he could put them aside for the rest of the night. He could enjoy this night without attaching too much meaning to it.

So he obliged Sephiroth and began pressing slowly inside, Sephiroth letting out one of his rare moans as he did so, and gods, if that didn’t make his blood grow hotter. He stopped when he was fully seated, the three of them completely still, until Genesis sighed (they could all imagine him rolling his eyes) and pressed himself back sharply. It shoved Sephiroth the last half-inch onto Angeal and shocked a moan out of both parties. Angeal knew a cue when he saw one, though, so he took it.

They began moving slowly, building a rhythm that faltered at first. In the beginning, Genesis pressed back, shoving Sephiroth onto Angeal, just for Angeal to press forward, shoving Sephiroth into Genesis—pushing and pulling the General between them. That was good, and quickly had all of their breath going ragged, but there was a hiccup in their rhythm. Suddenly, Genesis was pressing back in the same beat that Angeal pressed forward, and _that_ was overwhelming for Sephiroth in the best way. His hand shot back to clutch Angeal’s hip, his arm tightening around Genesis’s waist. His head bowed, pressing his forehead to the back of Genesis’s neck, and there was an unspoken agreement to settle into this rhythm instead.

There was something endearing about Sephiroth coming apart this way. He clearly didn’t intend to; it wasn’t how he did things. Even when he was taking Genesis or Angeal, he always fought hard to keep control. But he was yielding to them, allowing them to set the tempo, allowing them to overwhelm him and not fighting it or them. He wasn’t even moving, instead allowing them to move him between them, letting them guide him in a way he didn’t usually stand for. He was being strangely vocal, which was odder still; he was usually very quiet in bed. But there were hitches in his breath and gasps, stifled groans, muffled curses and quiet calls of their names. It wasn’t _loud_, per se, just loud for him. And if he was paying more attention to his own behavior, he would have been mortified.

But he wasn’t paying attention to himself at all. He was too focused on his lovers, on the feel and sound of them. The pretty noises Genesis liked to make, Angeal’s ragged breaths and quiet groans. Genesis usually liked to spew filth as they fucked, but somehow, they _weren’t_ quite fucking, and the filth wasn’t filth at all; it was endless praise. Genesis kept encouraging him, telling him how good he felt, how perfect he was, and Sephiroth was not, as a rule, a man who needed his ego stoked. He was fully and perfectly aware of his talents and skills, and was very well accustomed to being told at how excellent he was at his work. But he was very, very rarely complimented sincerely as a person. His appearance, yes, but not _him_.

And when Genesis cried, “Oh, yes, _Sephiroth_, Seph, just like that, _thank you_, you’re so perfect, you’re _everything_,” he could feel the hard shudder that ran through him, and he couldn’t even guess _why_ that affected him as much as it did.

He didn’t care about the why. He cared about memorizing everything that happened. Every word that slipped from Genesis’s lips, every time Angeal breathed his name, every scrap of sensation. Because, for tonight, he could almost believe they loved him. For tonight, they were at least considering that they might. And that “maybe” hung large in the air, where he could breathe it in and pretend it was definitive. He reminded himself very firmly that the “maybe” was bound to turn into a “no,” but for tonight, he could act like it was a “yes.” He knew this was all temporary, but for now, it was real.

And the feeling of love surrounding him, sliding down his throat in the air he breathed, being pressed into his skin and deep inside him, was what had him spilling inside Genesis earlier than he was proud of with a high cry. He trembled at the peak for a long, long time, not realizing the way he trembled literally, but when he came down, he realized Genesis had grabbed him by the back of the neck and looked over his shoulder to draw him down into a kiss. He realized that Angeal had folded over him, much the way he was bent over Genesis, his hands on Sephiroth’s hips and his lips to the back of his neck.

He pressed that moment deep, deep into his memory, so he could always remember the moment he truly believed they loved him.

But then Genesis was pulling away for breath and pulling away entirely, letting Sephiroth’s softening length slide out of him. He pushed his chest, shoving both him and Angeal backward, thrusting the entirety of Angeal’s cock inside him as he fell into his lap. Angeal caught him with a soft laugh.

“Are you alright?” Angeal asked in his ear, and Sephiroth nodded.

“More than.”

He tried to move then, because Angeal was clearly still hard inside him, and he knew full well how to ride someone. But his thighs were shaking, and it must have been from pleasure, because it couldn’t have been from exertion—they hadn’t let him put any work in. Angeal huffed another laugh and then, in the way only the enhanced would have been able to, began lifting and lowering him by the hips; Sephiroth was just fucked-out enough to allow it. In his just-sated, post-coital bliss, he was remarkably tolerant, and would have been more than happy to allow Angeal to do whatever he liked.

He didn’t know the picture he made, letting Angeal do with him what he would, still blissed-out from a truly impressive orgasm. As Genesis settled in to watch them and finish himself, stroking himself intently, he couldn’t help but marvel. Because, yes, it would have been attractive to see anyone so handsome in the position Sephiroth was in right now. But this was _Sephiroth_, the paragon of self-control, who had just given himself up to them, let them take care of him and give to him in a way he never tolerated, continuing to allow someone else control over him. He was happy to let Angeal do whatever he liked. He was trusting them so much tonight, that they wouldn’t do anything wrong by him, and he continued to. He let Angeal do what he wanted, trusting him not to hurt him, and he let Genesis watch, trusting him not to use it against him. He wondered who this man was and what he had done with the Sephiroth Genesis knew.

And the realization that swept over him was what had Genesis coming in his hand. That nothing had been done to Sephiroth, nothing had changed; _his_ Sephiroth just loved them, and trusted them, and finally felt safe enough to show it.

Gaia, he really was in deeper than he thought.

Genesis came to this realization, but Angeal did not. It was easier to grasp what was happening while watching than while still being in the thick of it; Genesis had only understood what was going on after he stepped aside. But as Sephiroth slumped back, resting his head on Angeal’s shoulder, and let Angeal press soft kisses to his mouth, he came to another, equally dangerous understanding.

Genesis wasn’t the only one who had feelings for Sephiroth.

Angeal nearly stilled when he realized how he felt. Because that was _impossible_. People didn’t fall in love three times. Loving _two_ people was unheard of in Banora, _three_ was out of the question. But when Sephiroth cracked his eyes open to peer up in sleepy confusion at Angeal’s stillness, he felt his heart swell in a way that was distinctly familiar, and there was no denying it now that he was looking directly at it. Sephiroth reached up to touch his face softly, something quizzical on his face, and he _never_ touched _anyone_ softly, and everyone in the room knew it. Angeal whispered a curse, buried his face in the crook of Sephiroth’s neck, and began moving again, already feeling his peak nearing.

Because that soft touch meant that, maybe he loved three people, but two of them loved him _back_, and the unknown variable wasn’t Sephiroth anymore. He never, _never_ thought that _Sephiroth_ would come to love him before Zack, but there was no way to deny the way that hand slid gently into his hair, now, holding him close in what he would have called tenderness, if he had known he could possibly expect that from Sephiroth.

“You two look perfect together,” Genesis said, his voice strangely hushed.

Angeal looked up at him, watching Genesis look back at him with a perfectly knowing expression. He thought, in a brief flash of panic, that Genesis would be furious, when he knew he loved Sephiroth. But he smiled at them in soft approval, and Angeal realized that he might be able to have them both, all of them _together_, and he came with a groan, Sephiroth’s fingers tightening in his hair.

When he finally came back to his senses, it was to both Sephiroth and Genesis looking at him with their hearts in their eyes; he felt his own stutter in response.

It felt like someone had to acknowledge the elephant in the room. They had gone into this looking for answers, and they had found them. Angeal was certain that Genesis knew how they all felt, and Sephiroth must have some understanding, if he was looking at them like that.

But then Sephiroth was sighing and slipping out of Angeal’s lap. His legs were steadier now that he had a chance to catch his breath after his orgasm, but he still looked sleepy and sated. But, strangely enough, he began sliding out of bed, his eyes on the door. Angeal and Genesis both shot their hands out, each one catching one of the Sephiroth’s wrists. He looked back at them, blinking in a lack of comprehension.

And that was when Genesis and Angeal realized that he didn’t know how they felt. That, somehow, he had allowed himself to show such trust without actually believing his feelings were reciprocated. They each wondered, then, if he even realized how much of his heart had been on his sleeve, or if it had just been an accident, an unintentional slip of his careful control.

Angeal started to open his mouth, because he couldn’t let Sephiroth think they didn’t want him, not when both he and Genesis knew that they both did, but Genesis caught his eye and shook his head. Angeal looked at him with the same confusion that was on Sephiroth’s face as he looked between the two.

There would be a time for realizations and seriousness, Genesis was sure. But it would be best not to spoil the night, to let this be something simple and pleasant and pure. They could argue until they beat it into Sephiroth’s hard head that they cared, but for now, he wanted Sephiroth back in bed, looking content and watching them with trust in his eyes again.

So Genesis gave him his softest smile and tugged on his wrist.

“Stay the night,” he insisted.

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed in confusion; they never did that. _He_ never did that, not once. He fucked and left. He wasn’t one for the intimacy of sleeping in bed with another person, for allowing someone to see him with his guard down. Even in the War, he’d had his own tent. He hesitated, and Genesis tugged softly on his wrist again.

Sephiroth shrugged and climbed back into bed. In for a gil, in for a hundred. If tonight was about playing pretend that he was loved, he might as well get the most out of it that he could. He thought it might be a nice finishing touch to the memory, to drift off to sleep with them all in each other’s arms.

So he let them shuffle him into the center of the bed, Genesis tugging him over as Angeal slipped around him to fetch the comforter from the floor, where it had been placed for safe-keeping, to spare it getting dirty. He shook it out above them and let it drift slowly down to cover Sephiroth and Genesis, where Genesis was already curling into his side and tucking himself under Sephiroth’s arm and wrapping his own around Sephiroth’s waist. Angeal turned out the light and slid into bed beside him, curling against Sephiroth’s other side, his arm crossing over Genesis’s at his waist.

There was a quiet chorus of “goodnight”s, Sephiroth’s being the last and quietest.

He drifted off to sleep last, listening to the soft, even sound of Genesis and Angeal’s breathing. He allowed himself a faint smile in the darkness.

It wouldn’t be forever, but for now, it was everything he could have asked for.


	10. Chapter 10

Sephiroth was not well known for his stealth. This wasn’t because he _couldn’t_ be stealthy, but rather that he only rarely felt the need. No one could sneak up on him, but he had gotten the drop on an infinite number of people over the years. It was just that, most of the time, he could walk brazenly into a fray and come out unscathed, which made such sneaking unnecessary. But, just because he didn’t usually bother, didn’t mean he was incapable.

He was actively trying to be stealthy as he left Angeal and Genesis’s bed.

The two were still asleep. Sephiroth’s internal alarm was set for far earlier than theirs; they woke early, but he woke with the sun, no matter how late he was up the night before. The issue was, they were still curled against him, pressed in close against his skin.

He moved them slowly, carefully maneuvering each to try and remove them without either waking. He managed to pull them away with their breathing still slow and even, but getting out of the bed would be a different trick in itself. He had to slip under the comforter, letting it go over his head as he shimmied his way down the bed to exit at the foot. It was incredibly undignified looking, but he managed, and their breathing had still yet to change. He shifted his weight slowly to his feet when they pressed to the floor and ducked out from under the blanket. It would be simple from here. There was no risk of jostling them, no physical disturbance to alert them to his movement. He knew well how to silence his footsteps.

He only got two steps before the board beneath his feet creaked on the third.

He mouthed a curse, his eyes slipping shut.

He heard both Genesis and Angeal shoot up in bed. They were both trained into sleeping light during the Wutai War; they all had been. The second he’d made an audible sound, it had been over.

“Sephiroth? What are you doing?”

“Nothing, Genesis, go back to sleep.”

He continued moving toward the door, bothering less with stealth now that they were awake.

“You’re not trying to sneak out, are you? Because if you are, and I hear that front door open, I will run after you and tackle you to the ground regardless of where I catch you. And I doubt you want the implications involved in you sneaking out of my apartment early in the morning and getting tackled by a naked man.”

Sephiroth sighed and turned back. When he looked at Genesis, there was no hint of the previous night’s emotions on Sephiroth’s face. There was no vulnerability, no trust, no love. Just his usual blankness. It was like the last night had never happened.

“Why bother?”

“Why—Sephiroth, get back in bed.”

“_Genesis_—”

“No, Sephiroth, we clearly need to have a discussion. I was planning on having it over coffee and pancakes, but it apparently can’t wait.”

Genesis tossed back the comforter and looked at the space between him and Angeal pointedly.

Sephiroth sighed again, and climbed onto the bed, but sat cross-legged at the foot of it, instead of moving back to where he had been. Better to keep distance between them all. Genesis clicked his tongue impatiently.

“What do you think happened last night?”

“We fucked. Perhaps you got the answers you were looking for, I don’t know.”

“Did it truly mean nothing to you?”

It meant the world to him. It was something he would treasure forever, something he would hold close when he was left alone again.

He shrugged.

“What do you imagine it might have meant?”

“That you love us, the way we love you.”

Sephiroth froze. He looked between them, saw Genesis’s impatience and Angeal’s soft fondness. He didn’t understand.

There was only one way it made sense. He sighed impatiently.

“Listen to me. I appreciate that you humored me, but you do not have to continue. It’s beginning to feel like pity, and you know how I dislike that.”

He wasn’t expecting Genesis to reach out and slap him; that was the reason it actually connected. He blinked back at him in shock.

“How dare you suggest we would string you along that way? _Humor_ you? The idea that we would lie to your face to indulge you is not only ridiculous, but insulting.”

Sephiroth scoffed and looked away.

When this only further irritated Genesis, who opened his mouth to snap back, Angeal gently grabbed his wrist, despite his eyes still being on Sephiroth.

“Let me try,” he said, waiting for Genesis to sigh before continuing, “Sephiroth?” He paused until the man glanced over at him. “This has nothing to do with us, does it?”

His brow furrowed as he said, “How do you mean? Clearly, you are involved.”

“I mean, that you don’t believe we love you. We could tell you until we’re blue in the face, and you wouldn’t actually believe a word we said.”

Sephiroth looked away and remained silent for a long, long time. But Angeal was patient. He could wait him out. Genesis almost interrupted, but he squeezed his wrist, and he fell silent.

Eventually, Sephiroth said, “No, I would not.”

“Because you don’t think we could love you. Because you don’t think anyone could, not if they really know you, the way we do.”

Genesis scoffed, saying, “That’s absurd,” but Sephiroth didn’t say a word.

“Why?” Angeal asked.

Sephiroth finally risked a glance at him, a small furrow between his brow, and said, “I doubt you really need me to say it.”

“Maybe, if you do, you’ll understand that it doesn’t make much sense.”

“Shall I tally my faults for you, then?” Sephiroth said, a little flippantly. “It might take a while.”

“_Sephiroth—_” Genesis said, but he held his hand up in response.

“I can, if you’d like,” Sephiroth said. “I am well aware of my flaws. As you should be. You know my history, you’ve seen me at my worst, you deal with me often enough.”

“Your childhood was out of your control,” Angeal reminded. “We all did things we weren’t proud of in Wutai. And there is nothing about your behavior that makes you unlovable.”

“I am emotionally stunted at best, I have no grasp of social cues, I am stubborn, do you need me to continue going?”

“Those things don’t make you unlovable, Sephiroth.”

“I am a mass murderer.”

“We all are.”

“I do not feel bad about it.”

“You were following orders.”

“I’m barely human.”

“You had no say in those experiments, and you are human in every way that matters.”

“Not in every way.”

“Every way that matters.”

“Genetically—”

“No one gives a damn about your genes, Sephiroth. No one cares about who your parents were, or the color of your hair, or the look of your eyes. We love you for _you_, not all the things you hate about yourself.”

Sephiroth ducked his head then.

Angeal released Genesis’s wrist to set his hand on Sephiroth’s knee.

“We’ll spend however long it takes proving to you that we love you. You don’t have to believe us today, and you don’t have to date us until you believe us.”

“But we would like to date you,” Genesis said, double checking with Angeal with his eyes, waiting for his nod before continuing. “To be clear.”

“But _why?_” Sephiroth asked. “You have one another.”

“Do you imagine that you are like Angeal?”

“Hardly.”

“Do you imagine that you are like me?”

“No.”

“Then how would us dating each other be the same as dating you?”

Sephiroth pursed his lips, unwilling to admit to the logic of that. Genesis scooted closer, bumping his knee into Sephiroth’s.

When it was clear Sephiroth wasn’t going to say anything, Angeal tried, “You don’t have to make any decisions today. Just know that we love you, and we want you with us. The offer is on the table; it’s up to you whether or not you decide to take it.”

Genesis sighed and said, “And we should mention Zack.”

“Zack?” Sephiroth said, eyes cutting to Genesis, then back to Angeal when he sighed heavily.

“Right, Zack,” Angeal said. “I have feelings for him, as well. This whole thing has turned really complicated. I told him recently, but you know he’s dating Cloud now; he’s not sure how he feels. But Genesis OKed me to date him. That might make things more difficult, with you involved too, and I don’t pretend to know how we’ll get all of this to work, but it’s better if you know now.”

Sephiroth felt a pang of jealousy, and another tally against him; Zack was an amazing man, and much more deserving of Angeal’s affections. He ought to choose Zack instead, but he was saying it as if they were both an option. Sephiroth knew his understanding of romance was limited at best, but he didn’t think it usually became a tangled web this way, with lines between partners criss-crossing and knotting.

“And before you get your head too far up your own ass, his interest in Zack doesn’t negate anything we just said,” Genesis said, watching him closely, knowing him well enough to know where his thoughts had been turning. “We all like Zack, terror though he is at times, but he doesn’t replace you.”

Sephiroth ducked his head again; sometimes he hated how transparent he could be to them. He still didn’t think he was someone anyone could truly love, and he especially didn’t believe he was worthy when there were better, more deserving options. But he had a hard time denying things to the people he cared for, and if what Genesis and Angeal wanted was _him_, he suspected he’d end up caving. Still, he could tell them no, if he thought it was in their best interest. He would just have to decide if rejecting their offer and risking upsetting them was worth saving them from him and everything he came with.

“I need time to think,” Sephiroth said quietly.

“You can have all the time you need,” Genesis said, climbing out of bed. He tilted Sephiroth’s face up with his fingertips and pressed a kiss to his mouth, ignoring the way the man’s brow furrowed—he still wasn’t accustomed to casual kissing. “In the meantime, we’ll have breakfast. You can sulk on it later, and at least it will be on a full stomach with caffeine in you.”

Angeal got out of bed and gave Sephiroth his own kiss, smiling down softly at him, looking far more charming than he could have possibly intended with his hair in disarray. The lieutenants left the room, giving their general a moment to compose himself before he followed after them.

They spent the morning together, before Sephiroth went to his own apartment to shower and get a fresh uniform. He then headed to his office, but as he waited for his computer to boot up, he came across the problem he should have seen coming.

There was no way he was going to be able to focus like this. His mind kept drifting back to what Genesis and Angeal had told him every few minutes. The biggest issue here was that he had no sounding board for this. He came to decisions best when he was allowed to explain all the options to a third party, gain feedback, and use their perspective against his own to come to the most neutral conclusion. This worked best with more people involved, but he had a limited number of people he trusted to do this with. He usually went to Angeal or Genesis or both. Occasionally he turned to Zack, but no one else was an option. The issue here was that Angeal and Genesis were both out for obvious reasons, and Zack wasn’t an option either, because of his own involvement with Angeal.

But thinking of Zack brought up the only other option he could think of. It was hare-brained at best. He knew it was a bad idea, and he was only considering it because he couldn’t think of anywhere else to turn. He had felt like he connected to Cloud on some small level when they had met. Zack’s clear trust in him spoke well on his behalf. The fact that he gave Genesis the stunning revelation that put him in this situation in the first place said something about his insight. Cloud would likely keep his secrets so it wouldn’t reflect back poorly on his boyfriend. It wasn’t a _terrible_ idea, to turn to Cloud, just not a good one.

But the more time he spent in front of the computer, the more he was considering it. There really wouldn’t be much harm. It might require a little more soul-baring than he was comfortable with, considering how little he actually knew Cloud. It would certainly put him more firmly in the Safeguard’s debt. Yet he found himself tapping at the wood of his desk instead of typing as he should have been, and that was when he sighed and caved. He got halfway out of his chair before remembering Cloud’s firm instruction to call first, and dropped back into it, pulling out his PHS.

The front desk at the Safeguard Department informed him that Cloud was booked solid until the evening. When he told her that he would be brief and didn’t need a full time slot, she informed him that the appointments were back-to-back and Cloud literally did not have time that wasn’t spoken for already. When Sephiroth asked her how that was even supposed to work, physically, he was told to ask Cloud if he wanted details of his business practices. Sephiroth sighed and deferred to that, taking the evening slot.

He did, admittedly, spend a fair amount of the day trying to figure out how Cloud managed to get the continuous erections that would be required for working that way.

He managed to get _some_ work done during the day, but mostly dallied about, even playing absent-minded solitaire on his laptop while he tried to figure out what he was going to say to Cloud to try and explain his position. Before he realized it, he had missed lunch entirely (he’d get a lecture from Angeal if he knew) and it was time for him to leave for his appointment with Cloud. As he made his way to the Department, he couldn’t help but wonder how he had managed to kill the entire day in such an empty-headed way. It was unlike him, and spoke to his level of distraction.

When he was escorted to Cloud’s room from the front desk, he knocked politely on the door, waiting for Cloud to call, “Come in!” before he entered. When he did, he looked around the familiar room. Unlike last time, there was a candle burning on the nightstand, and Sephiroth thought that was strange, as it was a fire hazard, until he realized its purpose. Despite the air conditioning filtering the air somewhat, the room still smelled _very_ strongly of sex, which convinced Sephiroth that yes, Cloud definitely _had_ been working all day, and the smell of the candle wasn’t doing much to hide that fact. He closed the door behind him and finally looked over to Cloud, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed, much as he had been when Sephiroth had first visited. Only, the magazine was absent now, and he was in the Safeguard uniform instead of jeans and a tee-shirt.

“No casual clothes this time?” Sephiroth asked, stepping further into the room. Cloud rolled his eyes but smiled up at him.

“You only saw that because you surprised me last time and I didn’t get a chance to change.”

“Is this what you usually wear for clients, then?”

“Unless I know their tastes and can tailor an outfit for them, yes. If you’ve got something you’d prefer, now’s your chance to let me know.”

He could think of quite a few things, the most intriguing of which being Cloud in the type of short skirt or shorts that would show the full length of his legs, but he didn’t feel comfortable enough to request something like that. He wouldn’t even request Genesis dress up for him, despite them being comfortable with each other, and knowing the way he liked to put on a show. He understood that this was literally a part of Cloud’s job, but it still felt odd.

“Perhaps later.”

“Maybe I’ll try some general favorites until you admit to liking something, since I don’t think you’re actually planning on telling me any time soon.”

See, that kind of insight was why Sephiroth had come here.

“Speaking of your other clients, I have a question.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow, but said, “Go for it.”

“How do you manage to work all day without proper breaks?” There were more important questions to ask, but this one _had_ been plaguing him all day.

“You mean, how do I keep it up all day?”

“And how the tiredness doesn’t get to you.”

“Hypers. Lots of them. Double-dosing helps keep you hard.”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed just slightly as he looked Cloud over. Now that he was looking for it, he could see the finest tremor in his fingertips. It couldn’t be from exhaustion, the hypers would have taken care of that, but jitters would explain it.

“That hardly seems healthy.”

“What’s unhealthy is the way you SOLDIER boys try to push through absolutely everything and ignore your body’s needs just because the mako will let you.”

Sephiroth scowled and said, “That’s hardly the same.”

“How? We both do it to get our jobs done. There’s just more glory in ignoring wounds and depriving yourself to complete a mission.”

Sephiroth frowned. He had a point, and he hadn’t meant to be dismissive of Cloud’s work. Instead of admitting to this and apologizing, because he liked to avoid doing that whenever possible, he changed the subject.

“I didn’t come here as a client.”

If Cloud knew why he changed topics, he was willing to let it slide. He just raised an eyebrow at him and tilted his head in a gesture Sephiroth suspected he’d gotten from Zack.

“Oh? Why _did_ you come here, then?”

“You gave Genesis advice, or at least an insightful comment. And Zack trusts you.”

“And I gave Angeal a much-needed reality check, if we’re tallying up my favors to the Firsts. What is it you need?”

“I… would normally turn to Angeal or Genesis for this. Or Zack if they were unavailable. But they are all involved, and I need a third-party perspective.”

“Okay. What’s the problem?” Cloud said, shifting over on the bed. He patted the mattress next to him, and Sephiroth came to gingerly sit where instructed.

“I’m not sure where to begin.”

“The beginning usually helps.”

Sephiroth huffed his strange laugh, the one that was more a swift exhale than anything else.

“Perhaps. What was it you said to Genesis?”

“I told him that you two seem to act and fuck like you hate each other. I take it that bothered him because you don’t actually.”

Sephiroth sighed; he understood, now, how Genesis came to his conclusion.

“We don’t. That is the heart of the issue.”

“You don’t seem happy about that.” When Sephiroth looked over, Cloud’s face was serious as he contemplated him. “Most people prefer not hating someone.”

“I do. I never hated Genesis. I think, maybe—… Whatever I say here, you will keep between us, yes?”

Cloud smiled softly, and Sephiroth’s heart did an odd stutter in his chest. He hadn’t seen such an expression from the blond before. His looks had always been sultry. This was distinctly different, and he felt oddly about it. It reminded him of how he felt when Angeal gave him that exact look. It was something to examine later.

“Of course, Sephiroth. I’m not in the habit of sharing client secrets to begin with, and even if I don’t already like you as a person, which I do, I’d keep your secrets as a courtesy to Zack. He’s protective of his friends, you know that. He might not actually kill me for betraying your trust, but he’d think about it.”

Sephiroth, privately, thought this was an exaggeration. But he did know Zack would likely be angry on his behalf, and that was more reassuring than the rest of it. He didn’t fully believe that Cloud would do it as a favor to him, because they barely knew one another, and that just didn’t track with his experience of what people were like. But Cloud doing it as a favor to his boyfriend _did_ make sense, and he thought he could trust that, at least.

Sephiroth sighed then and said, “The issue is that, Genesis not only claims not to hate me, but to care for me.”

“Like romantically?”

“So he says.”

“So what’s the problem? Do you not feel the same?”

“I _do_.”

“Is it because of Angeal? They’re together, right?”

“They are, but Angeal claims to feel the same way.”

“Okay. Do you love _him_?”

“Yes.”

“So let me get this straight. You all love each other.”

“Correct.”

“… Yeah, I don’t see the issue here.”

“I don’t believe they actually _do_ love me, despite what they claim.”

Cloud’s brow furrowed.

“See, now, if anything doesn’t track, it’s that. Keep in mind that I’ve only met each one once, and all the rest I’ve got to go on are stories from Zack, but that doesn’t seem like either of them. Angeal is too honest to tell a lie that big to anyone. Genesis is fiercely loyal to his friends; he’d fuck with a stranger that way, maybe, but never you. Even a stranger seems like a stretch—he seems to take romance too seriously for that. It’s just not in character for either of them to do that.”

Sephiroth frowned and looked at his lap. He knew that, objectively. He knew that, if the object of their supposed affection was anyone else, he would never have doubted their honesty. But the holdup was that it was about _him_, and maybe Cloud didn’t know him well enough to understand why that was unbelievable.

“We’ve only just met, Cloud. You don’t understand why their affection is so unlikely.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“It’s because _I_ am the target.”

“… You know you have, like, thousands of swooning fans who say they love you, right?”

Sephiroth sighed impatiently and said, “Yes, but they do not _know_ me. If they did, they wouldn’t feel that way. Angeal and Genesis know me well enough to know better.”

“If they know you so well, don’t you think that they, of all people, would know if you’re worthy of their affection?”

“… What?”

Cloud propped his elbow on his knee, and rested his cheek on his knuckles.

“People always see the worst in themselves. We know our own flaws better than anyone else, and we tend to be harsher on them than anyone else is. We condemn ourselves for things that aren’t our fault and make mountains out of molehills. Whatever you see in yourself that makes you think you’re unworthy of their affection, they probably have a more accurate gauge on it than you do. They don’t have your bias. _Especially_ Genesis. You two were rivals before you were friends; he had no reason to want to like you. But he ended up there anyway. Once he got to know you, the good must have outweighed the bad. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have ended up friends, much less anything else.”

Sephiroth blinked at him slowly, trying to process this. Because it _did_ make sense, in its own way. He thought that the ones with the bias were Genesis and Angeal, that they were inclined to be overly forgiving of his faults because of their affections. But perhaps he was the one with the bias. It made sense, when he considered Genesis’s initial intense dislike for him.

He took long enough to consider that Cloud waved a hand in his face and said, “You still in there?”

He blinked rapidly this time, and then sat up a little straighter.

“Yes. What you said… makes sense. More sense than I’d like to admit, perhaps.”

“For what it’s worth, Sephiroth, my whole job is reading people; I’m a good judge of character. I’ve had some real scumbags walk through my door, and some of them smiled the prettiest. You’re not unworthy of love, and I say that because I’ve met people that are.”

Sephiroth considered him, but found him to be earnest, completely honest. It disturbed him, some, that Cloud was accustomed to handling such awful people. That it didn’t seem to bother him to admit that he’d allowed such “scumbags” to have their way with his body. It had crossed his mind on his first visit, but here it was coming up again: he didn’t like what Cloud’s offhand remarks said about his self-esteem. Sephiroth wasn’t a man accustomed to feeling much of anything for others, but it made his heart feel strange, to hear these things.

“I appreciate the sentiment.”

“But you don’t believe it?”

“I believe that you do.”

Cloud smiled, and it was almost wistful.

“I know you’re supposed to be a genius or whatever, but maybe consider that, if more than one person is telling you you’re wrong, then you might be.”

And that, too, was a compelling argument. Because Cloud _did_ seem to understand people. And Genesis and Angeal _did_ know him well. Maybe he should consider that he was wrong. He opened his mouth to respond, but then his eyes narrowed.

Cloud was starting to tremble, and not just the jitters from before. These were the kind of shakes Sephiroth had experienced when he worked himself past the point of exhaustion and his muscles were threatening to give out, because he had ignored the way they shouted in protest for too long. Considering how relaxed Cloud’s pose was, it didn’t say anything good, that he was shaking at all.

“Do you have another client after me?”

Cloud blinked at the sudden change in topic.

“No?”

Sephiroth stood and said, “Then I will be taking my leave.”

Cloud’s brow furrowed, and he caught Sephiroth’s wrist.

“Why? I don’t think you believe me, yet.”

“Because your hypers are wearing off, and I am very familiar with the crash that will be hitting you momentarily.”

Cloud looked sheepish when Sephiroth looked back at him. He dropped his wrist to ruffle his hair.

“You noticed the shakes, huh? Guess I should have known you would. Give me a minute, I’ll take some more, and we can finish this. I want you to get what you came for.”

Cloud climbed out of bed, heading to his nightstand on legs that looked about as steady as a newborn colt’s. It made Sephiroth’s heart do something strange in his chest again, that Cloud seemed to take this in stride, that he seemed completely unbothered by his body’s strain. It made him feel stranger, that Cloud felt so obligated to make sure he got whatever he needed, at the cost of ignoring his own physical needs. He understood the concept, that Safeguards were there to provide their clients with whatever they needed during their timeslots, as long as it was within reasonable boundaries. He understood that Cloud felt he was doing his job, if not that he was helping a friend—or a friend of his boyfriend, at least.

But he didn’t _like_ watching Cloud neglect himself for his sake, and that was odd in its own right. Because Cloud’s welfare was not his business. _Cloud_ was not his business. It would be so generous it made little sense to even call them friends, and Sephiroth did not care for the wellbeing of anyone who wasn’t his friend, unless they were under his command and therefore his responsibility. Cloud was neither. He didn’t understand why he _cared_.

He didn’t even realize what happened until Cloud looked back at him. When he looked pointedly down, Sephiroth followed his gaze, and realized that he had caught Cloud’s wrist.

“I have what I came for. There’s no need.”

Cloud didn’t look like he believed him.

“Do you believe, now, that Genesis and Angeal love you, the way they say they do?”

“I believe you have made a very convincing argument for their case, and I will need to think the rest over on my own.”

Cloud paused, considering. The longer he took, the more anxious Sephiroth felt, because he had to watch him tremble on unsteady legs as they waited, when all he wanted was to push Cloud to sitting. Eventually, Cloud nodded, and looked satisfied.

“Alright, then. If you need someone to knock sense into you again, you know where I am.”

Sephiroth gave his breath-laugh again, and stepped away, letting Cloud’s wrist slide from his grip.

“Thank you, Cloud. I appreciate what you’ve done for me today.”

Cloud waved him away and sat back on the bed, much to Sephiroth’s relief.

“A friend of Zack’s is a friend of mine. You’re welcome here anytime—at least, when I’m not booked.”

There was a scolding on the tip of his tongue. If he had known him better, he would have reprimanded him for taking so many bookings, if it worked him to this level of exhaustion. But he didn’t feel it was his place; for all that Cloud seemed to read him well, they still weren’t that close. He nodded instead.

“Get some rest,” was the closest approximation he would allow himself to actually say.

Cloud smiled at him in response, and it was soft at the edges, but Sephiroth thought that might have been more from sleepiness than sentiment.

“I hope your talk with the others goes well.”

“It will go how it goes.”

Cloud rolled his eyes, but he also laughed. Then a yawn escaped him that he couldn’t fight back, and his eyes drooped—the hypers _were_ wearing off.

“I will take that as my cue,” Sephiroth said. “Goodnight, Cloud.”

“Night, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth stepped from the room, closing the door just a second after he heard Cloud flop over onto his side on the mattress.

As he walked away, he hoped he wasn’t intending to sleep in that uniform. He knew full well how uncomfortable it was to sleep in leather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cloud apparently doubles as a therapist now


	11. Chapter 11

“Cloud. Psst, hey, Cloud.” Someone pushed at his shoulder. “Wake up, sleepy head. You know what time it is?”

“Not time to get up,” Cloud grumbled, grabbing slapping his hand around, looking for his blanket. Then he realized he was on top of it. He grabbed a pillow to put over his head instead.

He heard a familiar laugh, but was too tired to place it.

“It is. You gotta get up.”

“I set my alarm, and it hasn’t gone off yet, so I don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I have to talk to you, and your first booking is in half an hour. C’mon, this is important, please?”

Cloud peeled the pillow back and cracked an eye open to slant a look at the speaker. It was Zack. Of course it was.

“They have to stop letting you wander around the Safeguard floor,” Cloud mumbled, rolling back over and putting the pillow back in place.

“Pleaaaaase? Cloud, I swear, it’s _actually_ important.”

“Last time you said that, you were just worried about missing the waffle machine in the cafeteria.”

“Okay, _yeah_, but it’s really, _really_ important this time. It’s about Angeal.”

Cloud groaned. That _was_ important.

He tossed the pillow to the side, not caring where it landed. He sat up, yawning and ruffling his hair, crossing his legs when he was upright. His eyes were still only half-open when he looked at Zack, but he could see the nervousness in Zack’s grateful smile. He sighed, and it turned into another yawn halfway.

“Okay, go on, tell me what you’ve gotta.”

He already knew exactly what it was, by the topic and the hint of nerves on his face.

“You remember what Angeal told me?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you remember what we promised when we first started dating? About romantic feelings for other people?”

“Spit it out, Zack.”

“I do have feelings for him. I don’t think that crush ever really went away.”

Cloud yawned again, not even fully done when he started saying, “Well, I could have told you that.”

“What?”

He rubbed at his eye and said, “C’mon, Zack. You know how many stories you’ve told me about him with these goo-goo eyes you get? You even do this dreamy sigh when you talk about him sometimes. And I _know_ you weren’t attached at the hip when he was your mentor _just because _he was your mentor.”

Cloud carefully didn’t mention that he got those goo-goo eyes and dreamy sigh when talking about all of the Firsts. He figured that was just how he talked about his close friends. He was trying very hard not to read too much into it right now.

Zack sighed and rubbed at the back of his head.

“Shit. That obvious, huh?”

“You bet.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything? You gave _Angeal_ a reality check.”

“Because I was being selfish.” And being willfully blind about what that might mean about the other Firsts, which he was going to go right back to doing, thank you very much. “If you knew, you were going to go tell him. Either he’d say yes, and you’d run off together and leave me behind, or he’d say no, and you’d come to me with your heart broken and it’d break _my_ heart to see. Then I saw how he felt, and it seemed important that he tell you, and even more important that you figure it out on your own.”

Zack smiled at him fondly and said, “I ever tell you you’re too smart for your own good?”

Cloud gave him a barely-awake smile and said, “No, but you can start.”

Zack leaned forward to kiss him, and Cloud laughed against his mouth.

“So, what’s the plan, then?” Cloud asked when they leaned away.

“About how smart you are? Dunno.”

He swatted Zack’s arm and said, “About Angeal, smartass.”

“Not sure, that’s what I came here to talk about.”

“If you want to date him, that’s fine.”

Zack looked him over carefully.

“Do you mean that, or are you just saying it because that’s what you think I want to hear?”

Cloud looked a little sheepish at that.

“I get the question, I do, but I mean it. You already promised you’re not leaving me. As long as we stay together, and you don’t forget about me, it’s fine.”

Cloud, privately, thought that even if Zack forgot about him, he wouldn’t raise a fuss. He knew, and he suspected Zack knew, that he would let him slide through his fingers if it came to that. If what Zack wanted was Angeal, and not Cloud anymore, he would let that happen; if only one of them could be happy, he’d rather it be Zack, and besides, Angeal did deserve him more than Cloud did. If Zack sincerely wanted them both, it would be on him to figure out how to have both. Cloud would be making no demands. He just wanted Zack happy.

“I’m _not_ going to forget you,” Zack said, pointedly, as if he knew what Cloud was thinking. “Even if I date Angeal. Loving someone else doesn’t mean I love you less. This isn’t a zero-sum game.”

Cloud wasn’t convinced of that. He knew, in the abstract, that it was a thing that happened, probably. But in Nibelheim, you loved one person, and that was it. Every time he’d ever heard of someone having an affair or a mistress, they ended up loving the newcomer instead; they might stay with their partner, but they didn’t love them anymore, not really. Gaia knew how many clients fell in love with him and tried to leave their partners for him before he cut them off. In his experience, when you started to love two people, you were a breath away from leaving the first. But he’d made his peace with that already.

Despite his convictions, he said, “Of course it’s not. You’ve got a big heart, Zack, I’ve always known that.”

Zack didn’t look convinced that _Cloud_ was convinced, but he couldn’t call him on it without calling him a liar.

“Do you have any… I don’t know, terms? Anything you do or don’t want me to do with him, anything you want me to report back to you about?”

Cloud laughed and waved this away.

“Zack, c’mon. I’m not trying to make my relationship with you more important than your relationship with him. You don’t have to treat me like I’m special.”

“But—”

“No. I’m not trying to make this a hierarchy.”

Zack sighed and said, “Fine. I’ll go talk to him. But expect him to stop by; he said he was going to check with you to be sure I really did talk to you.”

Cloud leaned forward to kiss him, and Zack met him halfway.

“Go on, then; I get the feeling that’ll be a more taxing conversation than mine will be. Tell him to call the desk and check for an opening before he stops by.”

Zack hummed, and when he leaned away, he was more serious than he was before.

“Speaking of, why did Sephiroth ask me about your hyper usage?”

Cloud blinked in surprise.

“Uh…”

“Cloud, were you marathoning again? We talked about that.”

“Listen, a couple of people are sick, and a few more are out of town—you know that big SOLDIER mission that just left? They’re going to be gone a while, they took a few of us with them. We’re short-staffed is all, it wasn’t—why I usually do it.”

Zack looked at him suspiciously.

“If I check with the desk, are they going to tell me the same thing?”

“I _promise_ they will. Seriously, I was just covering.”

“Were you covering more than everyone else?”

“… Maybe? Come on, someone had to take those appointments.”

“Maybe, but they don’t all have to be your responsibility. I pressed Seph for why he was asking, and he said he worked yourself to shaking again. He thought it was just a crash from the hypers, but I know you better.”

“I can’t believe the General’s a _snitch_.”

“He’s not a snitch, he was _worried_.”

“He didn’t strike me as the type to _get_ worried,” Cloud said, a furrow in his brow.

“He isn’t. Which means you either made a hell of an impression, or you were _way_ worse than you’re letting on right now.”

“It wasn’t that bad! I don’t know why he cares so much, I told him day one that he doesn’t have to worry about me.”

“What happened day one that made him worry? He really _doesn’t_ worry about people he’s just met.”

“He just left a few bruises is all, nothing the mako wouldn’t have fixed in half an hour, I still don’t know why it bothered him.”

Zack knew why it would bother most people, but not why it bothered _Sephiroth_.

“Most people aren’t into leaving bruises.”

“Most _SOLDIERs_ end up leaving them anyway, and you boys are so used to violence that it doesn’t bother that many of them.”

Zack scratched at the back of his neck; he didn’t know what to make of it either.

“He has seen enough shit that I wouldn’t think a few bruises would bother him,” Zack mumbled, then shook his head, climbing out of the bed. “That’s not a ‘now’ problem, that’s a ‘later’ problem. Let me go talk to Angeal. Don’t take too many appointments to cover for your absentees or I’m gonna talk to the desk, okay?”

“_Zack_,” Cloud whined.

“_Okay?_”

“But that means someone else would have to do them!”

“Yeah, but no one other than you is crazy enough to try and book their day solid. I’m gonna check in with the desk later and make sure you listened, get me?”

Cloud bat his eyelashes and said, “What, Zack, you don’t trust me?”

Zack laughed outright and bent at the waist to kiss him; Cloud tilted his face up to accept.

“Trust you not to be self-sacrificing? Never.”

“You’re not _really_ gonna call, are you?”

“Swear to Gaia I am. Don’t make me come down here and yell at you tonight.”

Cloud sighed, but waved him away.

“Go have your big talk with Angeal and get out of my hair.”

Zack pressed one last kiss to his lips before saying, “Wish me luck!”

“Luck!” Cloud called, just in time for Zack to duck out of the door.

Cloud sighed and flopped back on his bed.

“I can’t believe _Sephiroth_ snitched on me.”


	12. Chapter 12

Zack was more anxious than he anticipated as he made his way up to Angeal’s. Every step closer he got made the nerves ratchet up a little higher. And that was _odd_, because he wasn’t on his way to go have a _bad_ conversation. This was actively a _good_ one—or at least, it was supposed to be. If everything went right. There was the chance that something had changed, and now he had gotten his hopes up, and he still wasn’t sure of what to make of the whole situation.

Cloud had said it was okay, and he’d done what he could to reassure him that nothing would change between them, but he couldn’t help but feel like Cloud was drifting away. That Cloud was ready to lose him, ready and willing to let him go at the first sign that it was what Zack wanted. That would keep him from getting attached; you couldn’t grow close to someone you were preparing to lose. And he didn’t want that, but he _did_ want Angeal. He was determined that, if the only thing standing in their way was Cloud’s self-esteem, he would find a way around it. He’d been trying to get Cloud to see himself the way Zack saw him as long as he’d known him, and it hadn’t worked yet, but it had to sooner or later.

Zack was still turning this over when he knocked on Angeal’s door. He paused for a while, but when he heard no answer, he knocked again. He listened for sound of movement inside, but heard nothing. This wasn’t completely abnormal; Angeal was at Genesis’s pretty regularly. He could be at his office, but it was much too early in the morning for that. He considered calling, but a part of him was still trying to stall, so he made his way down to Genesis’s.

He got the same response there.

Zack propped his hands on his hips, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. He paused for a long moment, then considered they might be at Sephiroth’s for an early breakfast. It was worth a shot. He went over there, and when he knocked on that door, he heard muffled voices from inside. Letting out a breath (of relief or a nervous sigh?), he resolved to wait.

There was more talking from inside, then footsteps. Sephiroth opened the door, in a state of undress Zack had never seen. He was wearing only tight boxer briefs (Cloud really hadn’t been kidding about him being hung, huh?) that left nothing to the imagination. He hummed in recognition and stepped aside to let him in; if he noticed where his eyes drifted, he decided not to mention it.

“Angeal,” Sephiroth called. “For you.”

Sephiroth nodded into the apartment and led the way to the kitchen, where he began making coffee.

And that was odd. What were Genesis and Angeal doing here this early if not for breakfast? And why was Sephiroth so undressed?

“Who is it?” Angeal called from down a hall.

“Hey, ‘Geal!” Zack called.

“Your puppy, your problem,” he heard Genesis grumble, still half-asleep. There was the rustling of fabric, some footsteps, the rustling of more fabric, and Angeal came out of a room, dressed almost exactly as Sephiroth was, only his underwear was striped, instead of black.

“Morning, Zack,” Angeal said as he came down the hallway. He was smiling, but his eyes were considering, nearly wary.

“Morning,” Zack answered, beaming back at him, trying to smother the thoughts starting to spring up in his mind. Before he could succeed, one slipped free. “You guys have a slumber party? Thought you’re a bit old for that.”

He heard Genesis laugh from down the hall and Sephiroth go still in the kitchen behind him. Angeal winced. He looked between Angeal and Sephiroth in confusion, trying to hope he was misunderstanding.

“I say something wrong?” Zack asked as Sephiroth turned to face him, confusion on his face.

“Did Cloud not tell you? I thought he would have exempted you from any promises of secrecy.”

Zack’s brow furrowed, Cloud coming as a blindside; he had no idea how _he_ played into this.

“If Cloud said he was gonna keep a secret for you, he’d keep it, even from me. He’s good for his word, and he doesn’t make exceptions unless you tell him it’s okay.”

Sephiroth hummed his acknowledgement, but his eyes cut to Angeal. Zack followed his gaze to see his old mentor sigh and run a hand through his messy hair.

“Go back to bed, Seph, and close the door behind you. Zack and I have to talk.”

Sephiroth nodded and slipped past them, back to what must have been the bedroom, a door clicking shut behind him. Zack could hear Genesis say something to him and the creaking of springs as he and Angeal stared at each other.

“Okay, can you, uh, explain what’s going on here? Because I can’t help but come to some conclusions, and I gotta say, they’re a little confusing, given the conversation we have to have.”

Angeal sighed, and went to finish the job of making coffee that Sephiroth had started.

“This was going to be a lot easier when I thought Cloud had told you.”

“I thought Sephiroth paid him the usual sort of visit, when he mentioned it last night. I’m guessing he didn’t.”

“He went to go use him as a sounding board. You know, the way he usually does with the three of us?”

“But he couldn’t, because it has to do with us?”

“Right.”

“Angeal, whatever you have to say, can you just say it?”

He watched his hands go still in the process of making coffee. Then he lowered the lid, and the machine bubbled to life. He turned around, and when he looked at Zack, his expression was serious.

“Genesis and I have been sleeping with Sephiroth, separately, off and on for a long time. Frankly, I’m a little surprised he never asked you to go to bed with him, but I expect he would have gotten there sooner or later. Anyway, he’s always been hesitant to approach us, because he thought he was coming between us. Genesis thought it might set those fears to bed, if the three of us all went to bed together. The particulars are a little complicated—the whole _thing’s_ a little complicated—but we all got a little more… involved, than we were expecting.”

Zack, who had always had a quick mind despite his tendency to goof around, nodded slowly, as understanding came over him.

“It got you all to understand how you feel about each other.”

It wouldn’t be the first time he’d caught looks shared between them. He’s just thought he was imagining what he saw, up to this point, certain that they would tell him if they were all dating, the way Angeal and Genesis had told him they were a couple.

Angeal smiled gratefully at him, but it faded quickly.

“Right.”

“But how does Cloud come into this?”

Angeal sighed and said, “Sephiroth didn’t believe us about our feelings; you know how he gets, about thinking he’s inhuman. He needed someone outside the equation to logic it out for him before he would consider it was possible. I don’t know Cloud very well, but I know that, if he’s good at anything, it’s giving people realizations they need to have. He would have gone to you, but I told him what I told you; he needed to know, if we’re going to try and make this mess work out.”

Zack’s heart perked up from where it had plummeted to between his boots.

“Then, you still…?”

Angeal’s whole face softened. He smiled gently.

“Of course, Zack. Sephiroth doesn’t change what I feel for you, any more than Genesis does.”

Zack paused to consider this new information, before deciding that, if anyone could make this work, it was someone down-to-earth, honest, and compassionate like Angeal. He nodded.

“It took me a while to sort out, but I do love you,” Zack admitted, something almost a little shy in his stance and his voice. “If you’re still interested.”

Angeal’s eyes lit up, and he pushed away from the counter to approach Zack. He fit his hand to the curve of Zack’s cheek.

“I am. Very much so.”

“Like, uh. Dating?”

Angeal laughed softly.

“Yes, Zack.”

“Even with Sephiroth and Genesis and you being a thing? You still want me on the side?”

“Not on the side; my relationship with you wouldn’t be lesser than what I have with them. But whether or not you would also like to date them is for you three to work out.”

That was—too much to think about, right now.

“Uh, right. Sure. Of course.”

Then Angeal’s brow puckered, and he said, “You did talk to Cloud, didn’t you?”

Zack nodded.

“Of course. I just left. You wanna talk to him and double-check?”

“Not that I don’t trust you, but yes. I’ll go by later today, before we do anything.”

And that was something Zack hadn’t taken into account, when he had thought that Angeal would go by whenever Cloud was free. He—he was just _standing there_ all _close to him_ wearing _almost nothing_ and looking absolutely incredible, and—no, he was going to find a way to sort this out now, because he wanted to be able to put his hands on Angeal without there being protests.

“Here, hold on, one sec.”

Angeal pulled his hand away as Zack rummaged in his pocket, pulling out his PHS. He selected a number on speed dial and pressed it into Angeal’s hand, who raised it to his ear and waited, looking amused at Zack’s urgency.

“The hell are you calling me about?” Cloud said by way of greeting when he picked up. “You just left, and you turned off my alarm, you bastard, because you knew I’d kick you out if it went off, and now I’m running late, my first appointment is going to be here any second, and do you know how unprofessional it will be if I’m on a call when he walks in?”

“I’ll make this quick, then,” Angeal said, a laugh in his voice.

“Oh. _Oh_. Angeal. I, uh, hey. You need something?”

“Just to double check that Zack talked to you.”

“Right, he mentioned you’d want to check in. Yeah, he talked to me. You two have my OK to do whatever. If you’re going to fuck, try edging him, he likes that. Go far enough that you have to grab him at the base to stop him from coming, and do it at least three times; he’ll ask nicely after the second, but he’ll want you to keep going, he just doesn’t like to admit it because he’s got these stupid tough guy ideas about SOLDIER dignity. He likes it when you _really_ make him beg, you’ll know it when you hear—”

Zack, red in the face by this point, having heard every word thanks to his enhanced hearing, snatched the phone out of Angeal’s hand, who was staring down at him, both amused and a little predatory (and he’d never seen Angeal look like _that_, gods, that was both surprising and a turn on).

“Okay, Cloud, I think you gave him enough tips,” Zack said, scowling up at Angeal, who grinned down at him, settling his hands on Zack’s hips.

“Oh, hey, Zack. _That_ was for nearly making me late. Now I’m gonna hang up before I actually _am_ late, since I hear my client coming down the hall. Have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t, and if I find out you begged for him earlier than you would have begged for me, I’m gonna make you regret it. Love you, bye!”

Cloud hung up the call. Angeal and Zack stared at each other.

Zack opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Angeal called down the hall, “Zack and I are going back to mine. I’ll see you two later.”

“Have fun, love,” Genesis called. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

Zack and Angeal both laughed at that; if Genesis and Cloud had anything in common, it was that they could both be terrors when they wanted to.

“We will leave enough coffee and breakfast for you both, whenever you’re finished,” Sephiroth said. “Let yourself in and help yourself to what you’d like.”

“We can go to the cafeteria, Seph,” Angeal said, glancing down the hall, but a small, fond smile was on his lips.

“Don’t waste his hospitality because you know I’m not nice enough to have offered,” Genesis said, and Angeal laughed.

“Well, Zack?” Angeal said, lowering his voice. “Want to come back here for breakfast, or will it be too weird, do you think?”

Was it a little weird to come to his boyfriend’s boyfriend’s apartment for breakfast after they presumably fucked? Yeah, yeah it was. But he’d have to get used to this particular brand of weirdness sooner or later; better to get the growing pains out of the way. Besides, Sephiroth was a great cook, and splurged on the good coffee beans from Mideel. It would beat the hell out of cafeteria breakfast.

“Only if you help me work up an appetite, first,” Zack said, an impish grin curling on his face.

Genesis made a disgusted sound from the bedroom, making it clear they hadn’t been quite quiet enough.

“Go and fuck before I drag you back here and fuck you myself,” Genesis called.

“Maybe I’ll have to wear _you_ out, before you cause trouble,” Sephiroth said, his voice low enough to make an attempt at privacy, and the kind of seductive purr that Zack had _certainly_ never heard before.

Genesis made a noise of interest and said, “Not if I wear you out first.”

Angeal rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Zack’s shoulders, steering him toward the door.

“Let’s get out of here; they’re going to follow through on that, and probably break a few things in the process.”

“Is that normal, for them?” Zack asked as Angeal pulled him through the door, a crashing sound chasing them out that said Angeal had been correct in his estimate.

“Unfortunately,” Angeal said, leading Zack down the hall.

“Seems like more trouble than fun.”

“They’re pretty much the same in the bedroom as they are out of it; they go at it like cats if someone else isn’t there to rein them in. I had hoped that realizing their feelings would temper things, but apparently that isn’t going to work all the time.”

Zack laughed, as they closed the short distance to Angeal’s apartment, and he let them in.

“Good thing they’re in Seph’s place—if anyone has the gil to replace what they break, it’s him.”

“As long as they break their own things and not the VR Rooms, it’s their problem,” Angeal said, before crowding Zack back against the door as soon as it shut behind them. “Now, I think Cloud said something about you begging?”

Zack hissed in a sharp breath, and could feel the way his eyes went as dark as Angeal’s.

“He’s gonna get it for that one.”

“Maybe,” Angeal hummed. “But I think _you_ might get it first.”


	13. Chapter 13

Cloud… had not been expecting this.

He had known that Zack and Angeal were going to be together now. He understood that. He’d be aware that this was where things were going to end up ever since he told Angeal how he felt, but he had his final confirmation with that PHS call where he’d given Angeal tips on how to best fuck Zack. He wasn’t _upset_ by this turn of events. He’d had plenty of time to come to terms with the situation, even and especially the possibility that it would mean Zack would leave him for Angeal, despite what Zack had said so far about that. Really, it wasn’t their relationship that was taking him by surprise.

It was the way _their_ relationship was starting to involve _him_.

They didn’t do combined dates. Cloud rarely saw Zack and Angeal at the same time. But Zack did gush about Angeal to him, told him about all the sweet gestures and tenderness and the way he fucked him hard in spite of those things. This would have bothered Cloud more, but he tended to tell him these things while he was holding Cloud, and that made him feel more secure. Besides, he didn’t mind hearing about the details. If he was careful, he could pretend Zack was talking about anything that made him happy, just listen to the tone more than the words, and that made it easier. He did love few things as much as seeing Zack as happy as Angeal made him.

Even the way Zack babbled about Angeal with his heart in his eyes wasn’t that surprising. What _really_ took him off guard was the way Angeal kept showing up to the Department.

He didn’t really _mind_, per se. He always made an appointment, and that was a full timeslot where Cloud could just sit around in comfortable clothes and talk instead of working. And, as much as he wanted (but wouldn’t admit to wanting) to hate Angeal for what he was probably going to cost him, he couldn’t actually manage. Angeal _was_ all of the things Zack said he was. He was kind, and sweet, and gentle. He didn’t take Cloud’s shit, but would joke back when he gave him a hard time. He was patient, and it didn’t seem to bother him when Cloud occasionally tried to push his buttons, just to see if he could get him to lose his temper (he was still trying to find _something_ to dislike him for).

(If he knew that Cloud was trying so hard to hate him, he didn’t seem bothered by it.)

(He definitely knew, he just also understood the impulse, and didn’t hold it against him.)

Befriending Angeal wasn’t something he expected—and he _was_ befriending him, despite his best attempts at the opposite. He found himself smiling and laughing no matter how many times he promised himself when Angeal was absent that he wouldn’t do that next time. He was just a lot of things that Cloud genuinely liked in a person. He liked his warmth, the way he could be both soft and stern, the way he didn’t seem to feel the need to apologize for what was happening, but also didn’t seem to need Cloud to apologize, either. He was funny, and he cared more than he arguably should, and every now and then he told a joke that bit just right in a way that he was certain he had picked up from Genesis, though it was always delivered with a glint of mischief and joy in his eye.

The whole situation was winding Cloud up in the worst ways.

He wanted to hate Angeal, but couldn’t. He found himself _liking_ Angeal instead, trusting him more than he wanted to, letting his guard down more than he intended. He was letting Angeal in when he wanted to keep him out. It was like the man was a weed and he was the sidewalk and Angeal was just going to pry his way through no matter how much Cloud tried to stop him. He was growing increasingly frustrated, with both himself and Angeal, with every visit. Every time he left, Cloud found himself cursing, occasionally throwing something across the room in a rare fit of temper.

As long as he truly believed Angeal was going to take Zack from him, this friendship forming between them wasn’t going to sit right with him. Never mind that Cloud wasn’t going to protest when Zack wanted to leave; he wouldn’t have wanted to leave, or at least not as soon, if Angeal wasn’t in the picture how he was. But Zack, for the moment, was content with what he had, and showed no signs of trying to move forward and leave Cloud behind.

This left Cloud uncertain of where he stood.

It was a dilemma, and he needed a solution.

The one that came to him was… arguably not the best idea. It would either bind them all closer or piss Zack off. These possibilities had Cloud stewing on the idea for a long time. But, eventually, he came to his conclusion. If they all became closer, became one unit instead of two halves circling each other around the point that hinged them, then that was fine. If this tore everything apart and got Zack to finally make a decision and end things, then that was fine too. At least it would get him out of this terrible state of limbo that was making him want to crawl out of his own skin.

He knew Angeal was coming later that day. He had gotten his appointment schedule from the front desk in the morning, the same as always, and seen Angeal’s name down for his last appointment. He liked to take the last slot, to give Cloud a chance to wind down after work before he had to go to sleep, or to relax before Zack came to see him for the evening. It was terribly considerate of him, and only made Cloud more conflicted.

Cloud spent his entire day thinking about his last appointment for the day, about when Angeal would walk through his door. He knew he couldn’t plan everything out to the T, so he just planned for the very beginning. He went in circles about what he wanted to do, and he knew he didn’t perform his best that day as a result, his mind too wound up in what he was plotting.

Still, despite all his planning and plotting and calculating, he was pacing his room as he waited for Angeal to show up. His hands were buried in his pockets so he wouldn’t wring them and he just walked from his door to the foot of his bed and back, over and over, until he heard the knock on his door. He froze in place for half a second, but turned by the time the door opened. He was at the foot of his bed by that point, but as Angeal entered and smiled at him, closing the door behind him, he marched his way up to the man. Angeal’s brow furrowed in confusion as he got closer, and closer, until he grabbed him by the front of his SOLDIER issue top and crowded him back against the door.

It looked, from his expression, that Angeal’s first thought was that they were about to fight, and that he clearly didn’t want to come to blows, especially when he didn’t know what the problem was. He clearly didn’t expect Cloud to grab him by the back of the neck and tug him down into a kiss.

It was the shock that let Cloud get as far as he did. He managed to kiss Angeal’s mouth open in his surprise, his tongue slipping inside as he pressed them together, as close as they could get. He kissed him, and kissed him, and there was no response, so he nipped Angeal on the lip to get him to do something, _anything_, just _respond_ to him in some way. His heart was pounding, the blood rushing so loud in his ears that he could hardly hear. His fingers were white-knuckled in Angeal’s shirt and his nails bit into the back of his neck where he held him.

The nip did what he wanted it to, in a way. Angeal finally moved. He just didn’t do what Cloud wanted.

He grabbed him by the wrists and pulled him away, looking down at him with a furrowed brow.

“Cloud? What’s going on?”

Cloud looked pointedly at Angeal’s mouth before making eye contact again.

“I think I was pretty clear, Angeal.”

“I thought you knew I wasn’t here for work?”

“Who said this was work?”

“… What?”

Cloud tugged a little in Angeal’s grip, but he wouldn’t relent, so he went still again. He made his eyes burn in a way that he had long since mastered, tilting his head to the side in the coy way people seemed to like.

“You said you don’t fuck strangers. I’m not a stranger anymore. Zack told me he told all the Firsts it was fine to sleep with me. But you haven’t. And maybe I want to.”

Angeal’s brow furrowed deeper, but Cloud could hear the way his heartrate picked up.

“He meant as work. He was talking about Genesis and Sephiroth, because they had already seen you, and had asked about it. Even if he wasn’t, we haven’t talked about this since he and I started dating.”

“Do you have to? He gave his OK to the Firsts. He’s dating me. You’re dating him. That’s one degree of separation at best. What does it matter?”

“I still want to talk to him first. It’s always better to communicate these things before rather than after.”

Cloud put on his most desperate look, widening his eyes just a hair and biting for a moment at his bottom lip “in thought.”

“If he’s mad, you can blame it on me. It’s my idea, anyway. What could it hurt?”

His relationship with Zack, was what it could hurt. But he was so desperate to know where he stood that even that seemed alright at the moment.

Angeal lowered their hands where he held them, the confusion deepening on his face.

“Now that doesn’t sound like you. I know how much you love Zack—you don’t want to hurt him any more than I do. What is this really about?”

Godsdammit. He didn’t account for how perceptive Angeal could be.

“It’s not about _anything_, Angeal. Is it so wrong that I want you in my bed? I fuck people all day long, and I _know_ Zack doesn’t mind.”

“He might mind if it’s me, and I know you know that.”

Cloud tried to step closer, but Angeal held their hands between them as a barrier. Cloud lowered his head and let out an impatient breath.

“Fuck’s sake, Angeal, can you just be a little irresponsible, for once? You aren’t going to be in trouble for this. I already said I’ll take the fall, if there’s any trouble.”

When he looked up, Angeal now looked concerned.

“This isn’t something that just one person can be responsible for, Cloud. If I participate, I’m as responsible as you are.”

“I’m actively talking you into it. It’ll be my fault, if it comes to that. Please, Angeal?”

He gave his best pleading look, but Angeal was just looking at him in consideration, now. Whatever had almost been there was gone, now.

“Why do you make it sound like you know this is a bad idea, and you want to do it anyway?”

“It’s _not_ a bad idea. There’s no reason for either of us to think that. He already told you, Genesis, and Sephiroth that it’s okay. He already told _me_ that he doesn’t care who I fuck.”

“He said both of those things before we started dating. He didn’t account for this when he said that, and I know you know that. If this is what you want, we can ask him and try again later, if he says yes. There’s no rush, and that way there’s no risk of anyone getting in…” A look of realization dawned over Angeal’s face. “Except, you _want_ to be in trouble. Why?”

Cloud stared at him for a long moment before cursing fervently under his breath. He tugged his hands away, and this time, Angeal let him. He ran one through his hair and started pacing again, while Angeal stood at the door.

“Because I’m sick of this waiting game, Angeal. I can’t do it anymore, and I don’t know how else to hurry things along.”

“What are you talking about? There’s no waiting game.”

Cloud laughed, and it was distinctly not the laugh Angeal was accustomed to hearing. It was hard and bitter.

“Not for you, maybe.”

“Not for either of us. What are you waiting for?”

“Do you really need me to say it? I know it’s obvious.”

“It really isn’t, Cloud. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Cloud paused mid-step to glance at him. Angeal raised his eyebrows, and Cloud blew out a hard, swift breath before he began pacing again.

“I’m waiting for when he ends up leaving me for you. I don’t want him to—_Gaia_, I don’t want him to, but the waiting has me in knots. Every godsdamn second winds me up tighter and I know I should be cherishing every moment I have left, but I’m wincing with every other word now just waiting for him to say it’s over, and I—I can’t _do_ it anymore. I thought, maybe, if I got you in bed, maybe it’d be the three of us and I could work with that, maybe it’d last longer, but if that didn’t work, and he got pissed off, then he’d be mad at _me_ and at least it would get us out of this standstill.”

Angeal walked over and stepped in front of him, grabbing him by the shoulders, but the blond wouldn’t look up at him.

“Cloud. _Cloud_. Look at me, please?”

Cloud sighed heavily but looked up, resignation on his face.

“Zack isn’t going to leave you for me. Even if he wanted to, I wouldn’t let him.”

Cloud let out a sharp, bark of a laugh.

“There’s no ‘letting’ about it. If he stops wanting me, it doesn’t matter what you say or do. It doesn’t matter if you tell him not to and send him back to me, it won’t _fix_ anything.”

Angeal shook his head.

“Cloud, if you heard how he talks about you, you wouldn’t worry this way. He loves you. He might love me too, but that doesn’t make him love you less.”

Cloud looked away.

“That’s not how things work. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen it—when you start to love two people, it’s always the first you end up leaving behind. It’s just a matter of when.”

“If that’s how you see it, do you think I’m going to leave Genesis for Zack?”

Cloud faltered.

“Haven’t you been with Genesis for forever?”

“It has been a while, yes. But you said it’s always the first you leave behind. Genesis was there first. Technically, Sephiroth was second, and Zack was last; do you think I’ll leave both of them for him?”

Cloud’s head whipped around.

“_Sephiroth?_”

“Yes. Did Zack not tell you?”

“_No._ How does that even _work?_”

“It’s Sephiroth, Genesis, and I together, and Zack and I separately. If Genesis and Sephiroth want to pursue Zack, or vice versa, it’s up to them. It has nothing to do with me, not after I’ve already gave them my approval.”

“But—how do you—that’s so _many_.”

Angeal shrugged.

“It isn’t conventional, no, but the heart does what it wants. I love who I love, and I won’t apologize for that. I’m pretty sure Zack feels the same way.”

Cloud paused to consider, then ruffled his hair.

“That’s _different_, though. That’s Genesis and Sephiroth and Zack. Not _me_.”

“Do you think that they’re somehow better than you are? That I am? Because we’re SOLDIER, and you’re a Safeguard?”

Cloud pursed his lips, and then tugged on his jacket to straighten it, just for something to do.

“I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have brought it up, I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay.”

Angeal brought a hand up to gently take Cloud’s hand.

“You don’t have to run from me, Cloud.”

Cloud glanced up with a wry twist of the lips and said, “Who’s running? I’m standing right here. I’m just saying _you_ don’t have to be.”

“Do you know that you’re much braver than many SOLDIERs I know?”

Cloud blinked in surprise. His brow raised, and a little bubble of surprised laughter slipped his lips.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s one thing, running into battle, knowing that people will look up to you, and praise you, and give you medals when you come out the other side—and expect that you _will_ come out the other side, even if a bit banged up, because most are too enhanced to fall easily. It’s another to put yourself up for injury and ridicule, knowing you’ll get little thanks, and that most people will pity you and look down on you. You bear a far harder burden than I do, Cloud.”

A disbelieving look twisted his features into something that, on quite a few people, would have become a sneer.

“I let anyone who walks in my door fuck me. I do whatever they ask just because they ask. People look down on me because there’s nothing honorable about what I do. They pity me because it _is_ pitiable. I let people do whatever they want with me and then I thank them for it.”

“Was this your dream, Cloud?”

Cloud looked like he had been slapped.

“Was it—of _course_ it wasn’t. I just needed a roof over my head and food to eat so I did what I had to. When they offered me the job here, I took it because it was better than what I was doing. I never _wanted_ this.”

“You let people take from you because it keeps you safe. I kill people because I’m told to. The world can say what it wants, Cloud, but I’m not proud of that. I talk about SOLDIER honor because, if we don’t hold ourselves to some standards, no one else will. You do what you do, you _survive_ what you do, with no thanks, with no one telling you you’ve done well. There is no public praising you, the way they do me for killing people. The way I see it, that takes a lot more courage.”

Cloud looked up at Angeal, utterly bewildered. He couldn’t imagine how he could say that being a Safeguard was harder than being a SOLDIER. It made a certain amount of sense, in that the logic tracked, but it also made no godsdamn _sense_. There was a long moment where Cloud just stared, unsure of what to do next, while Angeal waited patiently for him to reach a conclusion. Eventually, Cloud shook his head.

“Jobs aside. You’re _you_ and I’m _me_.”

“Is that the issue, then? You think I deserve him more than you do?”

Cloud sighed, and he wasn’t sure if it was impatient or just relieved that Angeal finally seemed to get it.

“_Yes_.”

Angeal released his hand and cupped his face, tilting it up, and for a split second, Cloud thought that maybe they were backtracking, and maybe Angeal _was_ going to fuck him. His pulse immediately spiked as he got his hopes up, and then they weren’t quite dashed so much as doused when, instead of kissing his lips, Angeal pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Cloud, I can’t make you see that you deserve him. I could talk all day about how incredible I think you are, and I don’t think you would ever believe me. So, no—if this is the heart of the issue, I can’t fix it for you. You will have to keep waiting until you see he isn’t going to abandon you, and I expect that will be hard, but your only other option is to leave him first. Do you want to do that?”

Cloud’s brow furrowed.

“Of course I don’t.”

“Then you’ll just have to wait. If you really want to go to bed together, for a reason that isn’t trying to get Zack mad at you, then we can all talk about it. You’re a beautiful man, and I do care about you. I’m not saying no, I’m just not going to let you use me to self-destruct; it won’t be good for any of us. Is that fair?”

Cloud sighed, and slumped forward; Angeal allowed him to rest his forehead on his chest, and brought his arms around Cloud’s shoulders. Cloud wrapped his arms around Angeal’s waist.

“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to—use you. I just… couldn’t figure out what else to try.”

“I know that’s not how you meant it. I’m not mad at you.”

Cloud winced a little bit, because now there was _another_ person not mad at him when they should be. If Angeal felt it, and held him a little tighter, he also didn’t say anything about it.

“Will you stay? Just for a little. We don’t have to do anything, I just—”

“Yes, Cloud. Of course.”

With that, Angeal picked Cloud up around the waist, and carried him over to the bed. He sat on the edge of it and deposited Cloud in his lap, who immediately wrapped his legs around Angeal’s hips and his arms around his neck, burying his face in the soft collar of his shirt. Angeal held him, and neither said anything for a long while.

If it was a little more intimate than they usually were, and not in the way Cloud had intended when Angeal had arrived, neither said anything about it.


	14. Chapter 14

His PHS was ringing.

It was ringing, and it shouldn’t be. It was still dark in his room. When Zack checked the time on his still-ringing PHS, he saw it was almost one in the morning. He sat up in bed, wondering what was going on, and why Angeal was calling him at such a weird hour. It wasn’t like Angeal was the type to go out partying and he just got home.

“What’s got you calling in the middle of the night?” Zack said around a yawn, rubbing his eye. “Sorry, did I wake you? I was hoping you might still be up.”

“I usually would be, but my mission got back later than expected, and I was beat. But _you’re_ not usually up at this hour.”

“I can come ask in the morning, there’s no rush, and you ought to sleep.”

But Zack was already waking up, and growing more concerned at the hesitance in Angeal’s tone.

“If it’s important enough for you to call this late and sound that worried, we should talk about it now. What’s going on?”

There was a pause, then a long sigh.

“Would it bother you if Cloud and I went to bed together?”

Zack blinked. Not what he was expecting. Especially not at 0100.

“Uh, no, I don’t mind? What you two get up to is your own business. If you’re gonna start dating, we should probably all sit down and have a conversation, but short of that, you guys don’t really need me involved.”

“I thought you might feel that way, but I still wanted to check. Maybe you ought to go see Cloud, when you’re up.”

Zack’s brow furrowed as he said, “Why, is he okay? Did something happen?”

“He’s worried, and I don’t think he’s handling it very well. I’m up this late because I just left him—he kept asking me to stay just a little longer, and then apologizing over and over again for asking. Every time he asked he got mad at himself and I needed to calm him back down. He finally fell asleep, but I think waking up with you there would help him.”

Now _Zack_ was worried.

“He doesn’t get clingy like that often, and not with many people. Did he say what’s stressing him out?”

“I think he’s still struggling to adjust to the idea of us being together. He seems… I want to say insecure, but I don’t know if that’s the right word, when he’s so dead sure he’s right.”

Zack rubbed at his brow and sighed.

“He still thinks I’m going to leave, doesn’t he? I didn’t really think I convinced him, but I thought he’d see he was wrong with a little time.”

“He will, sooner or later, it might just take longer than either of us would like. In the meantime, I think it would help if we both took a little extra care with him.”

“Of course, I would have already, but he’s just too damn good at bottling things up. It always comes spilling out in the end, but until he gets to a breaking point, I can’t always tell. It doesn’t help that any time I start to wonder, he distracts me any way he knows how.”

“I get the feeling he likes admitting weakness and asking for help about as much as Sephiroth. Even Genesis will come find me before things get that bad.”

“Yeah that sounds about right. Listen, thanks for telling me. I’ll go to him, see if I can’t help somehow. Thank you for staying with him so long, too; I’m sure he’d be a lot worse if you weren’t there for him.”

“I do care about him as more than my boyfriend’s boyfriend, you know,” Angeal said, but the words were said fondly, with a little chuckle.

“I know. Still, thanks. I don’t know how you got him to ask for as much as he did, but I’m glad he turned to you.”

“You can ask him for the details later, if you want, but maybe _later_.”

“Right. Thank you again, Angeal.”

“I’m just happy to help. Go see if you can’t make things better. I love you.”

Zack was already climbing out of bed and digging around for clothes.

“I love you too, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Zack.”

The call went dead, and Zack chucked his PHS aimlessly in the vague direction of the bed. He didn’t hear it clatter to the floor, so it must have landed in the sheets somewhere. He hurried through dressing, putting on his uniform with the kind of blind familiarity that spoke of long practice. He would have gone in pajamas, but Security would even stop him for being out of uniform.

The second he was dressed, he snatched up his PHS (after fumbling for it in the sheets for a moment) and began hurrying down to the Safeguard Department.

The only thing that stopped him from being fully pissed with himself was the fact that Angeal had been there to help Cloud. He should have known that Cloud didn’t really believe him when he said he wouldn’t leave. He hadn’t believed, even in their first conversation about him dating Angeal, that he was convinced he wasn’t going to be abandoned. He had known then, he had just gotten swept up in everything, and let himself be blinded by Cloud’s acting. He was still learning how to juggle two relationships, and it was remarkably more difficult to do when one partner didn’t feel secure in the relationship but wouldn’t show it.

He understood, logically, that he was no mind reader. He couldn’t have really known what Cloud wasn’t saying. Except that he _had_ guessed at it, and then just let it slip his mind. Without Cloud reaching out, or showing any signs of distress, or ever asking for help, he had nothing to jog his memory. He felt guilty for forgetting, but didn’t really know what he could have done to avoid it.

Either way, there was no changing what had already happened. All he could do was fix things from here.

The front desk was unattended, but there was a single security guard standing at the entrance to the department. Luckily, he knew Zack by now, knew he was dating Cloud and could come and go as he pleased. If he held Zack up and made him call Cloud, the blond would just storm out, grumpy as hell, and tell the guard to get the stick out of his ass, as had happened plenty of times by now. Instead of rehashing those events, the guard nodded, Zack nodded back, and hurried down the hall to the room he only recognized as Cloud’s by the chip in the paint on the doorframe just below his eye level.

He didn’t bother knocking, just slipped inside the room. He left his shoes by the door, silenced his PHS and tucked it into a boot. He took off his harness and belt, carefully setting them by his boots, doing his best not to let the buckles clack against anything. He tip-toed his way over to the bed in the dark, but when he sat on it and it dipped under his weight, Cloud stirred.

Cloud sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands, as he mumbled, “Angeal? Sorry I fell asleep.”

Zack scooted over to be next to him and took one of his hands, kissing his palm. It was enough that Cloud looked over in confusion, the gesture not seeming like one of Angeal’s, and blinked at Zack, two sets of glowing eyes watching each other. Zack smiled a little, and knew Cloud would be able to see it in the dark.

“Hey there.”

“Hey,” Cloud said, turning and tucking one leg in front of himself, letting Zack keep his hand and thread their fingers together. “What’re you doing here?”

“Angeal called me on his way home. Said maybe you’d want some company?”

Cloud pulled his hand away and sighed, running it through his hair.

“Should’ve known,” he said before peeking up at Zack, his brow furrowed. “How much did he tell you?”

“Not much. Just that you were feeling a little… left behind.”

He watched carefully as Cloud pulled in a breath just a little too long before giving him a soft smile, that Zack only knew didn’t really touch his eyes because he was looking for it.

“I don’t feel left behind.”

Zack leaned forward and cupped Cloud’s face between his palms. The kiss he gave him was simple, just a press of the lips, but lasted longer than Cloud would have thought. When they pulled away, Cloud looked confused, and Zack’s expression was a strange mix of fond and sad. He brushed the hair out of Cloud’s eyes, tucking a longer piece behind his ear.

“I know you feel this need to protect everyone from yourself, but you don’t have to, not with me. You’re not going to scare me off. You can tell me how you feel without worrying that you’ll push me away.”

Cloud looked down at his lap for a long moment, his grip tightening around his calf and ankle where his hands were resting.

He started to shake his head as he looked up, saying, “I don’t want to burden—”

“_Cloud_, you won’t. You could never. It won’t be you weighing me down, it’s us carrying the load together. Let me help.”

Cloud looked to the side this time.

“I’m going to say the wrong thing, and then you’ll change your mind.”

Zack wanted terribly to reach out, to touch him softly, but Cloud wasn’t returning any of his gestures, the way he usually did, when he wanted to be touched. Ever since Cloud mentioned his complicated relationship with touch, Zack had been relearning his tells, trying to gauge when it was okay to reach out and when it wasn’t, because he thought that Cloud honestly tended to forget he could tell him not to.

Instead, Zack leaned as far to the side as he could, trying to get in Cloud’s line of sight. When Cloud finally looked at him, he started leaning back, and his gaze followed, even if it was accompanied by a little frown. Zack smiled exactly as softly as he wanted to touch him.

“I’m not going to change my mind, and there’s no wrong thing to say. If we try, and you don’t like how it’s going, we can stop, okay?”

Cloud looked him over a little warily, but pulled in a deep breath, and started talking.

“I wasn’t lying when I said it’s fine for you to date Angeal, and I know you still love me. It’s just that, every time I’ve seen something like this, the first partner always gets left for the second. I’m… afraid that’s going to happen, and I know I wouldn’t try and stop it. He deserves you more than I do, and what matters most to me is that _you’re_ happy. If you want him and not me, that’s fine, and I won’t fight either of you, but waiting for the shoe to drop is _killing_ me.

“I just—I’m tense all the time, and I can’t stop thinking about it, and I feel like I’m always holding my breath because the second I breathe, it’ll happen. I don’t _want_ to lose you. I just want you to be happy. I just can’t relax until I know where I stand and if you tell me you won’t leave, I don’t know that I’ll believe you, and I’m worried that the only way I’ll stop walking on eggshells is if you _do_ leave.”

Zack listened quietly, and then nodded when he finished. He hummed in thought and tapped his finger on his knee, speaking slowly at first.

“The thing about relationships, Cloud, is that they’re not like promotions. Those, if you work hard enough, if you prove you’re good enough, that you can do the job well, you can earn. You can bust your ass and earn a promotion, or you can just know the right people and get one you didn’t deserve because your boss likes you. _Promotions_, you can deserve.

“There’s no _deserving_ in relationships. There aren’t good-person-points you can tally up and say only someone with X number of points deserves to date someone with that many points. Everyone looks for something different in partners. To one person, someone might be a dream come true, and another would hate every second of being with them. It’s not because that person is ‘good enough’ for either of those prospective partners. It’s just a question of who’s compatible.

“You and I are compatible. We fit together right. We’ve both got our edges, and some of them might be a little sharp, but they match up. Angeal and I fit together right too, that’s all. Both of your edges are different, I just happen to fit with them both. Maybe your edges would match up with his too, I don’t know, but _that’s_ what decides whether or not a relationship works. Not who deserves who, or who’s good enough. It’s not a competition, and there’s no way to win. There’s just finding a way to make it work so everyone’s happy.”

Cloud blinked at him. Because, Angeal had been right, there was no way to convince him that he was good enough, or that Angeal didn’t deserve Zack more. But maybe, if deserving someone was never part of the equation, if there wasn’t a bar he was failing to hit, he wouldn’t have to worry as much. If there wasn’t the question of whether or not he was worth enough to keep Zack around, to keep him interested, then there wasn’t really any danger of him leaving. It _wasn’t_ a competition.

It wasn’t a competition.

Cloud surged forward, grabbing Zack’s face and kissing him, their lips pressed together hard but chaste, his brow furrowed in what could have been concentration, or heartache, or relief.

Zack mirrored him, cupping Cloud’s face much more gently, and when they pulled apart, he pressed one last, feather-soft kiss to his lips. It didn’t much matter, because Cloud didn’t go far, scooting and maneuvering a little awkwardly until he ended up seated in Zack’s lap, their legs around each other’s hips, not unlike how he had been sitting with Angeal earlier. He held Zack tightly, burying his face in his neck. Zack held him close with one hand at the back of his head, threaded into his hair, and another running gently up and down his back.

“Does that make more sense?” Zack said quietly.

Cloud nodded and pulled away only far enough that his voice wouldn’t be muffled.

“That wasn’t how I was thinking about it.”

“I thought that might be what was happening.”

They fell quiet, just holding each other, until Cloud’s heart stopped racing. When it did, he lifted his head just enough to drop his forehead against Zack’s shoulder and groan.

“I made an ass out of myself with Angeal,” he sighed.

“What happened?” Zack asked, leaning away a little to let Cloud have room, but Cloud just held on tighter and leaned with him.

“I tried to get him to fuck me. I figured either I could get us to all be a thing together or you would get mad and it’d force you to make a decision.” He carefully didn’t say what he thought that decision would have been. He didn’t have to.

Zack hummed and said, “Is that something you want? All of us together? Because I know Angeal wasn’t mad at you for tonight, he was just worried, and wanted you to be okay.”

“He’s too nice,” Cloud grumbled under his breath.

“Sometimes. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t know. Maybe? I like Angeal, and if that was what we decided to do, I could work with it. But if it’s really just about him and I, and not about who gets to stay with you, then I’d have to think about it more.”

“You don’t have to decide now. I just know that he is interested in at least sleeping with you, since he asked if it’s okay—I told him it was, by the way. He doesn’t sleep with anyone he doesn’t care about.”

Cloud pulled away far enough to kiss Zack again.

“I’ll try to figure out how I feel. In the meantime, I should sleep, I’ve still got work in the morning. Will you stay?”

Zack kissed him again and gave him a bright smile.

“Of course. I even promise not to turn off your alarm and make you late.”

Cloud laughed, and they both started climbing under the blankets they were sitting on.

“And people call _me_ a brat.”

“You are a brat. You’re just rubbing off on me.”

“Don’t act like I’m the bad influence here.”

“Well it couldn’t be _me_, I’m an _excellent_ influence.”

When they were lying flat, Cloud grabbed his pillow and hit Zack in the face with it, making them both laugh.

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

“Love you too, Cloud.”


	15. Chapter 15

Things were not going exactly as expected. 

The first handful of weeks into their relationship had been excellent for Sephiroth. He never felt so cared for, even if he still struggled some days to believe in their love for him. They were doing what he was certain was indulging him, spending most of their time together, just enjoying each other’s company with their new understanding. It felt nearly too good to be true. 

But if he accepted that it was, then he had to accept the true depth of what they all felt for each other. He thought he understood when they began, but the feelings kept running deeper and deeper as time passed, and by the end of the month it was starting to feel like they’d never reach the bottom. 

And that  _ terrified _ him. 

He was not accustomed to feeling things deeply; emotions were something to be stepped on until they disappeared. He was not accustomed to others feeling deeply about him except in hatred. He didn’t know how to handle this. For once in his life, he felt wildly unprepared. He started overthinking everything he said or did with Genesis or Angeal. 

They weren’t used to seeing Sephiroth panic, but it was clear that’s exactly what was going on. They tried abstaining from physical affections, but that seemed to make things worse when they dared to try again. They tried giving him general space, but again, he handled things even worse when they reached back out. 

Sephiroth didn’t have many other friends, so it wasn’t like they could send him to someone else to calm him down. They tried having Zack hang out with him, but the two never really spent time together one on one before, and Sephiroth knew immediately that Zack had been put up to it. He’d been polite in turning him down, as he ever was. Zack had tried needling, saying, with sincerity, that it might not have been his idea, but he still wanted to go for it. Sephiroth has repeated his declination and hung up before Zack could try a third time. 

That was how Genesis ended up grabbing Sephiroth by the shoulders as soon as he walked into his apartment one day, turning him around, and pushing him out of the door, saying, “You have an appointment with Cloud in fifteen minutes. Get going.”

Sephiroth had opened his mouth to protest. He didn’t like that Genesis and Angeal were trying so hard to make him comfortable. He wasn’t used to being cared for that way, and it only made him feel more out of his depth. But, he thought, maybe something without meaning was what he needed. He liked Cloud as a person, yes, but this would be work to him. He was a Safeguard, and by definition, the encounter wouldn’t be emotionally charged. That was the whole point of the department. 

By the time he reached this conclusion, Genesis had pushed him out of the apartment and shut the door behind him. 

He decided that it couldn’t hurt to try. Maybe he just needed something a little simpler, a little more familiar, and he’d feel less at odds. 

So Sephiroth wound his way down to the Department to find that Genesis had, in fact, scheduled an appointment for him. He was shown immediately into Cloud’s room to find the blond in his Safeguard uniform again, putting the finishing touches on the sheets he was changing. He finished tucking a final edge before turning to look at Sephiroth with a smile. 

“It’s been a while; I wasn’t sure you’d come back. But I hear you’re busy lately?”

Sephiroth frowned, but wandered farther from the door and deeper into the room. 

“Who mentioned that?”

Cloud raised an eyebrow and said, “Normally, I’d tell you, but that tone says you’d go chew them out, and I don’t want anyone fighting.”

Sephiroth frowned, but could understand that perspective. It wasn’t like he was wrong about the fact that Sephiroth was planning to go scold the party responsible. 

“I’m assuming, then, that someone has told you about the latest… difficulty.”

Cloud tilted his head and said, “No, but if you want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen.”

Sephiroth shook his head. 

“I didn’t come to talk this time”

Understanding lit Cloud’s eyes. His whole demeanor changed on a dime. Before, he was artless and open, friendly and at ease. Now, it was clear he had switched into a work mindset. His posture shifted, his eyes grew heated as they raked Sephiroth up and down. He exuded confidence and there was the tiniest, almost smug smirk on his face. His hips swung as he approached, stopping just outside Sephiroth’s personal space. 

Part of Sephiroth was disappointed at the transformation. He  _ liked _ Cloud as he was naturally (which was an odd stance considering the situation). This forced distance between them that he wasn’t sure he wanted, but it  _ was _ exactly what he came here for. Something impersonal. Something without meaning. This version of Cloud was the one that could do that for him, so he relaxed. 

“Same rules as last time? Your clothes on, no kissing, no performing, hair-pulling encouraged?”

Sephiroth felt relieved that he remembered. No questions asked, no explanation necessary, just a set of parameters to stick to. He nodded and stepped closer, tugging at the zipper on Cloud’s jacket as the blond slid his hands under Sephiroth’s jacket and onto his hips. He used his grip to pull Sephiroth closer still. 

And that was when Sephiroth stopped thinking, because here, he didn’t have to. There were no standards to uphold, no emotions to tread carefully around, no expectations. This was an entirely selfish exploit. He got his needs met, on his terms, without owing anything to Cloud. 

Still, even without thinking, Sephiroth was careful with him. He remembered the bruises he’d left last time, and how unhappy he had been about it. Even in the rare instances when he started thinking again, and started overthinking as a result, and Cloud dragged his attention back with force, he didn’t forget himself. He was accustomed to enhanced individuals, and he had learned with Genesis where the line of roughness was to not injure someone mako-reinforced. 

When it was over, and Sephiroth sat up, his breathing gradually slowing, Cloud was watching him, smug and sated. 

“There,” he had said. “Now you look like yourself.”

He understood that Cloud did not mean his sex-mussed hair or the way his jacket was tugged out of place. He expected that it was more the look in his eyes and the set of his shoulders. 

He stood and put himself back in order, saying, “Will it be alright if I come back?”

Cloud laughed halfway through sitting up. When he was upright, he crossed his legs and held onto his ankles lightly. 

“You don’t have to ask every time. You’re always welcome here, Sephiroth. And you still don’t have to worry about bruising me—don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Sephiroth shrugged, but did not comment on it, as he said his goodbye and left. 

For the next week after, he was remarkably calmer. He didn’t push back against their affections in his panic. He didn’t panic at all. He was able to be affectionate himself, and stop overthinking. 

Genesis was too busy being pleased with the situation to gloat that his solution had worked. 

But when Sephiroth caught the anxiety building again, he didn’t need to be pushed out the door. He made his own appointment and went down to see Cloud. 

Who answered his door wearing skin-tight shorts that hid nothing, a complicated looking harness, and nothing else. 

As Sephiroth took in the sight (appreciating it more than he expected), Cloud was taking in the angle of his shoulders, the tilt of his eyebrows, how narrowed his eyes were, and deciding if he had guessed right about the purpose of this visit when he picked his outfit. 

Deciding that he very much had been correct, Cloud grabbed him by the jacket and dragged him inside. Sephiroth used the momentum, counter-balanced it, and spun them to pin Cloud against the wall. 

There was no hint of the sincere Cloud this time, just the face he put on for work. Though Sephiroth was a little disappointed, he found he couldn’t begrudge it, as that was exactly why he came here. 

Cloud didn’t give him much time to be disappointed. Sephiroth had shoved him against a wall, but he’d have to work harder for the upper hand if he wanted it. Cloud sank slowly to his knees, watching Sephiroth carefully, asking with his eyes if this was okay. He leaned forward to press a careful kiss to Sephiroth’s crotch, and that was when he blew out a hard breath and nodded his agreement. 

He still disliked the feeling of losing control, especially to anyone who wasn’t Angeal or Genesis. So instead of allowing Cloud to actually do any work, he grabbed him by the hair, being careful not to pull too hard, and thrust forward shallowly. He still refused to be rough with Cloud, and never pressed deep enough that he even risked gagging, but found he very much liked how Cloud looked with his pretty mouth stretched wide around his cock, staring up at him with those big blue eyes that burned. 

When he asked where to come and started to pull out so Cloud could answer, he grabbed Sephiroth by the hips and forced himself all the way down, and Sephiroth had to either allow it or pull Cloud’s hair much harder than he wanted to to stop it. The sudden motion had shocked the first real moan he had given to Cloud out of his mouth, and when Cloud swallowed around him, it was all over. 

Cloud stood slowly, licking his lips as he tucked Sephiroth away again and redid his pants. He reached around him under the jacket and slid his hands into the back pockets of Sephiroth’s pants, leaning well into his space to do so. He smiled and tilted his head. 

“What do you think? Can you go again?” Cloud asked, his expression saying just how interested he was in the answer. 

“In a bit, yes,” Sephiroth answered, leaning down to cup Cloud through his ridiculous shorts. 

Cloud’s smile was more patient than anything right now as he said, “It’s fine, you know. You don’t have to bother.”

Sephiroth paused, a pucker between his brow. 

“That hardly seems fair, and I need a minute.”

Cloud smiled wryly but his eyes said this was an odd sentiment. 

“I don’t care very much about what’s fair, Sephiroth. If you want to get me off, that’s fine, but you don’t have to.”

This time, the pucker in his brow grew deeper, as a small frown formed on his lips. He thought that Cloud didn’t value fairness because he had likely been taught not to expect it, much as Sephiroth had when he was young. But he thought that was too personal a track to go down. 

“Do you not want me to?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“ _ Do _ you want me to, then?”

Cloud looked faintly was exasperated, but was too much of a professional to appear frustrated. 

“Stop worrying about what I want. What do  _ you  _ want?”

“At the moment, to give you what you want.”

Cloud paused, looking just barely baffled. 

“Really, you don’t have to worry about it. This is about you.”

“Yes, and what I want is to make it about you. What would you like, Cloud?”

Cloud looked blatantly confused now. It never mattered what he wanted. Few people every asked, and he never thought Sephiroth would be one of them. Demand to get him off, maybe, the way he had the first time, but not ask what Cloud wanted. People certainly didn’t insist this way, they offered to feel better about what they were doing. 

Then it dawned on him. It must be a control thing again. He wanted things on his terms, wanted to dictate what happened. He had liked making Cloud writhe and beg for release the first time. That must be what he was after. 

Cloud was satisfied with this answer, but it was also dead wrong. 

Sephiroth was disturbed by the way Cloud seemed to always be putting himself second. He understood it was part of the job, but that didn’t mean he had to tolerate it during his own visits. He knew things were not equal here, and had no way to really make them be, but he could do this much. If he had to strong-arm Cloud into being less servile, so be it. 

The problem was, Cloud was drawing a blank. 

Well, not a total blank. What he wanted, as he tended to with most people, was to not be touched or have to touch. Physical contact was something he wanted on rare occasion or with still rarer individuals like Zack, but he didn’t know Sephiroth well enough for that. If he had his way, they would just sit a reasonable distance from each other and talk. He  _ wanted _ to befriend Sephiroth, he just hadn’t really been allowed the opportunity. 

But that wasn’t something he could ask for. There was a right answer to this, and it was to beg for Sephiroth to get him off. Normally, he would have done that immediately. But he liked Sephiroth, and he was Zack’s friend, and it felt almost like a betrayal to lie so blatantly. Which left him pausing too long as he scrambled to find something he wanted that was work appropriate to ask for. 

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes as he watched Cloud hesitate. 

“Tell me whatever it is you really want but don’t want to ask for.”

Cloud hesitated a moment longer, and then sighed heavily. 

“It would be a waste of time and isn’t what you came here for.”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

Cloud watched him carefully, and then began to speak, judging every movement and twitch in his expression. 

“I’d like to just sit down and talk. But, like I said, you didn’t come here to chat.”

Sephiroth blinked, with just a hint of surprise on his face for Cloud to read. That… wasn’t what he was expecting. He thought it would be either a rejection or some sort of kink he wanted to indulge in but not admit to. Not this. 

But he wasn’t opposed. He liked Cloud, from the little time they had spent together. 

Sephiroth removed Cloud’s hands from his pockets and made his way toward the bed, sitting on the edge of it. When Cloud didn’t follow, he looked pointed from his face, to the bed, and back again. He raised an eyebrow. 

Cloud seemed hesitant, almost reluctant. Sephiroth couldn’t guess why. 

It was because he didn’t know who he was supposed to be right now. Sephiroth had arrived looking for a Safeguard, not a friend. He was certain the general was just indulging him for a moment. Should he keep flirting? Should he be honest? Was there a right answer and which was it if there was?

“What was it you wanted to discuss?” Sephiroth asked, hoping to get him to sit by just beginning. It worked; Cloud wandered over and gingerly sat down, leaving space between them. 

“I didn’t have anything in mind. We’ve just never had a chance to really talk, except when you needed advice.”

Sephiroth hummed in acknowledgement. Cloud had been right, this  _ wasn’t  _ what he came here for. He came for a simple, meaningless encounter that would allow him to get his head back on his shoulders correctly. But, he had been able to have meaningless encounters with friends in the past. The SOLDIER Seconds might not have been friends, but they were comrades, and that was close. His early attempts with Genesis had no feeling but ferocity to them. He could keep these separate. 

He thought that, if they had to begin somewhere, the common ground they shared was a reasonable start. 

“How did you meet Zack?”

Something in Cloud unwound at the question. Clients didn’t ask about his boyfriend, but friends did. He didn’t have to keep performing, then. 

Sephiroth could watch the shift from Safeguard to just Cloud himself. He found that he did like it when Cloud stopped playacting, and the difference in his presentation helped keep a line between the sex and the friendship. 

They never ended up actually getting back to what Sephiroth had come for. They talked so long that Cloud’s PHS alarm went off to remind him that the appointment was over and to prepare for his next. Sephiroth looked about as disappointed as Cloud felt. 

It set a tone for their meetings from then on. One way or another, Cloud made sure to at least get Sephiroth, if not always himself, off. But after that was done, they settled in to talk as friends, even if Cloud usually ended up naked or wrapped in just a sheet by that point. 

Strangely enough, once this practice began, Sephiroth was able to go longer without the anxiety creeping up. He was able to, but he didn’t very much want to. He liked spending time with Cloud, and even if he didn’t always need the emotionless release, it gave him a good pretense to make an appointment. He began taking the last time slot, when Angeal and Zack didn’t claim it, so they could talk as long as they liked. More than once, they had stayed up late enough together that Cloud fell asleep mid-conversation, simply unable to stay awake any longer. Sephiroth found that any time it happened, something he couldn’t quite place swelled in his chest. 

If Cloud has the same swelling feeling when he woke and found that Sephiroth had covered him with a blanket before leaving, well, neither knew what was happening with the other. 


	16. Chapter 16

Despite what his open relationship had always made people think, Genesis _was_ a jealous man. It was just that he, of all people, understood that sometimes, sex was just sex. He didn’t covet his partners' touch; he coveted their affection. That had made things a little tricky with Angeal, who would only sleep with people he cared about in some capacity, but after his initial bout of jealous temper, he’d reasoned with himself. There _was_ a difference between platonic and romantic affection, and sex didn’t impact either. He told himself that it was _romantic_ affections he coveted.

That had been what made Genesis so jealous and absolutely furious when he realized Angeal’s feelings for Zack. But him not acting on them immediately gave him the time to adjust, to come to understand that Angeal wasn’t going to leave him, that hearts could be wide enough for multiple romantic interests. That understanding soothed him enough that he was calm and sure of himself when the mess between him, Angeal, Sephiroth, and Zack was thrust into the light.

He was certain that if Angeal had suddenly decided to pursue some random Second, there would have been another jealousy flare. He was comfortable sharing with Sephiroth because he was also with him, and with Zack because he knew him well enough to trust him. For all that Zack’s strongest tie was to Angeal, they all knew each other well. They understood one another. There wasn’t a need to be jealous, because he trusted his partners with each other, and Zack with Angeal.

The problem he was slowly developing was that he was _not_ so familiar with Cloud.

He had nothing against the Safeguard. He owed him quite a bit, for the revelation that led to Sephiroth joining him and Angeal. He owed him for Angeal’s revelation, and the happiness his relationship with Zack brought. He owed him for calming Sephiroth when all their own efforts had failed.

It was too much to owe a stranger. He was too closely tied into their relationships, and it certainly was not helped by the way he seemed to be getting closer to Angeal and Sephiroth.

He found himself thinking of Cloud more and more like an upstart, and that was unacceptable. It was ungrateful of him, considering all he owed Cloud for. He’d done nothing to earn such a title, considering he’d only done his job and accepted friendship when it was offered. The judgement was unfair and unearned, as was the jealousy that burned in his gut. Cloud had made no moves on his partners. He had no reason to believe he would.

He was disappointed with himself for the unwarranted dislike. It was, frankly, beneath him. The burn of the jealousy made him reluctant to follow through on the only solution he could think of but that just made him more certain he had to go through with it.

So Genesis swallowed his dislike and went to visit Cloud.

The only stroke of pettiness he allowed himself was to not call ahead. He arrived in the middle of someone else’s appointment and was required to wait. It was lucky that the next timeslot was open, but the waiting did nothing for his temper. He reminded himself over and over again that Cloud had done nothing to earn his ire, but that only seemed to stoke the fire hotter as he waited in the hallway, arms folded over his chest, staring at the door he’d been led to.

Eventually, the door opened to reveal Cloud in what appeared to be lingerie, some sort of sheer, purple nightgown that did nothing to preserve his modesty, and would have hidden absolutely nothing if it wasn’t for the lace panties underneath, which didn’t hide much more. Cloud’s eyes caught Genesis and he froze for half a second, a furrow coming to his brow, but it smoothed away into a warm smile when Cloud stood on his toes to give the SOLDIER he was showing out his kiss goodbye. The SOLDIER gave Genesis the kind of lazy salute he only tolerated during off hours or in informal settings. But apparently he was doing a poor job controlling his irritation, because the salute tightened into a pristine version when the SOLDIER looked at him closer and read his anger.

Genesis waved his hand dismissively and just walked forward into the room, Cloud having to sidestep out of his path. He kicked the door shut behind him before turning to Cloud.

Who did not seem like the man he met last time. That man had been full of dry sarcasm, a biting wit, and a hint of flame. This man was watching him with simple curiosity, closed off in a way that reminded him of Sephiroth, and that only made him angrier. He turned his back to the Safeguard before he could lose his temper.

The silence lasted until Cloud came up behind him, pressing himself against Genesis’s back. He wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to the red leather covering his shoulder.

“It’s alright,” Cloud said, in a sweet voice he hadn’t heard before. “You don’t have to hold in your temper with me. Whatever happened, I can make it go away, for a moment at least. You’ll feel better after.”

And that only made Genesis _more_ furious. How could he be self-sacrificing at a time like this? He knew this was part of the job, that Cloud must be familiar with serving as a stress reliever, but they were too tightly connected for that. He was dating Zack, who was dating Angeal, and friends with Angeal and Sephiroth besides, growing closer by the day. How could he lie down for Genesis and decide to take whatever he had to give him? He should be demanding better.

He gently pulled Cloud’s arms away from his waist, but his hands shook with restrained anger. He didn’t dare look at him yet, determined to keep what was left of his temper.

“I will not take my anger out on you.”

Cloud didn’t seem to gather the point of having his back turned, or really was self-destructive, because he slipped around to stand in front of Genesis. He didn’t look afraid, or like he was daring himself to do anything. He offered Genesis a warm smile and touched his arm.

“You won’t be taking anything out on anyone. Think of it as me taking your anger from you. Whatever is weighing you down, I can take it on for you. Let yourself relax, if just for a little while.”

Genesis didn’t shrug out from under Cloud’s hand, but he did say in his most biting drawl, “And if what is weighing me down is _you_?”

Cloud went still. He pulled his hand away, and now there was a furrow in his brow.

“Did I do something?”

“_Yes_. You insist on growing infuriatingly close to everyone I care about.”

Cloud clearly didn’t understand, but his confusion disappeared. It was replaced with the kind of analytical expression he expected from Sephiroth. Was this how Cloud always was, or had Sephiroth rubbed off on him?

“Angeal came to _me_. _You_ sent Sephiroth to me. Why did you do that, if it bothers you this much?”

“Because you were supposed to fuck the tension out of him and mean nothing to him, not get _close_ to him.”

Cloud nodded slowly and said, “And you don’t like that some upstart is close to your Firsts.”

Genesis blew out a rush of breath and said, “_Yes_.” He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that Cloud seemed to understand. “I don’t _know_ you, I don’t—I can’t trust you with them.”

“Then get to know me.”

Genesis blinked.

“_What_?”

“You heard me. You’re afraid—that I’ll take them from you, or hurt them, or betray you all, I don’t know. But whatever it is, I know that I won’t. Get to know me, and you’ll know that I won’t, too.”

The idea had merit. It wasn’t what he came down here for; he had planned to scare Cloud into backing off. But this was a better option, if it worked. This way, neither of his boyfriends lost their new friend. He could always scare Cloud off later, if it didn’t work. He nodded slowly.

“Good,” Cloud said, nodding, before he leaned down and pulled off his panties. “But first, you’re going to fuck me.”

“What? _Why_?”

“Because your shoulders are still by your ears, and your eyes are tight, and that’s something I can fix.” Cloud stepped closer, pressing them together again, his hands settling on Genesis’s hips. “I’m why you’re wound up like this. Let me set it to rights.”

Genesis hesitated, because Cloud felt as excellent against him as he had the first time, and the lingerie that hid nothing wasn’t dissuading him. But he didn’t like the idea of Cloud doing this because he felt he owed Genesis something. He didn’t. Genesis owed _Cloud_, not the other way around.

He hesitated long enough that Cloud began to kiss along the underside of his jaw. It made it remarkably harder to keep his hands to himself.

“Stop _thinking_. Let me do this. I want to.”

“I will be rough with you, and you haven’t earned that.”

“I’m built like a SOLDIER, remember? I can take rough.”

“… But—“

“_Genesis_,” Cloud said on a laugh. “Stop worrying. If you saw a monster loose in the streets, chasing civilians, would you step in?”

“Of course—that’s my job.”

“Even if you were off the clock and didn’t have to?”

“Obviously.”

“Well, I’m on the clock, and this is _my_ job, even if I don’t necessarily have to. _Let me_.”

Genesis pulled away to look down at Cloud, and the sincerity on his face went a long way in putting him at ease. He nodded slowly and began steering Cloud toward the bed, walking him backwards while kissing him hotly; it was better if they didn’t talk.

Cloud kissed back with as much fervor. Because he hadn’t been lying to Genesis, per se, but he’d been understating the truth. He felt guilty. He had never wanted to come between anyone, even if he’d only been friendly with Angeal and Sephiroth. He nearly felt ill with it, and he needed to set it to rights.

Genesis clearly didn’t understand that Cloud was used to being not only stress relief, but a punching bag at times. There were accidental bruises from people who forgot their strength, and then there were men like Rufus, who felt the need to hit and hit hard. He was one of the only Safeguards that allowed it; he didn’t always mind the pain, and in the right situation, it could even be a turn on. Letting men he didn’t care about beat him up had little appeal, but _someone_ had to agree to do it. If no one did, customers would do it without consent when they lost sight of themselves in their rage, and that would be bad for everyone. Better to have the occasional Safeguard who would take the abuse willingly and keep the others safe.

It was lucky that most of the ones who needed to hit with rage were executives, and therefore unenhanced. He was usually healed quickly enough that Zack was rarely aware when it happened, and Cloud was certainly not going to bring it up. The SOLDIERs interested in things like spankings and slapping and paddling were much more careful. They tended to have some idea of how to do this safely, and always at least offered aftercare, even though Cloud tended to send them on their way without, accepting only a Cure and maybe a potion.

He knew he was playing with fire to tell Genesis Rhapsodos, one of the most enhanced SOLDIERs, to come at him in anger and not an interest in rough but restrained play. But he was certain he could take it. He’d take what he had to.

But, it didn’t go the way he thought it would. Genesis’s grip was hard enough to litter him in bruises, but they were small. The kisses he covered him with stung, and left further bruises behind. He fucked Cloud with his face pressed to the mattress, one hand around the back of his neck pinning him there, the other wrapped far too tight around his hip to keep his ass in the air. He plowed into him with little restraint, and Cloud was absolutely certain his ass would be hurting for a while afterward.

Yet, the moment after Genesis came, something strange happened. He moaned with his release, but the second he came down from his high, his attitude changed, now that the tension had been relieved. His hands pulled away, and when they came back, the touch was gently. He trailed his fingers over the bruises he had left.

“_Shit_,” he cursed, surprising Cloud further. “Cloud, I’m sorry, I lost myself for a moment, I swear I didn’t mean—“

“Genesis,” Cloud laughed, rolling over onto his back now that they seemed to be done. He looked up at the Commander, still perched on his knees. Cloud sat up and went about putting Genesis back in his pants, as he hadn’t bothered to undress. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I already told you it was fine, didn’t I?”

“But, Cloud, there’s so many bruises—”

Cloud thought about telling him how there had been no cane cracking against the back of his thighs and no daggers that terrified him pressed too close to his skin, but decided against it. He wasn’t sure how he would take that truth, and he didn’t know Genesis well enough to gauge that reaction. He hadn’t even told Zack, knowing exactly how he would take it. If he had to vent, he went to Vincent, who was the second out of three Safeguards that allowed such rough play.

Instead of admitting anything, Cloud pulled Genesis down with a gentle hand cupping his cheek, until he was able to kiss him with their usual heat completely absent.

“Stop worrying so much, okay?” he said, smiling up at Genesis, who still looked uncertain. “I told you that I can take rough, and I wasn’t lying. This is fine.”

“At least let me Cure you.”

Cloud shook his head with a smile in exasperation, but shrugged, saying, “If you want.”

Genesis didn’t cast just one Cure. He cast several, until all the bruises were absent, and even the pain in Cloud’s ass had faded.

“Better?”

“Yes,” Cloud admitted. “But you still didn’t have to. I didn’t insist on taking you to bed because I expected a Cure after.”

“Let me soothe my own conscience then. I owe you an apology, I—I’m rarely so rough. I was just—I’ve been furious with you for a while, despite knowing you did nothing wrong, and you told me it was okay; I lost sight of where the line of what was reasonable was.”

“Genesis—_Genesis_, hey,” Cloud said, touching his arm. “You were plenty reasonable. I knew what I was getting into, when I talked an angry First into taking out some frustration on me. I knew, and I still encouraged you. It was my idea; stop blaming yourself.”

It might have been Cloud’s idea, but Genesis still felt guilty. He would also learn his lesson from this: he was not going to treat Cloud this way a second time. There would not be a repeat.

Genesis tugged the sheet that had been pushed to the side out from where it was tugged into the foot of the bed. He then wrapped it around Cloud’s shoulders, covering him, as his pseudo-nightgown had been lost at some point. He settled in front of him as Cloud wrapped it around himself.

“Do you still want to talk? If you don’t want me here any longer, I understand.”

Cloud gave him an exasperated smile.

“I already told you, it’s fine. I’m happy to talk. What do you want to talk about?”

“Tell me about how you spend your time with them. Angeal, Sephiroth, and Zack.”

This was more fishing than getting to know Cloud, and they both knew it. But it might set him at ease to know what they got up to. He knew that whatever they did was harmless, but it might still help to hear.

So Cloud laid out most of it, leaving his more vulnerable moments out of it. He certainly didn’t admit to his insecurities about Zack leaving him for Angeal, or his hapless attempt to get Angeal in bed. It was as much honesty as he would give to someone who was more or less a stranger still, and he thought Genesis might understand that, if he was aware.

Genesis interrupted with questions, and the conversation, strangely enough, flowed easily between them. When Cloud’s alarm eventually went off, notifying him that the appointment was up, they were both relaxed and joking with one another. They had the same biting sense of humor and played well off each other.

All in all, the visit did far more to set Genesis at ease than he had been expecting.

When Cloud finished turning the alarm off, Genesis had already stood and was righting his clothes.

“Will it be alright if I visit again? I think this… helped. There will be no repeat of the first part; I will not lay hands on you in such a way again. But I enjoy speaking to you, apparently; I’d like to do it again sometime.”

Cloud tilted his head, but smiled.

“Of course, Genesis. You’re welcome whenever I’m free. Just _call_ next time, okay?”

Genesis waved dismissively, saying, “Fine, fine,” though they both knew he would take the request seriously.

Cloud trailed after Genesis to the door and showed him out, with one last farewell before the door shut behind him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, exhausted from the encounter now that it was over.

Gaia, everything had gotten so complicated.

Cloud glanced at his schedule and saw that he had an hour before his next appointment. He changed the sheets, as he did after every appointment, but then he crawled into bed for a brief nap. Sleeping was preferable to thinking about this whole mess.

If Angeal noticed the spring in Genesis’s step when he arrived home (he did), he also accepted his clearly false explanation that “nothing happened” when asked.

Sometimes it was better to let things lie.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw unsafe knifeplay

This was, arguably, his nightmare. 

When he’d first gotten his schedule, he’d been thrilled. Delighted, even. The whole second half of his day was taken up by the Firsts: Sephiroth, then Angeal, followed by Genesis, and ending with Zack, who was planning to spend the night. 

The problem, however, was that his third appointment at 1030 was with Rufus Shinra. 

He thought it would be fine. Appointments with Rufus were hard to prepare for and impossible to gauge until he walked in the room. It all depended on what his father had done recently. Sometimes, he was perfectly pleasant, and acted nearly like a lover. Other times, he was downright cruel. He loved taking his frustration out on Cloud in particular, making sneering comments about how lucky Cloud was that his blond hair didn’t come from President Shinra. 

Sometimes, his anger was fiery, and it was an endless amount of blows that seemed to rain down on every inch of Cloud’s skin until the appointment was over. Other times, he was much more interested in Cloud’s terror, in wielding control over him. Those times were when his eyes went cold and calculating and were what made Cloud believe that yes, he spent too much time with the Turks. 

Cloud opened his door wearing nothing, per Rufus’s standing order for his visits. But the second he opened the door, he knew he was dealing with Rufus the Turk, and that was Cloud’s least favorite version. 

He smiled at Cloud, calm and ice cold, and gestured with his chin toward the bed. 

“On the bed, spread eagle. Don’t move once you’re there.”

Cloud couldn’t help but hiss in a breath; he  _ hated _ that order, and everything that always followed. As he did what he was instructed, he reminded himself repeatedly that he could end things any time he wanted to. Nevermind that doing that would mean someone  _ else _ would have to deal with Rufus, and he was very unlikely to actually do that. Still, he clung to it being an option. It felt like a bit of safety at least. 

Cloud lay as instructed and did his best not to move. This was how they played Rufus’s dagger game. Rufus would trail his knives over Cloud’s skin as Cloud fought not to even breathe, to be as still as humanly possible. He left trailing pink cat scratches, never really bringing more than the occasional bead of blood to the surface. 

That was, unless Cloud moved. If he moved, it was Rufus never adjusted to compensate. However deep the knife bit was up to how much Cloud moved. And sometimes, in his sheer terror of the dagger, he jerked a bit too much. 

It was rare that he had more than one or two proper cuts, as he had gotten better at their game over time. But it never left him in a good headspace, after. Usually, he would pass off the rest of his appointments; his friends were quick to cover for him, never needing to know more than who visited. But considering that he only had one appointment between when the Firsts were arriving, he wasn’t sure what to do. 

In the end, his conundrum made him jumpier than usual. He came away with three one-inch cuts and a single three-inch in addition to his cat scratches. It would all go away in a moment with the potion he would take after Rufus left, but the effect on his mental state would linger. 

He decided to pass his next appointment to Vincent and take the time to pull himself together. He took a very long, very hot shower after his potion, and allowed himself the comfort of Zack’s overlarge hoodie. He reserved it for bad days, but only Zack would know that; no one else would recognize it. 

That was how he wound up sitting in his too-big hoodie and comfiest jeans, tapping on his PHS, when he heard Sephiroth’s crisp, formal knock. 

He stood and went to the door, holding it open for Sephiroth with a smile that he  _ thought _ wouldn’t look forced. Sephiroth paused just inside the door, and the second it shut, he looked around the room, a furrow in his brow. 

Cloud’s stomach sank; this was not how Sephiroth usually greeted him. 

“Everything ok?” he asked tentatively. 

Sephiroth stepped closer and began pulling up Cloud’s sleeves, turning his arms to examine them. 

“I should be asking you that. Why do I smell blood in the air?”

Cloud went stiff. He hadn’t thought about the smell. Sephiroth glanced up at him. 

“What happened?” Sephiroth asked, certain now that something  _ had _ happened. 

“... Uhm.”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed more. 

“Cloud?”

“I, uh…  _ shit _ .”

“You understand that you’re making me more concerned the longer you stall.”

“ _ Fuck.  _ I—can you—can we just, not? Talk about it?”

And, strangely enough, Sephiroth relaxed. He didn’t like that Cloud had been hurt somehow, or that he felt he couldn’t discuss it, or the strange slope to his shoulders. But, if Cloud were to catch him immediately after an appointment with Hojo, he wouldn’t be interested in discussing it either. He could gather that this might be the Safeguard’s version. 

“Of course, if you’d like. I’m happy to listen, if you change your mind.”

“Thanks,” Cloud mumbled, looking at his toes. 

Sephiroth tugged Cloud’s sleeves back down and took his hand, pulling him toward the bed. He then began to talk about anything he could think about in hopes of distracting his clearly morose friend. Cloud had distracted him when he needed it dozens of times—he didn’t think he would be as effective, but the least he could do was try. 

Cloud ended up tucked in a ball, with his knees pulled to his chest inside the hoodie, his arms wrapped around his legs with the sleeves dangling over his hands. He rested his cheek against his knees and felt he could breathe far easier than he could before Sephiroth arrived, and that was an odd thing. The fear that the daggers raised in him felt more distant now that he was listening to The General essentially bitch about his paperwork and the ways Zack and Genesis made it worse. 

But before he realized it, his alarm was beeping at him. He blinked and looked down at it from where it was laying on the sheets; time had passed so quickly, with his brain still foggy from the morning but wrapped in the strange feeling of safety Sephiroth brought with him. He was moving slow when he turned off the alarm, clearly reluctant for this to end. Not that seeing Angeal wouldn’t be nice, but he didn’t want to deal with the worry again. 

Which was exactly Sephiroth’s concern. He knew his boyfriends and Zackary were the rest of Cloud’s day; they had organized it to give him a pleasant afternoon mid-week, a chance to relax some. He knew each of them would worry as he did, and he didn’t think confronting the issue over and over again would help Cloud. 

That was why he risked saying, “I understand that means this is the end of my timeslot, but if you’re amenable, I was wondering if I might stay for the next. I believe Angeal said this was when he was coming?”

Cloud blinked at him, setting his PHS aside again. 

“Yeah. I mean, if he’s okay with that, I don’t mind.”

“We’ll see when he gets here. I can always leave, if he wants me to.”

He lapsed back into the story of Genesis submitting 17 late reports all at once, filled in with only LOVELESS quotes. 

Before he finished the story, there was a perfunctory knock, and Angeal stepped in without waiting for an answer. He raised an eyebrow at Sephiroth’s presence, and then rolled his eyes at the story. 

“I still can’t believe you let him get away with that,” Angeal said, smiling as he approached. Cloud looked up and smiled back at him, and if he still looked a little fuzzy around the edges, Angeal wasn’t overly concerned. After all, it may smell like blood in the room, but he guessed it was from Sephiroth. Maybe he had a pop-up mission this morning. 

“I didn’t. You’ll recall I sent him to Icicle for that.”

“Yeah, but you also filed the reports for him. He prefers Icicle to paperwork.”

Sephiroth hummed noncommittally as he tilted his face up, Angeal taking the cue to kiss him hello. He then stepped to the side and kissed Cloud’s cheek in a friendlier version, which earned him the laugh he had been looking for. He settled on Cloud’s other side. 

Angeal did not have the tip-off to Cloud’s mood that Sephiroth did. He wrote off the blood in the air and thought nothing of Cloud in comfortable clothes, as his current outfit wasn’t  _ entirely _ dissimilar from what he usually wore during their appointments, to an untrained eye. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t slowly getting the idea that something was up. 

He pitched in with Sephiroth’s stories, taking over from time to time to tell his own. He especially added ones about training Zack, because Cloud always had loved those. But as he spoke, it became clear that something wasn’t right. Cloud’s eyes looked just a little too distant. He wasn’t as lively as he normally was. He wasn’t touching any of them, having compacted himself into as small a unit as possible. He usually did  _ much _ more talking than he was at the moment, where he asked sparse questions and gave hums of acknowledgement. 

When he shot Sephiroth a questioning look over Cloud’s head when the Safeguard was looking at Sephiroth, his boyfriend just caught his eye and nodded slightly. It was all Angeal needed for confirmation. 

Except, soon enough the timeslot was winding down, and Angeal wasn’t sure what to do. Because whatever had happened had left a lingering effect on Cloud. He was relaxing more and more as they went, but he wasn’t  _ present _ the way he usually was. And he didn’t think Genesis wouldn’t notice, or wouldn’t be able to handle it. But he  _ did _ think that confronting the issue in any way would set Cloud back. Plus, if Sephiroth wasn’t present, he would have to explain the scent of blood, because that was sure to worry Genesis from the start. 

The alarm went off, and Cloud sighed, turning it off again. Before he could even set the PHS back down, Angeal was speaking. 

“Would it be okay if we stayed? We never get to all see you together, and I think it’d set some nerves at ease to see you and Genesis together. I know he’s been visiting often recently, and I think that means he’s over his jealous fit, but I’d still like to see it and be sure.”

Cloud turned to Angeal and smiled, waggling his eyebrows in a very tired-looking attempt at humor (Angeal was still heartened that he made that much effort). 

“And if we were going to get up to something that required privacy?”

“I’d tell you that Genesis would be thrilled at the idea of us watching, if not participating. Don’t mention it to him unless you want him to latch onto the idea.”

Cloud chuckled and rested his cheek on his knees again. 

“It’s fine by me. But don’t you both have work to do?”

“I think I can easily speak for us both and say we’d infinitely prefer to be here,” Sephiroth said, carefully not mentioning the multitude of reasons  _ why _ they wanted that. 

Cloud shrugged and said, “As long as Genesis doesn’t mind.”

“As long as I don’t mind what?”

Genesis shut the door behind him, and Cloud sighed; he didn’t know when the man would learn to knock. 

Cloud just gestured to the men on either side of him. 

“Why would I mind additional lovely company?” Genesis said, crossing to the bed. He kissed Angeal, then Sephiroth, then Cloud, not bothering with the formality of aiming for his cheek. They had gone to bed plenty of times, there was no reason he couldn’t kiss him on the mouth. When Cloud was busy looking bemused, he climbed onto the bed, settling in behind Cloud, one leg folded between them for modesty’s sake. He did, however, lean forward and rest his chin on Cloud’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Cloud’s where they held his knees. 

Angeal was watching closely, with some tension in his eyes. Cloud was keeping to himself, and Angeal had guessed it might be for a reason, but here he was, relaxing into Genesis’s hold. He let his legs drop from where they were curled to his chest and leaned back into Genesis’s arms, who wrapped them around his waist, now. 

Cloud told himself it was because this was still work, and if Genesis wanted to hold him, he was allowed. But the way he relaxed so completely, the way he leaned into the touch spoke more to how safe he felt, surrounded by these men. It was like a balm to a burn after how afraid he had been that morning, how completely unsafe Rufus made him feel when he got like that. 

Genesis didn’t need explanations. He knew something was wrong the minute he saw both Angeal and Sephiroth there, the careful distance between them all, the way Cloud was trying to close himself off while clinging to their words. He had picked up on the hazy look in Cloud’s eyes, the way he seemed exhausted. Despite his general tendencies toward theatrics, this was not something to make a fuss over. Cloud wasn’t the type who enjoyed a production made over him. So, he would treat it like things were normal, while giving Cloud the care he clearly needed, more than usual for some reason. 

The last few weeks had done wonders for his relationship with Cloud. He visited often, now, and they didn’t even always fuck. The initial tension was gone, leaving them two men who understood each other remarkably well on an instinctual level. A few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have felt inclined to help, much less know how to go about it. Luckily, it was now, not then. 

Genesis joined in the story telling, only kept his voice relatively low. The others quickly picked up on the idea, and before long, Genesis was shushing the others. They all listened for a long moment as Cloud breathed, deep and slow. He had fallen asleep, leaning back against Genesis, cradled in his arms. 

“Now,” Genesis said, keeping his voice low. “What the hell happened?”

He and Angeal both looked to Sephiroth, who had been here first. 

Sephiroth shrugged. 

“I’m not sure. The room smelled like blood when I entered, and he wouldn’t explain when asked. He didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t press.”

“It smelled like this  _ before _ you got here?” Angeal asked. 

Sephiroth nodded. 

“I’m not sure why. He doesn’t seem injured, but he might have been Cured.”

“I understand being rough on accident and leaving bruises, but  _ blood _ ? That doesn’t seem accidental,” Genesis said, a furrow in his brow. 

“No, it doesn’t,” was Sephiroth’s only answer. 

“We’ll ask the front desk later,” Angeal said, picking up Cloud’s PHS and turning off the alarm so it wouldn’t wake him. “If there’s a history of violent patrons, I’m sure they would know.”

“Later,” Genesis insisted. “When he’s in deep enough sleep that jostling the bed won’t wake him.”

“I’m surprised at you,” Sephiroth interrupted. “It wasn’t so long ago you were furious with him, but you walked in here and immediately knew he would accept being held.”

“I’m sorry to say it, dear, but we all know you aren’t the best at reading people.”

“I’m much better, and I didn’t know, either,” Angeal said, watching Genesis tilt his head in an approximation of a shrug, or the closest he could get with little movement. 

“You also err on the side of caution. I’m sure you would have been comfortable enough risking reaching out eventually, you were just taking too long about it.”

They hadn’t realized how long it had taken Cloud to fall asleep. Before Angeal could answer, there were two quick taps on the door and Zack bursting in with a smile that quickly faded into confusion. 

“Hey, uh. What’s going on here?”

“What does it look like?” Genesis purred, giving Zack his best leer and holding Cloud closer. 

Zack rolled his eyes, but started coming closer after shutting the door. 

“It looks like Cloud had a bad day. But why are you all here?”

“How did you tell that? He’s asleep,” Sephiroth asked. 

Zack nodded toward Cloud and said, “He only wears that old hoodie of mine when he’s upset.”

They all glanced at the garment; they had thought nothing of it. 

“I came in and the room smelled of blood. He wouldn’t say what happened,” Sephiroth explained. 

Zack came and sat gingerly on the bed, looking at Cloud in concern. 

“That happens, sometimes. He usually cancels his appointments after. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you all not to come.”

“Wait,” Genesis said, an edge to his tone. “You  _ knew _ he gets bloodied?”

Zack sighed impatiently and tousled his hair. 

“Yeah. I asked the front desk about it. He’s one of a handful that agreed to take the violent ones. He could turn them away, but won’t. I don’t like it, but it’s his decision to make.”

“He clearly doesn’t enjoy it, if it upsets him this much,” Genesis argued. 

“No, I don’t think he does,” Zack agreed. “I think he takes them so other people won’t have to. He’s like that. A little too often.”

“But that’s—“

“It’s just how he is. You can argue with him until you’re blue in the face; you won’t change his mind. With him, you learn to pick your battles, and save the arguing for something you might actually win.”

“I don’t like that he does this to himself,” Angeal muttered, watching as Cloud shifted in his sleep, nuzzling closer to Genesis. 

“I’ve thought, since the first time we met, that he doesn’t take care of himself well enough. He puts everyone else before his own needs,” Sephiroth said with a frown. 

Zack gave a wry smile and shrugged. 

“He’s got a big heart. Too big, really.”

“He doesn’t think enough of himself, either,” Angeal added. 

Zack sighed; he wasn’t going to be the one to mention it, unsure if it was giving up too many of Cloud’s secrets. But Angeal was busy thinking about how Cloud had been so adamant that Angeal deserved Zack but he didn’t, how obvious it had seemed to him. 

Genesis’s arms tightened a little around Cloud protectively. 

“We’ll teach him better,” he promised. 

Zack laughed quietly and without humor, saying, “I’ve been trying that since I met him, and I haven’t made much progress.”

“You were by yourself, then. Now, there are all of us. We’ll make it work, somehow.”

Zack looked around at them all, in their matching looks of determination, and smiled softly. 

“Y’know, I always knew he would help you guys, but I didn’t really think you’d want to help him.”

“That was foolish of you,” Genesis said. “We always repay our debts, and we owe Cloud quite a lot. Even if we didn’t, he’s a gem. He deserves better.”

Zack’s smile quietly grew. 

“Gen, I swear I could kiss you.”

They all came to a pause at that, because Zack sounded a little too earnest. Genesis’s eyebrows raised, and Zack looked strangely something that resembled bashful. Angeal looked between them fondly, while Sephiroth looked confused. 

“Perhaps another time, dear,” Genesis said with a small smile, that was nowhere near as smarmy as it ought to have been, considering he usually didn’t bypass a chance to give Zack a hard time. 

Before anyone could think of something to say, Cloud rolled over, nuzzling his face into Genesis’s chest with a happy sigh.

Zack tore his eyes away from the image to look at the others, and found their faces to be far softer than he expected. 

He swallowed. 

They were all in much deeper than they thought, weren’t they?


	18. Chapter 18

The Firsts had started a new habit, and it was one that Cloud, for one, adored. Every Wednesday, they took his last four slots. The order varied based on their schedules, and occasionally one or two was missing for the sake of a mission, but it had been working out beautifully. Today, Angeal was in Mideel for a mission of some sort involving griffons, but his afternoon otherwise went Sephiroth, Genesis, and then Zack. Zack usually took the last spot, as long as he was in town, so he could spend the night.

When Sephiroth arrived, Cloud hopped off his bed with a smile and began to approach, but slowed his steps as he got closer. When he came to a stop in front of him, it was clear: he had backslid. They had been doing much better, over the last month or so, about Sephiroth not feeling overwhelmed by his relationship with Angeal and Genesis. But the set of his shoulders was all wrong, and his face was completely dead, in a way that it only went when he was actively closing himself off.

Cloud smiled again, and it was a little soft around the eyes for a work expression. But he reached out and slid his hands around Sephiroth’s hips to sink them into his back pockets.

“Bed?” he asked, tilting his head to one side.

“Bed,” Sephiroth agreed.

Cloud began walking them backward, using his grip on Sephiroth’s ass to pull him along.

Cloud sat on the bed and, with some careful maneuvering, got himself laid back on it with Sephiroth draped over him, without taking his hands out of his pockets. He tugged him down and rolled his own hips up in time, pressing them together, though neither was fully hard yet.

Sephiroth was being strangely… pliant. He wasn’t taking control of the encounter the way he usually did when he got like this. He seemed to want Cloud to lead, which he was more than capable of doing, but he was beginning to wonder where the lines were. He didn’t want to cross any.

“C’mon,” Cloud said, taking one hand from Sephiroth’s pocket and going to grab the back of his head, pressing his face toward his throat as he bared it. “You know how to give it to me. Stop holding back.”

Sephiroth, strangely, didn’t react as normal. There was no correction, no putting Cloud back in his place. There was no growl in his chest, no wrists pinned to the mattress. He just began to mouth along Cloud’s throat. He slipped a hand down Cloud’s body and began undoing his pants, pulling him out to begin stroking him. Cloud groaned his appreciation and encouragement, but was still confused. Sephiroth didn’t bother with his pleasure for the first round.

It was strange, but Cloud wasn’t alarmed until Sephiroth pulled away from his throat and took his chin carefully in his hand. He looked at him, seeming to deliberate on something, before slipping the hand up and into Cloud’s hair, his mouth descending on Cloud’s own.

And Cloud’s world came to a halt.

It was one of Sephiroth’s few rules. He didn’t get undressed, and he didn’t kiss. Cloud wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do—they were _Sephiroth’s _rules, and if he wanted to break them, that was up to him. But he might regret it later, and was it up to Cloud to keep that barrier between them, as a friend?

But then Sephiroth’s tongue swiped at his bottom lip and he forgot the whole train of thought. He moaned and opened his mouth to kiss him back, sinking both hands into Sephiroth’s hair now to hold him close. He kissed him exactly as hard and exactly as desperately as he’d been aching to for months.

Sephiroth reached down and began tugging off Cloud’s pants without breaking the kiss. They paused every now and then for a few breaths before diving back in, but did not pull away. Sephiroth leaned only far enough away to grab the lube off the nightstand before diving back in. It was more difficult to juggle preparation while kissing than it was while focusing, and a slight mess was made with the lube, but they both preferred it this way.

Sephiroth had felt the need to ask Genesis and Angeal beforehand. He had explained that he felt the inexplicable urge to kiss Cloud while they fucked and, when Genesis laughed and insisted that there was nothing odd about that, Angeal had understood quicker. They had discussed that it was a newer level of intimacy, to Sephiroth at least, and they had still agreed. Sephiroth had expected more jealousy from Genesis, especially when it was made clear that the only people he had ever actually _wanted_ to kiss, he was currently dating.

But Genesis had just shrugged and said, cryptically, “Try it and see what happens.”

So that’s what he was doing.

And what was happening was that Sephiroth’s heart was racing in his chest, much as Cloud’s was, which was clear to their enhanced ears. They were kissing each other with a strange desperation, like they had been drowning and their only source of air was each other’s lungs. Cloud was clinging to him in a way he never did, and the work persona he always put on was absent. It was like he was taking _Cloud_ to bed for the first time, and that every other instance had been someone else.

As Sephiroth pressed himself inside for the first time, Cloud moaned his name with a kind of breathless edge he’d never heard before. He kept whispering encouragement, talking about how good Sephiroth felt, about how much he wanted it. They were things Sephiroth had heard from Cloud before, but never in this _tone_, with an air of what he wanted to say was honesty to them. All the play-acting seemed to be gone, and it left them two men and the strange thing brewing in the air between them.

It seemed to both go on forever and end much too soon. Cloud had come first, and kept shivering with aftershocks of pleasure with every thrust Sephiroth had to give him. He was giving these soft sounds that were terribly sweet, and looking at Sephiroth with such soft eyes, and he kept racking his brain but couldn’t remember Cloud ever looking at him that way. It was what had Sephiroth spilling inside him.

Cloud sighed as Sephiroth slipped out of him. He leaned up just enough to yank off his shirt and toss it to one side, unconcerned that it now had cum stains on it.

Sephiroth paused for a moment, long enough that Cloud tilted his head in confusion. He was about to ask what was wrong when, strangely enough, Sephiroth decided to start undressing as well. He did it with no fanfare or pretense, just a quick, militaristic dress-down. But then he climbed back in bed to find Cloud smiling up at him, that strange softness still in his eyes. It was clear he knew he was being trusted with something, and was happy to encourage.

Still, he didn’t comment on it. He just pressed a kiss to Sephiroth’s shoulder, unsure if he was allowed to kiss him on the mouth again.

Sephiroth took his chin and corrected him, pressing a kiss to his lips instead.

Cloud smiled, and it looked almost dreamy.

“Are we going for a round two, today?” Cloud asked, laying back on the bed but leaving enough space for Sephiroth to be comfortable. He always seemed to prefer at least a few inches between them. But this time, he settled right next to Cloud, their skin brushing.

“If you’re amenable, I would like to ‘go’ until we’re out of time.”

Cloud let out a joking whistle that had them both laughing, but the smile he gave Sephiroth was fond.

“Good thing we’ve both got SOLDIER stamina, then.”

“Yes, good thing.”

Whatever had happened in that first round happened in every round thereafter. The only problem was that, as Cloud got accustomed to it, he realized what was happening.

It was not a good realization.

This was the way he fucked Zack, not the way he fucked clients.

That meant feelings he wasn’t supposed to have.

A part of him wanted to push Sephiroth away and kick him out the second he realized. He was too much of a professional to do that, though, and decided to stick it out, but he _would_ put his work face back on.

Only, every time he tried, Sephiroth kissed him again, and his mask slipped through his fingers.

Before long, Sephiroth was redressing and leaving, with one final kiss goodbye.

The second he was far enough away from the door that Cloud knew he wouldn’t hear it, he said, utterly heartfelt, “_Fuck_.”

In fact, he continued to say “fuck” as he went about cleaning himself up, putting on fresh clothes, and changing the sheets. He continued to say “fuck” as he paced his room, waiting for his next appointment.

He kept wondering what the hell he was going to tell Zack.

And then, suddenly, he stopped pacing, as he remembered who his next appointment was, and wondered what the hell he was going to tell _Genesis_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is kind of short! but if I didn't cut it this way it was gonna be way too long for a single chapter, so unfortunately it's a bit of a cliffhanger. I promise I will get the next update out quicker, though!


	19. Chapter 19

He didn’t have much of a pause between the moment where he realized he was going to have to tell Genesis _something_ until he was bursting into the room without knocking, like always. Except, the usual exuberance was absent. He seemed almost sedate as he walked into the room, easing the door shut behind him. Cloud watched silently as Genesis let the door click shut and turned to him, something strange in his eyes.

“Genesis, I—… we have to talk.”

“We don’t,” Genesis insisted, something intense in his eyes. “We don’t have to say a word.”

“… Genesis?”

The SOLDIER stalked closer to him, looking close enough to predatory that Cloud actually backed away until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. The collision was hard enough to knock the stability out of his legs, and he fell to his ass on the bed.

“I don’t want to talk. I have a point to make, and if I try to use my words, no eloquence in the world will get across what I’m trying to say. No words. I will make my point without them, or not at all.”

“But, Genesis, I—_Sephiroth_—“

“_Hush._”

Genesis cupped his face tenderly between his palms and pressed a kiss to his lips. It burned, iridescent and supernova, breathtaking in its beauty. It both was and was not like the kisses he had shared with Sephiroth. Those kisses had been heavy, almost leaden with the same meaning that was in these, but this kiss consumed him in a way Sephiroth’s had not. He got the feeling that it was simply a matter of practice, that Sephiroth didn’t know his way around the meeting of mouths the way Genesis did, not with his hesitancy, with the meaning he attached to the gesture. Genesis was an artist, and he was sculpting something out of his encounter, something that was leaving Cloud breathless as he watched it unfold.

Genesis lifted Cloud under the arms and tossed him further up the bed, but was on him in the blink of an eye. He was pulling both their clothes away in haste, and Cloud was left scrambling to help. Between the two of them and their enhancements, garments fell to the floor in pieces. When they were bare and against one another, Cloud groaned, grabbing Genesis by the hair and pulling him close, needing to kiss him the way he needed air in his lungs.

He had been frightened to explain what had happened with Sephiroth for many reasons. Not the least of which was Genesis’s recent jealousy. He feared that if he explained that there had been some strange meaning to the encounter, something that had not been there before, Genesis would hold that against him. Only, a part of him recognized that that thought was only so terrifying, so terrible, because he feared losing what he had built with Genesis himself.

It was easier, like this, to let himself be swept up in whatever point Genesis was trying to make instead, to let himself be subsumed by it all. Genesis had something to say, and Cloud’s ears were straining to hear it, guessing now what it might be, and desperate to hear it confirmed. He didn’t _dare_ put words to his hopes, didn’t dare imagine that what he dreamed might actually be. It was too much to hope for.

All the meaning behind these touches—it was toxic, he knew. He was with Zack. Zack might have been with Angeal as well, but Angeal wasn’t here. Sephiroth and Genesis might be with each other, and they might be friends with Cloud, but as far as their relationship went, Cloud was an unnecessary third wheel. There was no place for him, here. All he wanted, all he dreamed for—it was out of reach. All he could do was savor these moments of make-believe, where he could fool himself into believing that maybe he meant to Sephiroth and Genesis what those men meant to him. He would have hell to pay, for the realization that he thought of them as more than friends, and he would break Zack’s heart in the process, he knew.

But for one glorious, shining moment, it felt like Genesis loved him the way he loved Genesis.

Their hands were desperate against one another. Normally, Genesis was either so passionate he was rushed in his preparation, or nearly languid with it, taking his time to tease. He was thorough, this time, savoring every gesture, every press of his fingers inside Cloud, but not so drawn out that Cloud was ready to beg him to move along. Not to be confused, though, he _was_ desperate, he found—only, he was desperate for what wasn’t being said, the meaning between gestures, the quite refrain of “I love you” breathed into every movement but never said with words.

When Genesis finally pressed inside of him, however, Cloud had enough. He couldn’t play by Genesis’s rules any longer. The man had some point to prove, and Cloud was starting to guess what it was, but he was terrified of that his guesses were right. So he rolled them over, straddling Genesis’s hips, and began riding him.

When Genesis tried to rise up to kiss Cloud, the blond slapped his hands to the man’s chest and pinned him down, unwilling to accept the gesture. With every passing moment, the whispers in his ear made it clearer just what Genesis was trying to say, and it terrified him. It terrified him, because he feared the feelings were mutual, and he didn’t know where that left him. So, much as he had attempted with Sephiroth, he tried to drag his work mask down over his face. But he had learned from his romp with Sephiroth—he couldn’t let Genesis kiss him, or it would all come tumbling out between his fingertips, and he would be lost.

He kept his hands planted on Genesis’s chest as he rode him, hard and fast and without any sense of romance, using every ounce of his enhancement to keep the commander flat against the bed. He could feel, more than once, the man fighting him, trying to rise up and teach Cloud with his touch whatever lesson he had in mind.

Only, the second Cloud came, he felt all the strength dwindle out of him.

He could feel his mask slip from between his fingers, and lamented seeing it go. He felt the strength in his arms weakened and go slack, his fingers light instead of bruising on Genesis’s chest. When Genesis reached up and pulled Cloud down to his chest, he nearly collapsed against him, weak from the force of his own orgasm, and the fight he had been putting up against his own emotions.

Genesis continued fucking him, but there was no urgency left. The rolls of his hips were slow, languid as they pressed in and out of Cloud, the grip he had on the blond’s hips more of a caress than anything. Cloud couldn’t even find it in himself to employ his usual tricks to try and get Genesis to come quicker; all he could do was lie there, safe and warm against Genesis’s chest, his face pressed to his collar bone.

Eventually, he felt the rush of warmth and Genesis go still beneath him, heard the quiet groan in his ear. Almost immediately, he started to pull away, but Genesis stopped him with a single touch.

“Genesis, I—” Cloud whispered, pulling away just enough to look at the man. “We shouldn’t. Not anymore. Not like this. We both know we shouldn’t.”

“If there is hell to pay, dearest, we will pay it later.”

When Genesis pulled Cloud down into a kiss, he couldn’t help but moan into it. His lips were soft and tender against Cloud’s own, everything he could have ever asked for, everything he could have ever dreamed of, everything that wasn’t his to have. He couldn’t stop the flash of Zack’s face behind his eyelids, or the way his heart turned to ice in his chest.

It had been different, with Sephiroth. With Sephiroth, he hadn’t realized until it was almost over what was happening, and he had fought tooth and nail for his cold professionalism once he did realize. But Genesis, with the knowing look in his eyes, with his soft touches and calm reassurances, made it impossible to fight. He felt like a traitor. Like this was betrayal of the worst kind, because it was _knowing_. He could see, could feel what he felt for Genesis, what Genesis felt for him. He knew about their other partners, knew they would not be pleased, knew that they should have had a conversation _before_ this happened, not after.

But he couldn’t stop himself.

Some distant, almost long forgotten, optimistic part of himself told him that it’d all be okay in the end. That they would work things out, that it could all be talked through, that there was forgiveness to be had, and he didn’t need to worry.

The overwhelming pessimistic majority of his heart trampled that.

He was betraying Zack, who had done so much for him. He was betraying Sephiroth, who felt something for him, even if he didn’t know it. He was betraying Angeal, who loved Sephiroth and Genesis, who trusted Cloud to sleep with them but not love them.

A part of him wanted to laugh at the thought. How could he ever, _ever_ get this close, and not love them?

_But_, the stubborn part of him crowed, Genesis was here, doing just the same. If he was a monster, Genesis was too, for doing this knowingly. It had taken a moment, but they both had clear eyes, now. Now, as their mouths crushed against one another desperately, as their hands pawed and they worked their way towards going again, there was no pretending. They both knew exactly what this meant, and they both wanted it anyway.

It was wrong.

If Cloud was anything like the man he had always told himself he was, he would put a stop to this right now.

But he was weak. He _wanted_. Being with Genesis felt so _right_, eased some long-standing ache inside him, and it felt like he could finally breathe again, at long last. He knew, as he kissed Genesis with a desperate sob that the man seemed to intrinsically understand, that there was no fighting this. He had to give in if he wanted to get through. On the other side, perhaps, he would be able to work toward making amends. But there was no way to get to that point without making the mistake first. Walking away from Genesis right now would have been like trying to walk with no legs. It couldn’t be done, and it would cripple him to try.

Cloud grabbed two fistfuls of Genesis’s hair and kissed him with every ounce of passion he’d ever been able to scrounge together, ignoring the tears on his own cheeks, and did what he knew was wrong, even though it felt so right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE things will be okay, this really is a full agszc fic, we'll get there gang


	20. Chapter 20

Cloud had been pacing before Genesis arrived, with heBtoo much pent up nervous energy about the impending conversation for sitting still. Now, he was waiting for Zack to arrive, just sitting on the edge of the bed, too full of dread to move. He had changed the sheets and cleaned himself up, but it was as much as he could be bothered with. He just pulled a spare sheet out of his closet to wrap around his shoulders, feeling too sick to his stomach with guilt to bother dressing. A twisted part of him wanted Zack to guess at first glance what had happened, though he knew it was impossible.

Yet when Zack came into the room, his usual exuberance was missing. Much like Genesis, he stepped calmly into the room, and eased the door shut behind him. His hand lingered on the knob after the door had clicked shut, and there was a long moment that passed before Zack turned to face him. When he did, his face was unreadable.

“… Zack, I—”

“How’d it go, then?”

“… How’d what go?”

“You and Sephiroth and Genesis.”

Cloud’s brow furrowed as he said, “That’s what I have to talk to you about, but how do you know that anything happened?”

Zack took one long look at him, as if he could guess everything Cloud had to say. He approached slowly and only stopped when their knees were nearly knocking. He picked up Cloud’s hand, toying with his fingers.

“Genesis came to me yesterday. Explained he had this theory, about all of us. That the lines we had drawn had gotten blurred and there was no point in keeping them. He said you were the axis this was all spinning around, and if he just had a chance, he could prove it. He explained that Sephiroth wanted to kiss you, and what that meant, and that he gave him permission to try. He wanted my permission to come see you without trying so hard to keep walls between you two, just to see what would happen. Said we’d figure things out from there.” Zack paused, and looked up from Cloud’s hand to his wide, wide blue eyes. “I gave him my permission. So. What happened?”

Cloud swallowed hard. He wanted to pull his hand away, not feeling he deserved the contact, but he also needed to feel Zack’s skin against his, if he was ever going to be able to make it through this.

“I—_fuck_, Zack, I think I love him. Him and Sephiroth both. Gaia, I’m so sorry.”

Zack nodded slowly, but his expression wasn’t angry. It was curious, almost calculating. It was what he imagined Zack looked like, staring down a battlefield.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You basically set Angeal and I up. How can I be mad?”

“You can be mad because I spent hours—gods, it wasn’t even fucking, it was making love—and to men I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for. You _waited_, with Angeal. You talked _first_, you made sure you had my permission _first_. I just—we started, and what we felt hit me like a freight train, but I just couldn’t get myself to _stop_. I’m _sorry_, Zack.”

Zack sighed, and finally, a little humor came to his face.

“Listen, I knew that might be how things ended up. I knew Seph and Gen were coming down here with their hearts on their sleeves, and I knew there was a fair chance you’d feel the same way. You didn’t ask me, no, but I let it happen. You didn’t know it, but you had my permission.”

“But you said you didn’t know how it would turn out. You didn’t know we’d love each other. You couldn’t have agreed, not really, not without knowing.”

“Cloud, I know you. We had been making love for months before either of us admitted that’s what we were doing. You’ve got a lot of practice in the bedroom, you understand everything that happens there better than most people ever do. Of course you’d pick up on it the second emotions are involved—you’re always looking for it in clients to know when to cut them off. It’s just that, this time, you felt something too, and weren’t in denial about it, the way you were with me.”

“So, what, I wasn’t going to figure it out until they fucked me like they loved me?”

Zack offered a little grin and shrugged.

“I mean, if you’ve gotta be _crass_ about it.”

That had Cloud breathing a shocked laugh, and it felt _good_. Like a knot in his chest coming undone.

“I can’t believe I had to be hit over the head with it to know. I can’t believe _you_ knew that I would!”

Zack came and sat at Cloud’s side, putting an arm around his shoulders. Cloud let his head fall to Zack’s shoulder.

“Like I said, I know you, Cloud. The question is, where are we gonna go from here?”

Cloud rubbed at the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“I don’t know. This involves too many of us, now. I think we all have to talk about it, together. Honestly, I’m not sure Sephiroth left realizing what he felt, even. This is gonna be a _mess_.”

“We’ll work it out. But, first things first, I’m sending Angeal to you the second he’s back from his mission.” There was a brief pause before Zack continued, “Okay, well, after he showers off the monster guts. Then he’s visiting.”

“What?” Cloud said, looking up at Zack, who met his gaze. “Why?”

“Because you were closer to Angeal before you were close to Sephiroth and Genesis, really. If you fell for them, do you really think you don’t feel anything for Angeal?”

Cloud groaned, covering his eyes with his hand.

“Fuck. You’re right, I just, I—I don’t know what I feel.”

“Try what you did with Genesis and Sephiroth. See what happens.”

Cloud eyed Zack, saying, “With your permission, this time?”

Zack laughed and said, “Yes, with my permission.” He dropped a kiss into Cloud’s hair.

Cloud turned, cuddling up into Zack’s side, draping his legs over his lap. Only when he was nestled close did he risk what he had to say.

“How do you feel about them? Genesis and Sephiroth?”

Zack sighed heavily, pulling Cloud closer.

“I don’t know. I made a joke the other day about wanting to kiss Genesis, and I think I meant it more than I should have. I’ve been trying to figure this all out before we all end up talking, but I’m not making a lot of progress.”

“If you want to try fucking them and seeing if it helps, you’re welcome to.”

Cloud grinned as he watched Zack laugh, and laughed himself when Zack reached out to roughly tousle his hair.

“I’m not you, Cloud, I’m not sure I’d be able to tell at a glance what someone feels for me just because we’re fucking.”

Cloud shrugged, unapologetic.

“Just saying, it might be worth a shot.”

“I’ll think about it,” Zack said on a laugh.

Cloud yawned and said, “Is that as far as we can get on this issue tonight? Now that the dread’s passed, I’m wiped.”

Zack tilted his face up to kiss him soundly.

“Yeah, I think that’s as far as we’re getting tonight. We can figure the rest out later. Let’s get you some sleep, huh?”

Cloud yawned and stretched as Zack stood up to start dressing down to sleep.

“Yes, please.”


End file.
